Angry at yourself!

[TheDevilsAngel]

Is there anyone else who is angry at themselves more than others.... I find I tend to try be nice to others but constantly angry and disgusted at myself..... I always said I didn't hate my self but clearly I do.... I hate this person who is apparently me... I don't even know who she is most of the time..... Anyone else here experiencing this??

 

[a_strange_day]

Always felt like that. I hate myself. It started slowly at 13-14 and it has gotten worse over the years. I know perfectly what I am and I think that's why I hate myself so much. I hate my weakness, my lack of emotions, permanent anxiety, self destruction, my inability to cope etc... But I'm gonna stop there :)

 

[Circles]

Is there anyone else who is angry at themselves more than others.... I find I tend to try be nice to others but constantly angry and disgusted at myself..... I always said I didn't hate my self but clearly I do.... I hate this person who is apparently me... I don't even know who she is most of the time..... Anyone else here experiencing this??

Sorry you're experiencing these conflicting emotions. I'm the same the self hate becomes a bit too toxic at times, there's nothing worse than being you're own worst enemy. I critique everything I do before I do something and after doing something I criticize myself because it didn't go as smoothly according to how I planned. I can't even look at a mirror anymore unless I have to and when I do see myself in the mirror I don't see a person, I see nothing of any worth. I remember hearing somewhere "You can't fill a cup that's already full" and I just hate myself just a bit more that I can't undo what I've become.

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

Wow, I'm just so confused why it took me so long to figure this out.... I really understood what ye are saying and also think the same...... I hope someday we will feel ease to a certain degree.... But in reality I feel, speaking for myself that I'm doomed.... I'm here to rare my kids then leave again...

 

[CFLoser]

Yes. I'm not angry at others at all.

I look at myself and I see someone who is ugly both on the inside and outside.

I just got out of the shower at my grandparents house, I was looking at myself in the mirror a bit before.

My frame, long disgusting hair, bad posture, ugly nose and just ugly face in general. I look like a puppet or a goblin or just something really gross.

Not even mentioning how I am on the inside. I'm even uglier in there.

 

[Moonicide]

Yes, very much so.
No one can get as angry or hate me as such as myself. I'm my own personal bully.

 

[MeltingHeart]

I hate who I've become, didnt particularly like myself as a child (due to parental rejection) but wouldn't say I was angry at myself- then was just angry with life through teens/ twenties. Actually kind of learnt to like myself & life a little more in my 20s & early 30s- but never treated myself with enough care/self-respect that a mentally healthy person would do. Now I can't work out who I'm most angry at- myself- or the the people that made me feel this way- bit of both. Can't work out were sadness/ feeling very hurt & let down ends & bitterness/ anger begins.

 

[ReverendGreen]

I think I'm angry with who I am physically but frustrated with how I am mentally.

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

Everything that ever went wrong in my life is my own fault. I hate how I look and act, I hate my personality, my temper used to be horrendous. I hate waking up as myself.

 

[exhausted]

I hate how much I hate myself. I am so cruel. Better in than out, I suppose.

 

[freefrommybody]

Yeah, I feel disgusted of myself, sometimes to the point of nausea. I Iook around at my beautiful surroundings, and the lovely, bright, worthwhile people around me, and think that I'm a spec of filth on an otherwise well-set canvas. I wonder why I'm here, and want to clean myself away. I'm not very angry or frustrated about my patheticness anymore, however, since I'm coming up with a solution to deal with the problem of myself.

 

[Mort]

Is there anyone else who is angry at themselves more than others.... I find I tend to try be nice to others but constantly angry and disgusted at myself..... I always said I didn't hate my self but clearly I do.... I hate this person who is apparently me... I don't even know who she is most of the time..... Anyone else here experiencing this??

Hell yes i even bin knowing to beating my self up . I cant even stand to look in the mirror ond was a bad one i court myself in the mirror next thing i know I had pushed my hand through it cut my self badly . Yes i do hate my self with every fibre in my being .

 

[Final Escape]

Yea I've been a really terrible person :("

 

[almaranthine]

In the Christian religion there is this idea that one is "allowed" to hate sin(s), just not the sinner him/herself. I realize that I mentally practice this in regards to how I view myself. I hate the awful things that I have done in my life and the terrible decisions I've made. Consequently, I have more loathing and bitterness in my heart towards the actions themselves than simply directing all my hate towards me, myself as a general subject. Merely hating myself objectively isn't useful; I feel I have to hate each and every one of my "sins" so as to keep them alive in my mind if only for the purpose of avoiding more suffering in my life.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Same. I can't look at myself in the mirror. I can't look at pictures of me. Every time I see myself I want to die.

 

[Sensei]

Sometimes anger, but more often contempt and disappointment.

 

[Mr2005]

Jesus Christ yes. Wasted fifteen years because I couldn't click a mouse. It's impossible to feel anything less than worthless

 

[mediocre]

yes I'm angry at how stupid and niave I am. All of my decisions in life have been wrong. I can't do anything I have no skills. Nobody talks to me because they know there is no point. I'm too stupid to understand anything.

I am not surprised I ended up like this...

 

[Roberto]

Is there anyone else who is angry at themselves more than others.... I find I tend to try be nice to others but constantly angry and disgusted at myself..... I always said I didn't hate my self but clearly I do.... I hate this person who is apparently me... I don't even know who she is most of the time..... Anyone else here experiencing this??

I'm angry at myself. I'm not angry with anyone in this life. I can't remember with who I am angry. I feel myself stupid, retarded, incompetent, ugly, wrong, very wrong, most of the time wrong.egoistic, lazy, without initiative. I don't think, just feel. I'm like a roller coaster of emotions (these last months I've been more stable and quiet).I'm like a bomb inside a kitty appearance. I feel disappointment with myself. I feel everything is over.
I think I must be isolated.

 

[BPD Barbie]

I often get into fits of rage with myself and then think I need to punish myself. Smack myself round the head, cut, burn, talk smack to myself. Feels so overwhelming I can't control it.

 

[Roberto]

I often get into fits of rage with myself and then think I need to punish myself. Smack myself round the head, cut, burn, talk smack to myself. Feels so overwhelming I can't control it.

I use to insult myself. When I'm anxious I feel relief by thinking in cutting myself, but I never do it. Or I think about suicide with a katana sword or with a gun splashing my brain in pieces.

 

[mathieu]

Yes, I've hated myself for most of my life. I feel so angry for my flaws and mistake, of which there are so many.