Discussion An important theory about the nature of humanity (including those who wish to die.)

[dreaming_of_pearl]

Introduction/Prolog
As long as I could remember I have always told the people around me that I was born to suffer and die. I was unaware how to explain this, usually I would babble something and people would go "no that's silly" but I knew I had a somewhat more detailed theory then what I could come up with on the spot. People say my ideas are nonsense when it comes to this, perhaps I do not understand due to a mix of autism,adhd,bpd, and being a complete shut in due to rejection from previous listings.
I'm putting this here because people should be allowed to freely discuss things like death and suicide without stigma or pushback. I don't ever want to encourage people to commit suicide when there is a way out, with that in mind, sometimes people end up in situations where it is cruel to take death as an option a way, (EX: lifelong terminal illness with poor quality of life, paying penance for unforgivable acts against others, continued degradation of life quality despite numerous treatment attempts and many other things) Death should NEVER be a first option but a last option when all else fails and if it would truely be the kind option to the well-being of the individual, nobody is obligated to live after all especially if it is horrific its our bodies and we should have the overall say on what happens if we see fit.

with all of this being said I will now give you my theory and idea from my perspective on life. **The disclaimer is mostly for if people outside of the site find this and start to take this as I am promoting people to commit I just believe people are entitled to their bodies I used to be anti no matter what but reading about this topic from all perspectives I feel like it makes sense that we are at the end entitled to what happens to us**

7/7/23: Human existence is a story. human experience is a book, is a movie. Is a breathtaking special from the echos of the cosmos and/or a higher power.

Books, movies, games all attempts from us humans, acting as mini Gods, to write our own story and universes (who knows these mini universes we make are probably sentient somewhere since we are technically miniature versions of the divine whatever they may be) When we peer into these worlds we focus on a small part of them and/or the main characters and plot of the narrative.

But, what makes the game the performance feel alive? What makes It feel full?

The background characters.

The people living their own unique lives even if we only see them once. It makes the world feel so full and together. These characters sure have a duty to fill that they do fill eventually but for most of the time they exist having their own adventure, hence why so many people say they are the main character. Because In a sense your perspective living as you in the first person in your body, you are the main character for your side narrative.

8/14/23: When you play a game like cyberpunk or spider man for example your going to watch as npcs live their lives even when you arnt there they will still continue to live and have events happen to them both good and bad. They form connections with other npcs, and live life and at some point, die. Mabye it's when the story ends or mabye it's when they get hit by another npcs car. But regardless of how they die it will trigger something else to happen, a person to become aggressive, an event to take place, a rare billboard highlighting a tragic event or suicide that will be looked at.

I belived since I was around 8 or 9 that I am one of those npcs that in the end will die via suicide or a tragic death, the one on the street breaking down that you only see once in a blue moon I never knew how to articulate this into words to somone because of my disability. But I firmly believe I was a bit more self aware then a lot of people in the sense that when I'm in a room with people I step out of my own body and gaze upon the scene infront of me and at myself. And when this happens I cannot help but fear a horrible fate for her for me. It was written into the code of my being, it's like a virus that is running in the backround of my code tab. When I'm around others and we are all happy I will try to conceal this. To hide this. But I can only do so much I gaze at my surroundings and feel so much pain. I deeply wish that others could see the potential they hold and pause the world like I do. To see what they really are inside weather it be good or bad I believe this is a blessing yet a curse to have this knowledge.

10/26/23 update: I truely wish and to an extent beliveI could change this fate. I want to I promised I would try so therefore I am, I am seeing outpatient therapy at the time I am editing this one final time. I've been told so much hope but it is so hard to shake because I feel the inevitable will sneak up on me when I least expect it and that I fear. I will not attempt suicide despite my yearn of it because I want to prove to the world that this code, simulation and this fate is changeable to an extent. I pray to the universe that I am able to change it I have hope of it too

My hope is combatant by my defeat and I must admit seeing how my actions and how I feel affects others shatters my hope, I want to be accountable for my actions, and seeing I have not changed at all for the Better fully makes me belive the fate is truely set in stone, and by a phrase my mother and others have said to me: you either do or you don't their is no try And to that my heart breaks because what about the people who tried and failed. Did they not attempt at all. But I digress I have hope, for the wellbeing of my girlfriend and For the hope I can prove to other people we can change the matrix. I believe I can change this, please manifest for me.

 

[Scythe]

Very interesting prespective, and yeah, NPC all have a role, big or small, maybe they are your partner that helps you throughout your playthrough, or simply to fill the space and give the world some life. Good luck on your adventure to beat the system, I believe fate or whatever is always changable. You can be accountable for your actions, try to fix your wrongs and remember just as how you easily negatively affect others, you just as easily positively affect others. You also remind me of a fictional character who believes in inescapable fate, yet she still gave everything her best shot despite believing no matter what she did the outcome is the same.

I suppose I relate in some way as well in terms of trying to escape fate. The fate society set out for me, to get a job, work, then die. I watched people around me go into work and talk about how miserable they are, and that is the fate society has set for me and most other humans. However I see that it doesn't have to be this way, I can choose death. In death, I will be free, I will escape whatever fate society laid down for me.