Story Am i wrong for this?

[BornToFail]

Hi
Forgive me if this is a disjointed post but I want to get this off my mind. A year ago now I met this girl off of 4chan. She added my tag for some reason. I was mainly looking for friends to go shooting with. We started talking and had some things in common. She was 18 and I was 19 turning 20 super soon. We both had sad lives and she seemed kind and has struggles like me. She was a good friend. She seems to like me which I pick up on very soon. I decide to ask her I'd She does and she says yes. I think she is sweet but I feel like she is too young and we both haves issues in the back of my mind. After becoming a couple things go downhill. She opens up the floodgates by talking about her mental illness. I open up to her because I care but do so slowly. She notices and gets upset that I seem closed off. This is a frequent issue with us that comes up, and she begs me to her more of the creepy things I do. She looked at all my social media posts, told me she would kms if we broke up. I make up something about touching myself to her pics. Afterwards, I feel entitled to become toxic because in my immaturity I believe so is she.


I end up feeling entitled to spam call her and and text a lot like she texted. This leads to her losing interest. I end up breaking down mentally and going to the hospital after she breaks up with me. She often asked me to open up about my dark thoughts and promised she would not judge. After getting out of the hospital we get back together. We end up fighting and she breaks up with me again. I feel suicidal and tell her how heartbroken I am. This leads her to go to the hospital. She comes out and I feel so guilty. I end up deleting her because of guilt and other feelings. At some point we make up and she tells me she blamed me for her being in the hospital. I eat that but resent it because I never told her my mental state was her fault. We made up, went our separate ways but I know she blames me. She has a bf and will hopefully get off probation. I feel terrible for causing her pain but I know she probably does not care about our former friendship.





So I just feel stupid for talking to her even when I knew she was too into me early on, and when I knew she would lose feelings, and when I knew she would blame me after pressuring ne to reveal private info to her and that if we broke up she'd kill herself. I think this one hurts because I valued our friendship but I think she was lonely and did not care about me much. I wish we were just friends we both would have been better off but it hurts that she got me to open up only to tell my private info to my mum and her friend. She is now into the same Twitter circles I am in so I am scared of her telling drama. I can't even use the website I like anymore because I feel she might doxx me. I feel I always held a standard she did not. I didn't even want to give my address to her but did. I deleted hers asap. I never told her private info. It just hurts that she is in a bad spot because of me.




Well, this is all on phone and I just want to get this off my chest. The guilt.
I rushed this on my phone. Typos and bad grammar are surely here. I just feel this tremendous guilt for this.

I don't know why, I mean I am a person who can harbor grudges, be immature, but I feel bad for this one. I think because I kind of saw herself in me. And like I could have gave her advice. I am not even 2 years older than her but I guess I felt like she was a kid. I wish I could have given her better words as a friend. I also feel unsafe in my online space. She has my twitter which she wanted but I did not want to give to anyone who knew my name and stuff, also seen my YouTube. I don't really think she is that kind of person in general, but I remember her saying if I did something stupid she "would be kind of proud that an ex did something"

So I feel in general if I get views and attention it might be possible. I would even attack back, it just is embarrassing for me and sad. I can say I did know better, so I just. ah, it sucks.

 

[chuerdhmproton]

wow that was quite a read. It seems like both you and her were not emotionally equipped to get into a relationship. Best thing to do now is probably cut contact and move on, ignore her threats to dox you because she is simply trying to control you, even if she does expose your personal details after cutting contact, it is not as bad as having to endure a toxic person in your life long term. good luck my friend, try to learn from this experience and be more careful to get into relationships in the future

 

[BornToFail]

wow that was quite a read. It seems like both you and her were not emotionally equipped to get into a relationship. Best thing to do now is probably cut contact and move on, ignore her threats to dox you because she is simply trying to control you, even if she does expose your personal details after cutting contact, it is not as bad as having to endure a toxic person in your life long term. good luck my friend, try to learn from this experience and be more careful to get into relationships in the future

She never threatened to dox. We are not in contact and left on a good note. Just feel such guilt.

