Noctis
I wish I'd done it years ago
- Dec 15, 2021
- 308
Note: This is written from the perspective of a US citizen. Referenced policies may not apply to other countries.
To Whom It May Concern,
I understand that you support the efforts of congress members Lori Trahan, David Cicilline, Kathy Castor, Tony Cárdenas, David McKinley, Susan Wild, Mark DeSaulnier and countless other who want to close the doors on the website known as Sanctioned Suicide. That's great! We share a common goal in that we all would love nothing more than to see the end of suicide. However, while you are attempting to do so with fascist force and government overreach, I'd prefer to do it with compassion and help. You see, a website like Sanctioned Suicide is a hydra; for every domain that you shut down, two more will pop up in its place. As long as there are people who want to educate themselves on how to die the way they want to, they will always find a way to congregate and share their ideas and stories.
Now, there are lots of reasons a person may want to end their own life. Some have been diagnosed with a terminal illness and understand there is no hope for improvement; just a slow decline into ineptitude. Some have faced some sort of abuse or trauma and cannot handle these thoughts and memories. And some just suffer the effects of mental illness and are tired of living every single day in pain. Shutting down a website will not prevent these people from wanting to take their life, but there are ways that would. If we allowed doctor-assisted suicide, we would no longer have a need to find ways to buy lethal doses of barbiturates through the black market. If we took mental health more seriously, we wouldn't have young adults looking for answers on a website where everyone talks about how they want to die. You cannot end people discussing suicide without ending their desperation that caused them to consider suicide.
Case in point? The earliest recorded suicide was in the 6th century BC. Since the internet is considered to be created in the early 1980's, you can't hold the internet responsible for the millions of suicides that took place before then. We all know of easy ways to kill ourselves. No one makes it through high school these days without learning about slitting your wrists in a warm bath. Kurt Cobain didn't need a website to tell him what happens when shotgun meets brain. Robin Williams tied a noose without instructions from the internet. Even Cleopatra managed to poison herself without using a computer. The bottom line that you refuse to see is that suicide existed long before there was a website that allowed users to openly discuss it, and it'll persist long after said website is scrubbed from the internet. At the very worst, Sanctioned Suicide exists to help suicidal people find an easier and pain-free to do what so many people have already done: end their life the way they want at the time they want. Nobody stumbles upon the website by accident. No one is forced to create an account and participate in the forums. Everyone is there because they are unhappy, they're desperate, they find themselves without answers, and they sought out a website where they could openly talk to other people who understand their pain.
Now, I can already hear you counter with your practiced and rehearsed phrases: "But, the suicide hotline exists to help those people!" and "They need medical help, not instructions on how to end their life!" or even my favorite, "That website feeds upon the most vulnerable of our society!" Now, there's a lot to unpack here, but let's walk through it one step at a time. First, the suicide hotline. Have you ever called the suicide hotline? Have you ever felt that your life was so meaningless that you would call a stranger just for the hope that they would give you a reason to live? Because I have. I wrapped my lips around a shotgun and sat there with my finger on the trigger for a good ten minutes, unable to move, until I gave up and called the suicide hotline with the taste of oiled steel still in my mouth. After talking to the gentleman on the other line for about 15 minutes, I learned two things that night: the suicide hotline is absolutely useless, and it takes more than 36 antidepressants to kill you. That's right; immediately after calling the phone number dedicated to preventing suicide, I took the rest of my prescribed meds and waited for a death that never came. I'm sure there are many people that are thankful for that hotline and found it very helpful. But for every success story, I can find three disgruntled people who think it's a joke. The people on the other end of the line are instructed to not reveal any personal information about themselves; he wasn't even allowed to tell me his first name. Now, regardless of whether or not he understood what I was going through, he was completely unable to commiserate or connect with me, and that's all I wanted at that time. You know who I was able to connect with, share stories with, and talk about our experiences together? That's right. Other suicidal people. In addition, a lot of people with registered accounts on Sanctioned Suicide suffer from anxiety or guarded personalities and talking to anyone about their feelings is scarier than the business end of a gun. Allowing us a place to vent and complain and listen to each other and support each other is so much easier to do when we're anonymously behind a keyboard in the safety of our own room. If you take that away, how many people are just going to get a gun, or jump from a building, or hang from a noose because they feel like help is inaccessible to them? I don't know either, but we all know it's a nonzero number.
