Am I indecisive?

[nextstepdeath]

Open thought, you don't have to directly answer me. I don't know if I'm indecisive, I know I have fucked up my life, I can barely function, I don't want to leave the house, I think about killing myself all the time, I let life go by on automatic while I figure out what I should do. And that's the problem. I'm not sure what I should do. I want to die but I'm hesitant to because I'm conflicted over a method I feel comfortable with alongside it actually working. I also have so much baggage, memories experiences I'm trying to process and come to terms with, I want to die in a place where I can feel things make sense, closure in myself. It's all so difficult and leads me to feel I am indecisive, I don't know how to see this through when there is so much to work through.