Venting Am I depressed or just "feeling sorry for myself"?

[KillingPain267]

What is the difference? I am not a native English speaker, but I've often heard the expression "feeling sorry for yourself" as being negative. It's often used to people who are sad and angry for prolonged periods after a divorce or losing someone. Since I've experienced divorce and it destroyed me mentally the expression seems to apply to me and it makes me feel like my feelings are wrong. But I can't help it, it's not like I love feeling mental anguish every day and waking up to hearing myself crying in the morning. How can I stop "feeling sorry for myself" if someone could explain what that means? Or is it just an expression that invalidates all depression?

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think it's supposed to snap us out of how we're feeling- as in 'stop feeling sorry for yourself.' 'Stop making mountains out of mole hills is another one' or- the idea of someone holding a pity party for themselves.

I've always hated the expression though. It's not always that easy to just snap ourselves out of what we're feeling and going through. Besides- the problems aren't going to go away. What's the benefit in just pretending to be ok when you're not? I just think it makes it easier for other people to be around us.

I suppose there could be some validity to it. If we're constantly stuck feeling sorry for ourselves. Feeling like the world is against us and, there's nothing we can do to change that- it could also potentially stop us from trying anything. Feeling hard done by doesn't really empower someone to think they can even make things better for themselves. And I suppose ultimately- it's up to us to try to pick ourselves up (if we can.) Maybe it's depression though when we can't seem to pick ourselves up anymore.

Regardless though- I think it's valid. Why shouldn't someone who's gone through something shitty and unfair feel sorry for themselves? Surely, they have a reasonable right to.

 

[alienfreak]

I'm a native speaker and it's unclear to me too. There are a lot of expressions which people seem to say in certain situations that barely seem to mean anything. It feels somewhat like a thought-terminating cliché