On to medical help. The recurring argument I hear is that suicidal people need medical help, and not a forum that enables their way of thinking, and I couldn't agree more. Unfortunately, medical care, and especially care for mental health, remains criminally inaccessible to much of the country, but I don't see any NYT article about how it cost over $2,000 just to get an evaluation from a psychiatrist. So how is someone living paycheck to paycheck (like most Americans) supposed to get the medical help they need to improve their life when it cost more than a month of wages just to walk in the door? I'll give you some time to ponder that. Get back to me when you figure it out, because I would REALLY like some help with this one.
Next up is the vulnerable people. Websites like Sanctioned Suicide feed on the most vulnerable people and convince them to end their life prematurely. An interesting take, considering no one is breaking into people's homes, putting a gun to their head, and forcing them to register for a website that openly discusses suicide. Everyone who is here is here voluntarily. We're all here because we're desperate, lonely, miserable, and we're tired of not being able to find answers anywhere else. Society has failed us. None of us joined this website because we were a bright beacon of sunshine and happiness. You want to make sure the website goes away forever? Then make it so no one ever feels like it's the only place that has answers.
Sanctioned Suicide is more than a website to many of us. Like so many others, I joined with the complete intention to die. What I found was a community. A community of people who understood what I was going through. A community of people that didn't get uncomfortable and email me the link to the suicide hotline when I told everyone I hated my life. This is a community that tries its damndest to support everyone else, even while we each feel like our own life is in ruin. This is a place where we can vent without judgement. To some of us, this website that you want to shut down is the sole reason we're still here. And you want to take that away. For what? What end could you possibly be pursuing in your relentless attack on us and the forums we frequent? Now, I would love nothing more than to live in a society that was free from all suicide. I honestly wish this was a utopian society where everyone was happy, everyone lived their life to the fullest, and no one ever wanted to end their stay on the mortal coil early. Until that happens your actions are, at best, putting a tiny bandage on a festering and gangrenous wound and do nothing to address the problem. At worst, they are a malicious attack on our first amendment right to peaceably assemble without a shred of regard for the consequences.
To Whom It May Concern,
I understand that you support the efforts of congress members Lori Trahan, David Cicilline, Kathy Castor, Tony Cárdenas, David McKinley, Susan Wild, Mark DeSaulnier and countless other who want to close the doors on the website known as Sanctioned Suicide. That's great! We share a common goal in that we all would love nothing more than to see the end of suicide. However, while you are attempting to do so with fascist force and government overreach, I'd prefer to do it with compassion and help. You see, a website like Sanctioned Suicide is a hydra; for every domain that you shut down, two more will pop up in its place. As long as there are people who want to educate themselves on how to die the way they want to, they will always find a way to congregate and share their ideas and stories.
Now, there are lots of reasons a person may want to end their own life. Some have been diagnosed with a terminal illness and understand there is no hope for improvement; just a slow decline into ineptitude. Some have faced some sort of abuse or trauma and cannot handle these thoughts and memories. And some just suffer the effects of mental illness and are tired of living every single day in pain. Shutting down a website will not prevent these people from wanting to take their life, but there are ways that would. If we allowed doctor-assisted suicide, we would no longer have a need to find ways to buy lethal doses of barbiturates through the black market. If we took mental health more seriously, we wouldn't have young adults looking for answers on a website where everyone talks about how they want to die. You cannot end people discussing suicide without ending their desperation that caused them to consider suicide.
Case in point? The earliest recorded suicide was in the 6th century BC. Since the internet is considered to be created in the early 1980's, you can't hold the internet responsible for the millions of suicides that took place before then. We all know of easy ways to kill ourselves. No one makes it through high school these days without learning about slitting your wrists in a warm bath. Kurt Cobain didn't need a website to tell him what happens when shotgun meets brain. Robin Williams tied a noose without instructions from the internet. Even Cleopatra managed to poison herself without using a computer. The bottom line that you refuse to see is that suicide existed long before there was a website that allowed users to openly discuss it, and it'll persist long after said website is scrubbed from the internet. At the very worst, Sanctioned Suicide exists to help suicidal people find an easier and pain-free to do what so many people have already done: end their life the way they want at the time they want. Nobody stumbles upon the website by accident. No one is forced to create an account and participate in the forums. Everyone is there because they are unhappy, they're desperate, they find themselves without answers, and they sought out a website where they could openly talk to other people who understand their pain.
