Venting An irritating thing my immediate family does at every opportunity: Bringing up my past

[DetachedDreamer97]

Part of the reason I wish to die is that my family won't ever allow me to live down my past, especially with everything they believe I did is FUCKING INACCURATE. I did NOT pull a knife at age 13 on my Nana that day when I had a belt whipping! I had the knife to try cutting myself.

I did not hit my grandmother that day when she tried to throw me out the house. I was about to leave and gather my stuff when she kept manhandling me and I kept trying to push her off of me or yank my hand free when she grabbed my wrist. I had a cup of applesauce in my hand, which went all over the place in the process. And the final time she kept coming at me, I pushed her forcefully enough to have her fall back. I did not approach her, I stopped, being that I didn't mean to knock her over!

I did not steal her 20 bucks from her purse, back in elementary school! I've earned that money, drawing for other students during indoor recess from Louisa, whom I didn't know her name at the time. "Are you calling your grandfather a liar?" I only gave in so he wouldn't beat my ass!

I'm sick of it. The fact they fucking believe this shit is a demonstration for their unwillingness to listen to me, as evidenced by their aggression when I tell them how wrong they are. So, they fucking make me out to be this evil, manipulative child, when I'm not... especially around people. This is part of the reason I don't want to get involved with girlfriends and shit... or anyone. Or why I cannot find happiness.

Seems that the only way these deluded fucks will ever listen, is if I have them at gunpoint or beat down the alpha gorilla since "OH, NATE, YOU HAVE TO EARN YOUR RIGHT TO BE LISTENED TO, TO DEFEND AND STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!" Ha! When will that be by your standards? Fuck you!!!

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

What a fucked up family. I feel for you. What they're doing is classic gaslighting -- creating a different reality than what happened, and being crazy-making.

My parents used to tell inaccurate stories about me, too, but nothing so extreme as the stories about you. It was utterly frustrating, like simultaneously impotent and full of rage. It pisses me off when someone tells a story other than what happened, when they get to create a reality that simply wasn't.

I assume you are not in a position to get away from them and go no contact. Is there no way to even have a long-term plan that you can make happen in steps? It would at least make things more bearable and give you some self-power, knowing escape and freedom would happen in the future.

I feel for you that their narcissistic, controlling and gaslighting behaviors make you want to end your own existence. With such people, sometimes it seems that suicide is the only way out, and whether intentionally or not, they can push for that outcome.

I'm so sorry you go through this. You have my empathy.

 

[DetachedDreamer97]

What a fucked up family. I feel for you. What they're doing is classic gaslighting -- creating a different reality than what happened, and being crazy-making.

My parents used to tell inaccurate stories about me, too, but nothing so extreme as the stories about you. It was utterly frustrating, like simultaneously impotent and full of rage. It pisses me off when someone tells a story other than what happened, when they get to create a reality that simply wasn't.

I assume you are not in a position to get away from them and go no contact. Is there no way to even have a long-term plan that you can make happen in steps? It would at least make things more bearable and give you some self-power, knowing escape and freedom would happen in the future.

I feel for you that their narcissistic, controlling and gaslighting behaviors make you want to end your own existence. With such people, sometimes it seems that suicide is the only way out, and whether intentionally or not, they can push for that outcome.

I'm so sorry you go through this. You have my empathy.

Yes! That is exactly what they're doing.

I'm sorry you deal with that as well. That's exactly how I feel. Just violently angry.

I no longer live with them, however I moved with my mom (at her insistence) after getting into it when I finally snapped at my grandfather when he did it. It would've been an actual fight if it weren't for us being held back. Unfortunately, mom ended up pulling that shit on me when talking to her fiancé's mother. So, I'm no out of it. I would've defended myself about it, but I don't want her knowing my issues. Couldn't sleep at all that night, thinking about it. Honestly, it'll be a good while before I can escape, which that is something I probably won't have.

Thank you!