Am I just fucked?

[itsbigbraintime]

I don't really know if it's worth it to keep going much longer. I've tried, I've genuinely tried to get better. Have I been able to find a therapist? No. Because they're all booked months in advance. The same with regular doctors in general. My job is stressing me out to no end, and I'm looking for a new one but shit is hard. I've also taken a volunteer position as an EMT, which is only once a week, but when you combine that with a full time job that works you six days a week, there's not exactly a lot of free time. But the thoughts are coming back, and I'm too tired to fight them. Maybe I'll just let them win this time around. I'm exhausted. I'm not the best at writing anymore, so if this seems like random thoughts, that's because it probably is, and I didn't think this through before I wrote this. I'm really only writing this to vent anyway. Thanks

 

[lifecouldbedream]

There is another option. It may not work for you but its worth trying I think. Psilocybin mushrooms have been shown to rewire and regenerate neural pathways, curing PTSD and depression in some people. They are illegal in some parts of the world, but fortunately spores to grow them usually aren't.

 

[itsbigbraintime]

I tried mushrooms once. It was purely recreational, not therapeutic. But aside from weird headspace and visuals, it didn't do too much for me mentally. Have I done it wrong?

 

[lifecouldbedream]

I tried mushrooms once. It was purely recreational, not therapeutic. But aside from weird headspace and visuals, it didn't do too much for me mentally. Have I done it wrong?

Mushroom's effects are temporary at best unless you keep at them. I would say try tripping again but writing during the trip, try to access your inner thoughts. I felt the same when I tried them, I had a chill experience but nothing else until I meditated and looked at my life during my next trip. I would also recommend you try a microdosing regiment where you take .1-.3g every day for 4 days on and 3 days off to deal with tolerance, you will notice long term effects if you keep at them.

 

[Painless_end]

I think you are maybe over worked and need rest

Are you sure you need to work 7 days a week ?

 

[itsbigbraintime]

Technically no, but I need to be full time at my job because I need to save money, and move back out of my parents house. Being here is also a drain on me, mentally. And if I reduce my hours, I'm worried I'm too bad with money to be able to afford rent.

 

[Braindead Atheist]

I don't really know if it's worth it to keep going much longer. I've tried, I've genuinely tried to get better. Have I been able to find a therapist? No. Because they're all booked months in advance. The same with regular doctors in general. My job is stressing me out to no end, and I'm looking for a new one but shit is hard. I've also taken a volunteer position as an EMT, which is only once a week, but when you combine that with a full time job that works you six days a week, there's not exactly a lot of free time. But the thoughts are coming back, and I'm too tired to fight them. Maybe I'll just let them win this time around. I'm exhausted. I'm not the best at writing anymore, so if this seems like random thoughts, that's because it probably is, and I didn't think this through before I wrote this. I'm really only writing this to vent anyway. Thanks

try an online therapist like better help.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are suffering. I understand it is hard to carry on when you are exhausted. Life really is tiring. I wish you the best.