mittymittens
let's make it quick, ok?
- Jun 11, 2023
- 69
context: i knew this boy since i was 8 years old and have been in touch since then. at some points in our lives we were close and in the more recent years we werent but we were always still connected somewhat if that makes sense, until this year.
since he was 8 hes always liked me romantically and honestly never stopped it just the extent of it was differing each time and the last time i spoke with him he confirmed that he still liked me and i only started reciprocating those feelings sort of 2 years ago and those feelings came back this year. he is also extremely immature and disrespectful.
2 years ago august 2022, he asked if i could be his gf like many times before in the past but i ended up rejecting him and then after he asked if we could do a fwb. i said i would think ab it and i would get back to him. that next year about the same timeish (june 2023) i followed up on it and we both agreed to it. i followed up because well i was subconciously beginning to like him again and i honestly wanted to reconnect with him and be closer like old times and even expressed this to him asking if "we could be besties" and kept reaching out every year so we didnt lose that connection.
november of 2023, on a weekend, we did do something (iykyk) and in the end he promised me that he would not tell anyone about it , that he "respects women and wont tell anyone unless they did first" and i trusted him completely as this was my close friend at some point and i obviously was unaware of his true behavior.
on that monday i saw him and a friend of his looking at my direction and i knew what that implied and i knew he lied.
a mutual friend of ours, we will call her A (she/her), who mostly hangs around my friend group and hes not rly that close to her or even at the time when he told her, "A" told me that he told her but then told her not to tell me so he def knows he shouldnt be telling me and he knows that i wont be happy about it. if she wasnt even close to him because she told me then i doubt it was just two people that i know of who knows about it. she told me they had that call around december 2023 but she only told me months later as we werent close when it happened.
now for the question, i ended up unfollowing/unadding/unfriending him on every social media site i had him on in feburary 2024. he caught on and asked another mutual friend, ill call him "B" (he/him), he lowkey? tried to pressure "B" to tell him what happened between us about 2 weeks after i did that but ended up dropping it because our mutual friend wasnt obviously gonna reveal anything to him.
after "B" told me this--which he did immediately, i immediately felt bad and told "B" to tell him ill talk to him on our break and he responded very quickly to "B" agreeing to it but in the end i ended up just hiding from my usual spot so we never had that conversation because i felt weird that i had to reach out to him like always and i hadnt really thought on what i should say.
in the following months he would glance at me at times but especially in may and june of this year when it amplified, i saw him always looking at me, staring at times, lingering at times, one time even tried to eavesdrop on me and my best friends conversation when i was being loud and said "He LIED?!?" (wasnt ab him). during the last day we would ever see each other again and the last oppurtunity to talk in person about it, i walked past him and i saw from my perpherial vision that he stopped walking when he saw me just to look at me like almost like he wanted/planned to say something to me finally but didnt because i was walking out with my family and everything happened extremely quickly or any other reason.
around june too that same mutual friend "B" told me he told him that he still never really knew what happened between us. he also talked to mutual friend "A" around that time too and speculated my whole friend group hated him and she told him to just ask us and he goes "Nah" like he wants to find out information without actually confronting about it for whatever reason.
is it justified to leave a friend i knew for 10 years with these reasons without closure?
i just didnt really want to go up to someone that hurt me who i barely even talked to and explain why im hurt. but at the same time as someone who feels bad a lot and empathisizes with people i feel bad and i never wanted a friendship with someone who i still really care about to take such a left turn but i felt really hurt. i cannot speak to him now and wont be able to until october or end of september because hes in the military.
hes also someone i tried reconnecting with several times but it never really worked and in the beginning of asking him if we could be a fwb, i also told him he should hang around my friendgroup again after the summer and that i missed him and he said he would but he never did and now he also ended up telling "A" that he suddenly misses the group and wanted to be close to everyone again in the end but the reason why he spent time in my friend group at all in the first place was because he was trying to ask out one of my other friends in that group and then when he realized she wont reciprocate he stopped hanging out with the group.
honestly im not upset at the fact he told people in general. but instead more upset he told me something and did the opposite and promised me along with it too. i cut him off because i completely trusted his word and i felt betrayed and i knew he only told people for a interesting story to tell and/or to boost his image.
i dont know what if i did was right and i also dont understand him at all because he disrespected me and just didnt care about spending time with me enough to do it and when he wanted to i was already gone and i just dont understand that logic.
since he was 8 hes always liked me romantically and honestly never stopped it just the extent of it was differing each time and the last time i spoke with him he confirmed that he still liked me and i only started reciprocating those feelings sort of 2 years ago and those feelings came back this year. he is also extremely immature and disrespectful.
