Angry after CPR

[WEASEL1234]

I tried to CBT this month... succedded with heart stopping. Police broke in and gave me cpr now I am angry about it.
I was in intensive care for 3 weeks afterwards and felt ashamed that I was taking care away from more "worthy" causes.

 

[Thereisnothing]

Interested to know how Police knew and found you?
Angry as you are and would be, the Police wouldn't be carrying out their duty if they left you there and did nothing. Its a very hard one.
Three weeks in hospital, hope you got no long term damage, whatever the method you tried, always drawbacks. It wasn't you fault you got found so dont feel guilty about taking the hospital bed, although I can understand why you may feel like that. I even feel bad about having an appt with doctor.

 

[WEASEL1234]

Interested to know how Police knew and found you?
Angry as you are and would be, the Police wouldn't be carrying out their duty if they left you there and did nothing. Its a very hard one.
Three weeks in hospital, hope you got no long term damage, whatever the method you tried, always drawbacks. It wasn't you fault you got found so dont feel guilty about taking the hospital bed, although I can understand why you may feel like that. I even feel bad about having an appt with doctor.

My neighbour called the police when I didn't answer the door. It's all the feelings that have piled on since that I am struggling with... the fact that I wasn't meant to be here then lost my Mum last week

 

[Thereisnothing]

Much love to you on the loss of your mother. I lost my beloved Father just before Christmas, I am still, numb, shocked and in another realm. He was the last person who ever truly loved and cared about, I am alone now in the world. He and my beautiful mother were the only people who really loved me and without them both now and having so many health problems which make life very hard indeed, all sorts of abuse and crap from years and years of hurt from people............I am have got this place. I wish to go on from this life, yet same time just cant and dont have a method, I have tried a couple but not got far.

So was a neighbour called the Police. I rarely answer my door, people should be allowed that privacy of not having to go to door if they dont wish to without others interfering. It seems strange they called the Police, are you well known to the neighbour, would they have known how you were feeling, ie liable to attempt suicide?

All the feelings are like a neverending carousel aren't they and on occasion they get a tad better for mere second, then back on again full spin. I am sorry I cant be more help, but hoping that knowing I am listening and care will be a little thing.

 

[spanishguy22]

I tried to CBT this month... succedded with heart stopping. Police broke in and gave me cpr now I am angry about it.
I was in intensive care for 3 weeks afterwards and felt ashamed that I was taking care away from more "worthy" causes.

You went with SN right? And no brain damage or anything?

Sorry you got denied your way out...

 

[WEASEL1234]

Much love to you on the loss of your mother. I lost my beloved Father just before Christmas, I am still, numb, shocked and in another realm. He was the last person who ever truly loved and cared about, I am alone now in the world. He and my beautiful mother were the only people who really loved me and without them both now and having so many health problems which make life very hard indeed, all sorts of abuse and crap from years and years of hurt from people............I am have got this place. I wish to go on from this life, yet same time just cant and dont have a method, I have tried a couple but not got far.

So was a neighbour called the Police. I rarely answer my door, people should be allowed that privacy of not having to go to door if they dont wish to without others interfering. It seems strange they called the Police, are you well known to the neighbour, would they have known how you were feeling, ie liable to attempt suicide?

All the feelings are like a neverending carousel aren't they and on occasion they get a tad better for mere second, then back on again full spin. I am sorry I cant be more help, but hoping that knowing I am listening and care will be a little thing.

I am sorry to hear about your father. Nothing compares to the loss of a parent.
The police broke the door down. My neighbour is also a close friend and I hadn't contacted her so she callled the police.

You went with SN right? And no brain damage or anything?

Sorry you got denied your way out...

No, not SN. Suffocation with a bag.
Police broke the door down, I had locked it.

 

[asifkhanny12345]

What method???

 

[TheGoodGuy]

You should be angry they are literally forcing you to live, when people find other people who obviously has comitted suicide and decides to resuscitate them who are they to decide that the person has to live? It´s not like a guy who hanged himself etc. happened by accident it was obviously THEIR choice but pro-lifers think they have the right to decide if a person have to exist, yet these same people would ignore suicidal people in their every day life they would "save" suicidal people because THEY like life so everyone else should too that makes me so angry.

 

[Thereisnothing]

I am sorry to hear about your father. Nothing compares to the loss of a parent.
The police broke the door down. My neighbour is also a close friend and I hadn't contacted her so she callled the police.

