Who else has anhedonia?
I used to be addicted to video games for a long time. Looking back I now realize it was a major coping mechanism for my shitty life. Now video games feel like work and I know they will not help me with creating a fulfilling life (if I decide to try).
I have 1 "friend" who I don't really like and he does stuff w me kind of. But it's never really enjoyable to hang around him.
All I do now is work 40 hours a week and come home and sleep or lie down in bed all day. I see a therapist once a week and I kind of look forward to it. I'm at the point where I'm curious to see what he could say to give me any hope. There's nothing realistically I can really do to fix my life so it's just amusing to see what he says when I know he's not allowed to agree that I should just end it.
Being social feels completely pointless. Everyone at my age and in my town has developed cliques. Everyone at my work is anti-social (I work in a lab). I don't really feel a genuine drive to do anything anyway - so if I joined a club or something no one would like my fake attitude.
I just feel that anything I do has no productive value to it. Nothing will make my life better - therefore it is unenjoyable. Learn to draw? Great - 5 years of extreme dedication to become good. It won't get you friends or a girlfriend or anything. Sometimes I workout but I also know that it isn't going to help me get a girlfriend really. At my age it's mostly personality/connections/social prowess/wealth. Just everything feels so ridiculously pointless...because it really is...at least in relation to my own life. No one wants to admit it though.
I used to be addicted to video games for a long time. Looking back I now realize it was a major coping mechanism for my shitty life. Now video games feel like work and I know they will not help me with creating a fulfilling life (if I decide to try).
I have 1 "friend" who I don't really like and he does stuff w me kind of. But it's never really enjoyable to hang around him.
All I do now is work 40 hours a week and come home and sleep or lie down in bed all day. I see a therapist once a week and I kind of look forward to it. I'm at the point where I'm curious to see what he could say to give me any hope. There's nothing realistically I can really do to fix my life so it's just amusing to see what he says when I know he's not allowed to agree that I should just end it.
Being social feels completely pointless. Everyone at my age and in my town has developed cliques. Everyone at my work is anti-social (I work in a lab). I don't really feel a genuine drive to do anything anyway - so if I joined a club or something no one would like my fake attitude.
I just feel that anything I do has no productive value to it. Nothing will make my life better - therefore it is unenjoyable. Learn to draw? Great - 5 years of extreme dedication to become good. It won't get you friends or a girlfriend or anything. Sometimes I workout but I also know that it isn't going to help me get a girlfriend really. At my age it's mostly personality/connections/social prowess/wealth. Just everything feels so ridiculously pointless...because it really is...at least in relation to my own life. No one wants to admit it though.