2 years ago august 2022, he asked if i could be his gf like many times before in the past but i ended up rejecting him and then after he asked if we could do a fwb. i said i would think ab it and i would get back to him. that next year about the same timeish (june 2023) i followed up on it and we both agreed to it. i followed up because well i was subconciously beginning to like him again and i honestly wanted to reconnect with him and be closer like old times and even expressed this to him asking if "we could be besties" and kept reaching out every year so we didnt lose that connection.
november of 2023, on a weekend, we did do something (iykyk) and in the end he promised me that he would not tell anyone about it , that he "respects women and wont tell anyone unless they did first" and i trusted him completely as this was my close friend at some point and i obviously was unaware of his true behavior.
on that monday i saw him and a friend of his looking at my direction and i knew what that implied and i knew he lied.
a mutual friend of ours, we will call her A (she/her), who mostly hangs around my friend group and hes not rly that close to her or even at the time when he told her, "A" told me that he told her but then told her not to tell me so he def knows he shouldnt be telling me and he knows that i wont be happy about it. if she wasnt even close to him because she told me then i doubt it was just two people that i know of who knows about it. she told me they had that call around december 2023 but she only told me months later as we werent close when it happened.
now for the question, i ended up unfollowing/unadding/unfriending him on every social media site i had him on in feburary 2024. he caught on and asked another mutual friend, ill call him "B" (he/him), he lowkey? tried to pressure "B" to tell him what happened between us about 2 weeks after i did that but ended up dropping it because our mutual friend wasnt obviously gonna reveal anything to him.
after "B" told me this--which he did immediately, i immediately felt bad and told "B" to tell him ill talk to him on our break and he responded very quickly to "B" agreeing to it but in the end i ended up just hiding from my usual spot so we never had that conversation because i felt weird that i had to reach out to him like always and i hadnt really thought on what i should say.
in the following months he would glance at me at times but especially in may and june of this year when it amplified, i saw him always looking at me, staring at times, lingering at times, one time even tried to eavesdrop on me and my best friends conversation when i was being loud and said "He LIED?!?" (wasnt ab him). during the last day we would ever see each other again and the last oppurtunity to talk in person about it, i walked past him and i saw from my perpherial vision that he stopped walking when he saw me just to look at me like almost like he wanted/planned to say something to me finally but didnt because i was walking out with my family and everything happened extremely quickly or any other reason.
around june too that same mutual friend "B" told me he told him that he still never really knew what happened between us. he also talked to mutual friend "A" around that time too and speculated my whole friend group hated him and she told him to just ask us and he goes "Nah" like he wants to find out information without actually confronting about it for whatever reason.
is it justified to leave a friend i knew for 10 years with these reasons without closure?
i just didnt really want to go up to someone that hurt me who i barely even talked to and explain why im hurt. but at the same time as someone who feels bad a lot and empathisizes with people i feel bad and i never wanted a friendship with someone who i still really care about to take such a left turn but i felt really hurt. i cannot speak to him now and wont be able to until october or end of september because hes in the military.
hes also someone i tried reconnecting with several times but it never really worked and in the beginning of asking him if we could be a fwb, i also told him he should hang around my friendgroup again after the summer and that i missed him and he said he would but he never did and now he also ended up telling "A" that he suddenly misses the group and wanted to be close to everyone again in the end but the reason why he spent time in my friend group at all in the first place was because he was trying to ask out one of my other friends in that group and then when he realized she wont reciprocate he stopped hanging out with the group.
honestly im not upset at the fact he told people in general. but instead more upset he told me something and did the opposite and promised me along with it too. i cut him off because i completely trusted his word and i felt betrayed and i knew he only told people for a interesting story to tell and/or to boost his image.
i dont know what if i did was right and i also dont understand him at all because he disrespected me and just didnt care about spending time with me enough to do it and when he wanted to i was already gone and i just dont understand that logic.