No, not SN. Suffocation with a bag.
Police broke the door down, I had locked it.

Police can be a pain in the arse, although they were doing their duty. In past when suicidal I made mistake of going on FB and saying so, had Police round despite telling 'friends' just to respect my wishes.............I suppose your friend thought she was doing right thing, least you have a close friend, although I wonder how you feel about her now, you angry with her too?

 

[WEASEL1234]

You should be angry they are literally forcing you to live, when people find other people who obviously has comitted suicide and decides to resuscitate them who are they to decide that the person has to live? It´s not like a guy who hanged himself etc. happened by accident it was obviously THEIR choice but pro-lifers think they have the right to decide if a person have to exist, yet these same people would ignore suicidal people in their every day life they would "save" suicidal people because THEY like life so everyone else should too that makes me so angry.

As to exactly why I am on here with like minded people. I am completely calm and sane about my decision to end my life before it's natural conclusion. There's only so much that a person can go through in life before they can't see a future and I am there.

You went with SN right? And no brain damage or anything?

Sorry you got denied your way out...

No, not SN
Will do it again but I need to plan it better.

 

[TAW122]

I'm very sorry to hear about that @WEASEL1234 and I too, would be very angry too if that happened to me. I hope you cut your neighbor out of your life and also anyone that gives you shit for your failed attempt.

Part of my reasoning for going with the firearm is that (assuming I will aim correctly and do properly, which I will) there is very little chance of being saved once attempted and I would be dead long before they could even try to resuscitate or save me.

Anyways I hope you find peace in the future, whatever decision you decide to take.

 

[WEASEL1234]

It's the "do gooding" in people at the very END of the journey that we all take when even contemplating suicide. The word even has a negative reaction.
No one there to help for 2 years then all of a sudden "oh we need to help"... back to medication and once every 3 months to a psychiatrist. Why should I be FORCED to live an existence that I don't want anymore? If you have a pet..you would never let it suffer so out of LOVE you put to to sleep ffs!

I'm very sorry to hear about that @WEASEL1234 and I too, would be very angry too if that happened to me. I hope you cut your neighbor out of your life and also anyone that gives you shit for your failed attempt.

Part of my reasoning for going with the firearm is that (assuming I will aim correctly and do properly, which I will) there is very little chance of being saved once attempted and I would be dead long before they could even try to resuscitate or save me.

Anyways I hope you find peace in the future, whatever decision you decide to take.

I can't access a gun in UK so it may well be to jump.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I'm really sorry this happened to you. And ever so sorry about your mum. It's so harsh to lose someone close.
There's a saying I recall from somewhere or other...
If you save someone's life, you then become responsible for that person. Unfortunately they don't seem to see it like that. They'll stop your choice but leave you to fend for yourself afterwards, once they've tried to chemically fix your thinking.
If only they would help solve the problems that bring us here in the first place instead of trying to pharmaceutically brush them under the rug.

 

[WEASEL1234]

I'm really sorry this happened to you. And ever so sorry about your mum. It's so harsh to lose someone close.
There's a saying I recall from somewhere or other...
If you save someone's life, you then become responsible for that person. Unfortunately they don't seem to see it like that. They'll stop your choice but leave you to fend for yourself afterwards, once they've tried to chemically fix your thinking.
If only they would help solve the problems that bring us here in the first place instead of trying to pharmaceutically brush them under the rug.

Thankyou.
I split from my husband, lost my house that I bought, moved abroad, lost my job, mum had a stroke, lost my 23 year old cat, then lost my best friend,had to come back to uk then homeless and lost my mum 2 weeks ago..... all in 3 years and 4 months.

 

[Defenestrator]

Thankyou.
I split from my husband, lost my house that I bought, moved abroad, lost my job, mum had a stroke, lost my 23 year old cat, then lost my best friend,had to come back to uk then homeless and lost my mum 2 weeks ago..... all in 3 years and 4 months.

Shit, you've had a very rough few years it sounds like. I'm sorry to hear about your parents - It's one of my biggest fears but I know the day will come eventually, the longer I stay around, that my mum will go. I've already told my mum I'd follow not long behind her when she does go.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Thankyou.
I split from my husband, lost my house that I bought, moved abroad, lost my job, mum had a stroke, lost my 23 year old cat, then lost my best friend,had to come back to uk then homeless and lost my mum 2 weeks ago..... all in 3 years and 4 months.