Now, I can already hear you counter with your practiced and rehearsed phrases: "But, the suicide hotline exists to help those people!" and "They need medical help, not instructions on how to end their life!" or even my favorite, "That website feeds upon the most vulnerable of our society!" Now, there's a lot to unpack here, but let's walk through it one step at a time. First, the suicide hotline. Have you ever called the suicide hotline? Have you ever felt that your life was so meaningless that you would call a stranger just for the hope that they would give you a reason to live? Because I have. I wrapped my lips around a shotgun and sat there with my finger on the trigger for a good ten minutes, unable to move, until I gave up and called the suicide hotline with the taste of oiled steel still in my mouth. After talking to the gentleman on the other line for about 15 minutes, I learned two things that night: the suicide hotline is absolutely useless, and it takes more than 36 antidepressants to kill you. That's right; immediately after calling the phone number dedicated to preventing suicide, I took the rest of my prescribed meds and waited for a death that never came. I'm sure there are many people that are thankful for that hotline and found it very helpful. But for every success story, I can find three disgruntled people who think it's a joke. The people on the other end of the line are instructed to not reveal any personal information about themselves; he wasn't even allowed to tell me his first name. Now, regardless of whether or not he understood what I was going through, he was completely unable to commiserate or connect with me, and that's all I wanted at that time. You know who I was able to connect with, share stories with, and talk about our experiences together? That's right. Other suicidal people. In addition, a lot of people with registered accounts on Sanctioned Suicide suffer from anxiety or guarded personalities and talking to anyone about their feelings is scarier than the business end of a gun. Allowing us a place to vent and complain and listen to each other and support each other is so much easier to do when we're anonymously behind a keyboard in the safety of our own room. If you take that away, how many people are just going to get a gun, or jump from a building, or hang from a noose because they feel like help is inaccessible to them? I don't know either, but we all know it's a nonzero number.
On to medical help. The recurring argument I hear is that suicidal people need medical help, and not a forum that enables their way of thinking, and I couldn't agree more. Unfortunately, medical care, and especially care for mental health, remains criminally inaccessible to much of the country, but I don't see any NYT article about how it cost over $2,000 just to get an evaluation from a psychiatrist. So how is someone living paycheck to paycheck (like most Americans) supposed to get the medical help they need to improve their life when it cost more than a month of wages just to walk in the door? I'll give you some time to ponder that. Get back to me when you figure it out, because I would REALLY like some help with this one.
Next up is the vulnerable people. Websites like Sanctioned Suicide feed on the most vulnerable people and convince them to end their life prematurely. An interesting take, considering no one is breaking into people's homes, putting a gun to their head, and forcing them to register for a website that openly discusses suicide. Everyone who is here is here voluntarily. We're all here because we're desperate, lonely, miserable, and we're tired of not being able to find answers anywhere else. Society has failed us. None of us joined this website because we were a bright beacon of sunshine and happiness. You want to make sure the website goes away forever? Then make it so no one ever feels like it's the only place that has answers.
Sanctioned Suicide is more than a website to many of us. Like so many others, I joined with the complete intention to die. What I found was a community. A community of people who understood what I was going through. A community of people that didn't get uncomfortable and email me the link to the suicide hotline when I told everyone I hated my life. This is a community that tries its damndest to support everyone else, even while we each feel like our own life is in ruin. This is a place where we can vent without judgement. To some of us, this website that you want to shut down is the sole reason we're still here. And you want to take that away. For what? What end could you possibly be pursuing in your relentless attack on us and the forums we frequent? Now, I would love nothing more than to live in a society that was free from all suicide. I honestly wish this was a utopian society where everyone was happy, everyone lived their life to the fullest, and no one ever wanted to end their stay on the mortal coil early. Until that happens your actions are, at best, putting a tiny bandage on a festering and gangrenous wound and do nothing to address the problem. At worst, they are a malicious attack on our first amendment right to peaceably assemble without a shred of regard for the consequences.
