Discussion Am I a bad person for not telling anyone about my friends suicide attempt?

[AnotherDayInHell]

As the title states, a friend of mine attempts to kill himself tonight. He caught me off guard with a small suicide note where he wrote a few things, for example he wanted me to tell his ex girlfriend that he still loves her, and say sorry to his parents. It was a little devastating for me, but I wrote him that I respect his decision and he should go for it if he really wants to. I also wished him an peaceful journey. Am I a bad person for not telling anyone? I know where he lives and I even have his mothers number, I could've easily prevented this attempt from happening, but yet I didn't because he wanted me to not do anything. I hope his family doesn't find out that I could've saved him and I hope I don't get any legal issues.
Any words/advice/comments are appreciated.

 

[flowers in the mist]

I don't think you're a bad person for respecting his wishes, I probably would have done the same if that's what he wants.
Legally you don't have an obligation to save him from suicide in your situation.

At least that's what I think..

 

[Sleeper System]

As the title states, a friend of mine attempts to kill himself tonight. He caught me off guard with a small suicide note where he wrote a few things, for example he wanted me to tell his ex girlfriend that he still loves her, and say sorry to his parents. It was a little devastating for me, but I wrote him that I respect his decision and he should go for it if he really wants to. I also wished him an peaceful journey. Am I a bad person for not telling anyone? I know where he lives and I even have his mothers number, I could've easily prevented this attempt from happening, but yet I didn't because he wanted me to not do anything. I hope his family doesn't find out that I could've saved him and I hope I don't get any legal issues.
Any words/advice/comments are appreciated.

If I was your friend I would want you to honor my request if you could find the courage.
It all depends on the mental state of the friend. Is this a cry for help or has he thought this through?
Either way, you're not legally responsible. You could easily say you didn't think it was serious.
But ethically, the people around you might judge you for it. Either way, I'd care more about the friends wishes then those of the folks living on the outside of his suffering.

 

[兎の耳]

You're not a bad person at all for honoring your friend's request. If anything I'd say that kind of loyalty is commendable.

Will others judge you harshly for it? Probably. Personally, I think it's lovely and you're a good example of what true friendship should be.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I don't think you are a bad person. I don't know what I would say to his ex and his family. Maybe leave out the note.
Just say that I know he loves you.
Such a tough place to be put in. You will probably be blamed by family for not saying anything if you mention the note.

 

[haibane]

Its his own life and he have all the right to cease it if he want to. Pretty much everyone wish to have someone who could understand and respect our opinions and choices towards our own life. So no u are not a bad person at all and thank for respecting his decision.

 

[hellispink]

You are just respecting his decision. That is very empathetic of your part. Shows your love for him. Loving is letting go and respecting ones wishes.

 

[mia_qwerty]

He's put you in a difficult position. I won't tell anyone when I cbt because i know they will have to respond.

 

[girlsboysthems]

I appreciate your empathy and willingness to help a friend, but legally if they catch you with a note and the fact that you knew he was going to kill himself you can get in trouble and people will judge you, esp if the friend successfully commits suicide. i would respect their wishes about talking to people he cares about, but i would return the suicide note and tell them that you love them and you/d do anything for them, but this can cause legal trouble.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

It's not illegal for you to not stop him, unless you're his therapist or doctor. It's only illegal if you assist him.

 

[Dead Ghost]

That's why when the time comes I don't plan to comment on it anywhere or say goodbye to anyone, so I avoid these problems for other people.
It will be unexpected by everyone but me.

//

És per això que arribat el moment no penso comentar-ho enlloc ni acomiadar-me de ningú, així evito aquests problemes per a d'altres persones.
Serà un fet inesperat per tothom menys per mi.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

I appreciate your empathy and willingness to help a friend, but legally if they catch you with a note and the fact that you knew he was going to kill himself you can get in trouble and people will judge you, esp if the friend successfully commits suicide. i would respect their wishes about talking to people he cares about, but i would return the suicide note and tell them that you love them and you/d do anything for them, but this can cause legal trouble.

Plausible deniability if it's a physical note. Also if the police or something look through, I don't think the first thing they'd do is tell everyone OP knows.

 

[girlsboysthems]

Plausible deniability if it's a physical note. Also if the police or something look through, I don't think the first thing they'd do is tell everyone OP knows.

no but if op told people like he was instructed to do, the family and friends could be resentful, might even get vengeful esp if the person succeded.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

no but if op told people like he was instructed to do, the family and friends could be resentful, might even get vengeful esp if the person succeded.

OP can claim he didn't find out until later.

 

[etherealgoddess]

As the title states, a friend of mine attempts to kill himself tonight. He caught me off guard with a small suicide note where he wrote a few things, for example he wanted me to tell his ex girlfriend that he still loves her, and say sorry to his parents. It was a little devastating for me, but I wrote him that I respect his decision and he should go for it if he really wants to. I also wished him an peaceful journey. Am I a bad person for not telling anyone? I know where he lives and I even have his mothers number, I could've easily prevented this attempt from happening, but yet I didn't because he wanted me to not do anything. I hope his family doesn't find out that I could've saved him and I hope I don't get any legal issues.
Any words/advice/comments are appreciated.

It's all about values. We all get to choose our values. If someone values life, they're gonna think it's bad. Think of anyone who isn't suicidal. If someone doesn't value life and values other principles such as respect, friendship, etc. AKA suicidal people, then they're gonna say great. Thinking if you're a bad person or not is so subjective. Every single response aligns with the fact that we choose our values.

 

[FuneralCry]

You were just being compassionate and respectful, that individual had a right to die after all, and the personal choice to leave this world isn't other people's, it's not their place to interfere. Nobody should feel forced to suffer in this existence they didn't even consent to being in, in the first place.

 

[Burden_Bailey]

You're not a bad person at all! In fact, you probably put him in a better situation by not telling anyone.

I used to vent to my friend, and she promised not to tell anyone. But then she got worried that I was going to kill myself, so she leaked all the information. Ever since then, my life has gotten severely worse. And I'm probably going to CTB soon because of it.

So no, you are not a bad person for not telling someone else.

 

[Abyssal]

Is your friend still alive?

I don't believe you to be a bad person. Good and bad are already very subjective, and in cases like these you have to determine what is right and wrong for yourself.

When in doubt, ask yourself this: Will I regret this decision?

 

[Forever Sleep]

I actually think you were a very loyal and brave friend. You respected his wishes despite there being risk for you. To be honest, it wasn't a very fair position to put you in. Other people and definitely his family may not see it like that though. It depends on whether they are pro-choice.