That IS really rough. This may sound weird but... if you DIDN'T feel suicidal after all that, then there really would be something wrong with you! Try telling that to a shrink it'll confuse the mivoncks out of them.

 

[WEASEL1234]

That IS really rough. This may sound weird but... if you DIDN'T feel suicidal after all that, then there really would be something wrong with you! Try telling that to a shrink it'll confuse the mivoncks out of them.

Doesn't sound weird... that's exactly how I do feel.
Psychiatrists are an absolute shower of shit in my experience.

Shit, you've had a very rough few years it sounds like. I'm sorry to hear about your parents - It's one of my biggest fears but I know the day will come eventually, the longer I stay around, that my mum will go. I've already told my mum I'd follow not long behind her when she does go.

That's exactly how I felt... just don't want to wait around for my dad next. Nothing left my friend xx

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Psychiatrists are an absolute shower of shit in my experience.

Mine spends ten minutes NOT answering a simple yes/no question. He's like a politician. And he has the gall to say I have issues...

 

[WEASEL1234]

Mine spends ten minutes NOT answering a simple yes/no question. He's like a politician. And he has the gall to say I have issues...

Yep, same.
Was told last week "I think you're having a mid life crisis"..... nearly swung for her!!

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Yep, same.
Was told last week "I think you're having a mid life crisis"..... nearly swung for her!!

Haha yes. He asks me if I have violent tendencies. Well I didn't until I talked to him, now I do!

 

[WEASEL1234]

Haha yes. He asks me if I have violent tendencies. Well I didn't until I talked to him, now I do!

Yes it's tough. I can't believe these people are paid such high salaries to do what I perceive as nothing.
I had to collect all my letters, mobile phone and notebook in an evidence bag from the police station... that is tough let me tell you. I wasn't meant to be here to do that so I feel like I am living in limbo stuck betweeen this world and the next.

 

[porfin1234]

Thankyou.
I split from my husband, lost my house that I bought, moved abroad, lost my job, mum had a stroke, lost my 23 year old cat, then lost my best friend,had to come back to uk then homeless and lost my mum 2 weeks ago..... all in 3 years and 4 months.

Wow.. my heart goes out to you. I can't even imagine what that must be like...

 

[WEASEL1234]

Wow.. my heart goes out to you. I can't even imagine what that must be like...

Thankyou.... broken to bits

 

[Gratefulcorpse]

I tried to CBT this month... succedded with heart stopping. Police broke in and gave me cpr now I am angry about it.
I was in intensive care for 3 weeks afterwards and felt ashamed that I was taking care away from more "worthy" causes.

Sorry man

 

[WEASEL1234]

Sorry man

Thanks

 

[Lastsauce]

Yes it's tough. I can't believe these people are paid such high salaries to do what I perceive as nothing.

Psychology is not an exact science like mathematics.
Psychiatrists are able to "cure" some, are life boat to others and some clients they are not able to help at all.

 

[WEASEL1234]

Psychology is not an exact science like mathematics.
Psychiatrists are able to "cure" some, are life boat to others and some clients they are not able to help at all.

I am well aware of that. However, after 3 years of being given 10 minutes and ANOTHER prescription I disagree.

 

[Quarky00]

It's the "do gooding" in people at the very END of the journey that we all take when even contemplating suicide. No one there to help for 2 years then all of a sudden "oh we need to help"... back to medication and once every 3 months to a psychiatrist. Why should I be FORCED to live an existence that I don't want anymore?

Couldn't agree more! Perfectly described .

Just like you said . 10 minutes , take this , good luck .

 

[WEASEL1234]

Couldn't agree more! Perfectly described .

Just like you said . 10 minutes , take this , good luck .

Thankyou. Xx

 

[Quarky00]

He asks me if I have violent tendencies. Well I didn't until I talked to him, now I do!

Told THAT to my social worker today -- literally that -- and straight to their face , lol . (they panicked)

My psychiatrist asked if I made a will , told him "you don't need to be genius to understand those with nothing need no will" , and added "aren't you suppose to be smart, or something?" . He's kinda scared of me .

Another psychiatrist ask me to wait in a very crowded room (5m before told him I'm waiting outside, cannot do that) . I patted him on the shoulder like a puppy , and laughed: "Oh you're so silly today! I have severe anxiety, remember? .. You clearly need more training" . He looked at me angry and run away .