Discussion Always quiet. trying to be invisible

[blanketyblk]

I was mowing the back yard today and was thinking that I always quiet when I'm home. If I'm outside to do any yard work. I try and do it when there are no neighbors around. But it's more than that.

In my house I also quiet, if I decide to listen to music I put on my headphones. If I watch a movie I keep the sound down low. When I vacuum the place I close all the windows and outside doors.

I don't know why I started to do this. But I do know I've done it most of my life. It could be it's like I don't want anyone to know I exist. Or some kind of defensive mechanism my mind has built up that if I'm quiet. People won't notice me and I won't get bullied. I do the same at work. If there is a customer I will talk to them. But once the customer is out of the store I go back to being very quiet and just waiting in the corner for the next person to come in.

Being tall and female. i always get noticed and stared at. I am very self concision about it. but even inside my own house, when i am alone. i still feel and act this way.

I mean I'm a middle aged women, I should be able to make as much noise as I want. But for some reason my mind just doesn't want me to.

I guess this is something I need to talk to my councillor about as well.

Does anyone else act like this when they are alone?

 

[Hobbes]

All the same. I think you correctly analyzed it yourself, it's an effective defensive mechanism. I'm extremely adverse to conflict, and I have a constant fear of being a burden on others. Not wanting to bother others with quiet behaviours just leads from that.

That, and people who slam doors are pretty damn annoying.

 

[not_a_robot]

I was mowing the back yard today and was thinking that I always quiet when I'm home. If I'm outside to do any yard work. I try and do it when there are no neighbors around. But it's more than that.

In my house I also quiet, if I decide to listen to music I put on my headphones. If I watch a movie I keep the sound down low. When I vacuum the place I close all the windows and outside doors.

I don't know why I started to do this. But I do know I've done it most of my life. It could be it's like I don't want anyone to know I exist. Or some kind of defensive mechanism my mind has built up that if I'm quiet. People won't notice me and I won't get bullied. I do the same at work. If there is a customer I will talk to them. But once the customer is out of the store I go back to being very quiet and just waiting in the corner for the next person to come in.

Being tall and female. i always get noticed and stared at. I am very self concision about it. but even inside my own house, when i am alone. i still feel and act this way.

I mean I'm a middle aged women, I should be able to make as much noise as I want. But for some reason my mind just doesn't want me to.

I guess this is something I need to talk to my councillor about as well.

Does anyone else act like this when they are alone?

I try to minimize almost all noise unless I'm drunk and listening music or so stressed that I'm talking to myself. I keep tv and podcasts on, but my entertainment revolves around quality of noise, and the mute-button on my remotes are never far from my hand. I wear earplugs anytime I go inside a business, to kill the noise. If I forget my earplugs I have to buy some at the next available store, without delay, if I can't avoid noise I go a little crazy. Literally cover my ears and act weird til I can get away from it. I can make myself pretend it doesn't bother me but it takes a lot of effort.
Combined with all of my other symptoms though, it fits a pretty textbook diagnosis of adult autism. I find it funny that neurotypicals pretend all their noise doesn't bother them, but they all seem to get migraines.
I also buy extra thick rugs and put bandaids on cabinet doors and drawers so they won't bump. I WD4O any squeaks in my home.
I hate noise, and I hate it even more if my own noise disturbs others.

 

[conveniently_dead]

I'm getting smaller
And smaller and smaller
And I have nothing to say
Its only taken away
I just behave and obey
I'm afraid that I'm starting to fade away

 

[Severen]

I try to minimize almost all noise unless I'm drunk and listening music or so stressed that I'm talking to myself. I keep tv and podcasts on, but my entertainment revolves around quality of noise, and the mute-button on my remotes are never far from my hand. I wear earplugs anytime I go inside a business, to kill the noise. If I forget my earplugs I have to buy some at the next available store, without delay, if I can't avoid noise I go a little crazy. Literally cover my ears and act weird til I can get away from it. I can make myself pretend it doesn't bother me but it takes a lot of effort.
Combined with all of my other symptoms though, it fits a pretty textbook diagnosis of adult autism. I find it funny that neurotypicals pretend all their noise doesn't bother them, but they all seem to get migraines.
I also buy extra thick rugs and put bandaids on cabinet doors and drawers so they won't bump. I WD4O any squeaks in my home.
I hate noise, and I hate it even more if my own noise disturbs others.

It has already been proven excessive noise, causes stress for people. Most people still haven't learned this even though such knowledge is easily accessible.