 

[backtoearth]

This is a really tough situation, sending love to you <3

It seems like it was a toxic relationship, you were young and both struggling mentally which can lead to situations where you hurt each other without really wanting to. She should not have threatened to khs if you broke up, or pushed you to do things you weren't fully comfortable with - those things are not your fault. Maybe you did not react perfectly but in a situation like that pressure and emotions are high so I truly would not blame you for what happened. It really does suck when things play out badly but if you made up, and are comfortable just being amicable with her, then I would encourage you to try to move on and leave the relationship behind you.

I understand how guilt can eat you alive but I honestly don't think you're at fault here, you weren't that much older than her and was in what seems like a manipulative environment. Try to leave it in the past and focus on your own life <3

 

[Microwave]

She used you, manipulated you, and made you feel bad, and now you are justifiably angry.

Keep your distance from her, she does not sound like she is a good person to have around, even if you want to believe that she is. Women can be far more dangerous to men than they seem.

You and her are both kids just as much as each other, so don't feel like you had any obligation to look after her or whatever. Anything you did for her, she should be grateful for (even though she clearly isn't). Also, she has clearly violated your boundaries. You did not and do not owe her anything.

Just because someone else is vulnerable too it doesn't mean that they won't use your vulnerability against you. If anything, they're more likely to.

Women will often take advantage of men, because they know they can. Don't be fooled by the convoluted 'woke' narative of female empowerment (entitlement) that is prevelant today. Many people (mostly women but men too) will act like it is self-evident, but it is not, and it will not serve you in the slightest.

You're actually better off without her. Moreover, relationships in general are over-rated (they won't save you) and, tbh, this one sounds like it stinks.

Don't let her be your number one. Only you deserve that spot.

---

Don't meet people off 4chan.

 

[BornToFail]

She used you, manipulated you, and made you feel bad, and now you are justifiably angry.

Keep your distance from her, she does not sound like she is a good person to have around, even if you want to believe that she is. Women can be far more dangerous to men than they seem.

You and her are both kids just as much as each other, so don't feel like you had any obligation to look after her or whatever. Anything you did for her, she should be grateful for (even though she clearly isn't). Also, she has clearly violated your boundaries. You did not and do not owe her anything.

Just because someone else is vulnerable too it doesn't mean that they won't use your vulnerability against you. If anything, they're more likely to.

Women will often take advantage of men, because they know they can. Don't be fooled by the convoluted 'woke' narative of female empowerment (entitlement) that is prevelant today. Many people (mostly women but men too) will act like it is self-evident, but it is not, and it will not serve you in the slightest.

You're actually better off without her. Moreover, relationships in general are over-rated (they won't save you) and, tbh, this one sounds like it stinks.

Don't let her be your number one. Only you deserve that spot.

---

Don't meet people off 4chan.

I don't think about her in terms of missing us being together. I didn't have much fun and I got involved with her knowing I did not really need a relationship at that time. She was nice, but I felt that we were not going to work because of mental issues. I regret that I did irreparable damage to her mental health.

To be more clear, I don't care about looks, race, appearance in general. Age, the woman being older to me is my only must have. Strange I know, but I felt predatory for even talking to her, though I was 1 year and 6 months older than her only. It just felt strange, not inline with morals but I did not want to hurt her feelings as I feel we both saw the worst in people. We would have been great friends I think, so I feel sad and mourn the lost friendship. I don't know, it was all online but we talked on the phone and stuff I never did that with anyone except my two first close online friends. It reminded me of that.

 

[Microwave]

I don't think about her in terms of missing us being together. I didn't have much fun and I got involved with her knowing I did not really need a relationship at that time. She was nice, but I felt that we were not going to work because of mental issues. I regret that I did irreparable damage to her mental health.

To be more clear, I don't care about looks, race, appearance in general. Age, the woman being older to me is my only must have. Strange I know, but I felt predatory for even talking to her, though I was 1 year and 6 months older than her only. It just felt strange, not inline with morals but I did not want to hurt her feelings as I feel we both saw the worst in people. We would have been great friends I think, so I feel sad and mourn the lost friendship. I don't know, it was all online but we talked on the phone and stuff I never did that with anyone except my two first close online friends. It reminded me of that.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

 

[BornToFail]

I wouldn't even attack back is what I mean. I was on phone for this. She had kind traits, I just get nervous.