Well if you are indeed a shitty person, I give you props for acknowledging it. Almost all the time shitty people are not introspective and don't acknowledge their own faults or mistakes. You can try to change not just for sake of the others but also for yourself. Gonna be sad existence if you gonna be a miserable prick forever. I think in life you can either be happy or miserable and it takes a lot more effort to be happy. Being cynical asshole is easy. In life, a person can either be blessed or cursed and you gotta ingratiate yourself with the universe, so to speak, if you wanna have a change at being blessed. But who am I to say anything, after all I ended up in this wretched place, you know.
Problem is I don't really care I'm a shitty person. The best i do is not take it to far. The shottiest thing Ive done by far is drag an innocent animal along with me. At first I didn't even feel bad about it though I knew what I was doing was awful. I've had my let since around middle school or highschool and told my parents around a year later that I didn't want her. I was neglecting her emotionally and legit only taking care of her by feeding her. They refused to let me give her away. The more years passed the more I despised her for no reason. When she cuddled with me I vividly imagined breaking her neck so she wouldnt be my problem anymore. I never physically harmed her but was repulsed.
I also told my parents this and they still refused to let me give her away and said to stop acting deep or whatever. Once I turned 18 I tried giving her away to my friend as I was about to move out and was beginning to feel guilty towards the poor creature. I was so close to letting her have an owner she deserves and tht deserves her but my parents said right when I was about to give her away and my friend already bought stuff to take care of her that they would take care of her and I figured that'd be best cause she's been with me for years and I didn't want to shock her too much. Then I ended up having an attempt tht landed me in the hospital and once I got out my parents immediately gave her back to me. I feel so awful shes forced to have an owner like me. She was throwing up the other day and I just watched her and in the back of my head was hoping this meant shed die soon.
Most people say they're shitty but honestly aren't tht bad but I know. It took me a while but I do know. I am a genuinely horrid person that doesn't deserve any love and can't truly give any love.
But honestly the only ones I feel sorry for are the animals I've done shitty things to not humans. I am plenty shit to humans but I don't feel bad. Including kids I genuinely don't care. I feel the tiniest bit sorry for my younger brother but apart of him just annoys me and I don't care at all to change. The only thing I can offer is leaving his life as he's started to copy me and all my bad habits and I barely hold back cursing him out and yelling at him. He's like 10.
I don't care to change and will always be like this the only way to save people from my existence is to die.
Ngl it kind of sounds like your mom is the piece of shit here. Who says shit like that to their kids, especially when said kids are depressed?
Once I attempted and my friends called the police so my parents came to pick me up and the first thing my mom did was slap me in the face once we got home and told me to stop being selfish. I do feel the tiniest bit sorry to my mother for having a child like me but honestly I feel no love for her. I recently ended up in the hospital around two months ago for an overdose and my mom did say she realized some things she said and did were bad and she was sorry tho then after a few seconds of me being quiet and just watching her she said it was also my fault....I am shitty but I have never done anything shitty to my parents. I am ashamed to say but I do blame half of my problems and mental issues on my parents. Recently found out I have BPD and I blame them more
Ngl it kind of sounds like your mom is the piece of shit here. Who says shit like that to their kids, especially when said kids are depressed?
Once I attempted and my friends called the police so my parents came to pick me up and the first thing my mom did was slap me in the face once we got home and told me to stop being selfish. I do feel the tiniest bit sorry to my mother for having a child like me but honestly I feel no love for her. I recently ended up in the hospital around two months ago for an overdose and my mom did say she realized some things she said and did were bad and she was sorry tho then after a few seconds of me being quiet and just watching her she said it was also my fault....I am shitty but I have never done anything shitty to my parents. I am ashamed to say but I do blame half of my problems and mental issues on my parents. Recently found out I have BPD and I blame them more
Ngl it kind of sounds like your mom is the piece of shit here. Who says shit like that to their kids, especially when said kids are depressed?
Once I attempted and my friends called the police so my parents came to pick me up and the first thing my mom did was slap me in the face once we got home and told me to stop being selfish. I do feel the tiniest bit sorry to my mother for having a child like me but honestly I feel no love for her. I recently ended up in the hospital around two months ago for an overdose and my mom did say she realized some things she said and did were bad and she was sorry tho then after a few seconds of me being quiet and just watching her she said it was also my fault....I am shitty but I have never done anything shitty to my parents. I am ashamed to say but I do blame half of my problems and mental issues on my parents. Recently found out I have BPD and I blame them more
Ngl it kind of sounds like your mom is the piece of shit here. Who says shit like that to their kids, especially when said kids are depressed?
Once I attempted and my friends called the police so my parents came to pick me up and the first thing my mom did was slap me in the face once we got home and told me to stop being selfish. I do feel the tiniest bit sorry to my mother for having a child like me but honestly I feel no love for her. I recently ended up in the hospital around two months ago for an overdose and my mom did say she realized some things she said and did were bad and she was sorry tho then after a few seconds of me being quiet and just watching her she said it was also my fault....I am shitty but I have never done anything shitty to my parents. I am ashamed to say but I do blame half of my problems and mental issues on my parents. Recently found out I have BPD and I blame them more
Ngl it kind of sounds like your mom is the piece of shit here. Who says shit like that to their kids, especially when said kids are depressed?
Once I attempted and my friends called the police so my parents came to pick me up and the first thing my mom did was slap me in the face once we got home and told me to stop being selfish. I do feel the tiniest bit sorry to my mother for having a child like me but honestly I feel no love for her. I recently ended up in the hospital around two months ago for an overdose and my mom did say she realized some things she said and did were bad and she was sorry tho then after a few seconds of me being quiet and just watching her she said it was also my fault....I am shitty but I have never done anything shitty to my parents. I am ashamed to say but I do blame half of my problems and mental issues on my parents. Recently found out I have BPD and I blame them more
....tho I fear I'm a punpun kinnie
