Venting And they wonder why I'm losing weight

[NightmareTour]

So, for once this morning I start to feel hungry. It doesn't happen often because of my meds.

I think about asking my stepdad to help me out, because I struggle with things like making food and carrying stuff around. He's around the house all day because he doesn't work and only really needs to take my mum to and from work. He's asleep though, and I don't want to wake him up because he'll just scream at me for asking him to do anything.

So I head downstairs to try to sort myself some food out and sit down there or something. I check the fridge for something easy to make, it's empty because my brother got excluded from school again and all he does in his free time is inhale everything edible within a mile radius, despite being completely aware that there's no money and it means nobody else gets to eat. I check the freezer, find something I can make.

Open the oven, and there's nothing clean to put it on. Check the cupboard, there's not even baking paper to cover up a dirty tray. There aren't any plates either, anyway. I can't carry things to or from the dishwasher, where everything probably is, so I give up and put it away. I can't afford to order anything because I give my family all of my money for bills and the food my brother stuffs down his throat.

I have some paper plates stashed in my room, so I go back up to get one so I can eat some buttered bread or something. My stepdad distracts me by complaining that I'm making too much noise before going back to sleep, and I forget the plate. I only realise what I was meant to be getting by the time I'm down the stairs. By the time I get back up, I feel too sick to even think about food, and spend 10 minutes trying not to throw up. Guess at least I'm not hungry anymore?

Moving back in with my family was a mistake. Should have signed up for professional care or something.

 

[summers]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Is there any way you could get one of those really small refrigerators/freezers and keep it in your room. Then you could at least keep some frozen food on hand and heat it in the microwave when you're hungry?

 

[Sherri]

I lost 30kg when my depression first came. That's when I knew I had to go to a doctor to sign me off work for a while. I was about to become a skeleton.

 

[summers]

I lost 30kg when my depression first came. That's when I knew I had to go to a doctor to sign me off work for a while. I was about to become a skeleton.

OMG, 30kg is so much! I hope you were able to recover at least some of that.

 

[Sherri]

OMG, 30kg is so much! I hope you were able to recover at least some of that.

I did a bit, everyone at work was very worried with me. My uniform was falling down my body. Took 6 months off.

 

[Arvinneedstodie]

Your situation sounds horrible, i wish I can help you somehow. When I was 18/19, I struggled with very similar issues. Now my stomach is sick due to autoimmune issues, so food and being underweight have always been challenging for me. Dealing with all that stuff on top of mental issues is hopeless.

What do you think can be done about this situation? Do you have a therapist who you can talk to about all this? Are you guys getting food assistance from local food banks? If you continue to struggle with food, maybe you should just ask your therapist for help.

 

[summers]

Your situation sounds horrible, i wish I can help you somehow. When I was 18/19, I struggled with very similar issues. Now my stomach is sick due to autoimmune issues, so food and being underweight have always been challenging for me. Dealing with all that stuff on top of mental issues is hopeless.

What do you think can be done about this situation? Do you have a therapist who you can talk to about all this? Are you guys getting food assistance from local food banks? If you continue to struggle with food, maybe you should just ask your therapist for help.

Also, a nutritionist may be able to help.

 

[NightmareTour]

Getting pretty much any medical or mental health help is proving impossible. I've been putting off trying to seek help for my mental health at the moment to deal with my physical health, but I'm not achieving a whole lot there either.

This medication isn't meant to be making me so ill, but even though I've explained more times than I can count that the nausea and issues with my vision started days after I started taking this medication, I've been sent to an eye doctor, I've been sent for blood tests to check my liver function, pretty much anything but accepting that there's an issue with the medication. As for the rest of my health, literally all I have to go on is basically "Yeah, your MRI showed that you have brain damage, but that's not much different to the scans from 10 years ago that we didn't show or explain to you. Guess you'll have to just keep dealing with it."

Im trying my best to eat sensibly when I can, but it's hard when money is this bad, and I'm pretty sure I won't get help if I ask. My GP already knows that I'm losing a ton of weight, and I was on the very edge of the healthy range to start with, but she seems to give zero fucks and just wants me to continue going up to the dose of meds I'm meant to reach.

I have a mini fridge in my room, which kind of helps if I have anything to put in it, but I got downgraded to the box room while I was gone so there's no room for a freezer or anything like that.

 

[umbrellaphone]

Those 'professionals' can be so heartless. I hope your condition can get better one way or another. Take care.

 

[Gnip]

If you are being starved, you may be the victim of a crime. If that's the case, you are not to blame, not responsible for it, and can't be punished (or at least shouldn't be).

 

[NightmareTour]

If you are being starved, you may be the victim of a crime. If that's the case, you are not to blame, not responsible for it, and can't be punished (or at least shouldn't be).

I don't know if I'd describe it as being starved, I still get food in the evenings when everyone else eats, and usually that's enough for me. It's pretty normal for just the smell of food to make me heave for most of the day. It's horrible not having help throughout the day like I probably need when I do actually get hungry, and my brother is just straight up selfish, but I don't know if I could call it a crime.