Venting Am I a rabbit?

[SilentSadness]

I have wanted to kill myself for the longest time. Life is messy and unrewarding and even those who preach how valuable it is seem to acknowledge its terrible nature. I am up-to-date on all of the methods, including very rare ones and ones which don't work, and I have no desire to live. However, all I see is that others successfully ctb and go through with it, and how people such as myself would have already ctb if we wanted to. I have been dismissing it as ignorance, but there is a shadowy thought dawning on me, that in actuality everyone finds it easy and I am a coward. I know that others here find it difficult as well, but often it seems to be a case of not fully committing to the idea of killing oneself. I am ready to die. I'm just interested in what others think about this, I'm not looking for platitudes or comfort.

 

[man_in_red:)]

Yes, you are a rabbit. Hop around and eat as much grass and carrots as your little rabbity heart desires.

 

[FuneralCry]

The fact that suicide is so unnecessarily difficult, risky and complicated, and how more peaceful methods get restricted from us is also what keeps me trapped here, it's annoying when some people act like suicide is straightforward and one just needs to want to die enough in order to go through with it. The problem really is this hellish anti suicide society and if suicide was easier I would be long gone, I hate how we exist in a world where those who want to die cannot just pass away in peace without struggle. But I certainly envy those who managed to go through with it despite all the difficulties, as I see the thought of non existence as being something so incredibly ideal.