Help Alone For 2 Weeks - How to avoid a relapse?

[dogthebenzohunter]

It's been like 3 weeks since I got outta the hospital after having a few seizures from alcohol withdrawal.

I really don't care anymore again the shock of nearly dying has worn off and I'm back to wishing I didn't make it.

Part of me knows getting drunk again will be a mistake but another part of me is just so bored and doesn't care anymore.

I also have some drugs that may arrive next week or the week after. Enough to kill me 1000 times over in fact. I should really sell them but addiction will win and I'll use them I just know it.

I don't have enough money to go on an alcohol bender just enough for one night.

Also found out today my guitar is gonna cost $600 to repair so I won't be able to pick it up till a find a job and get paid. I paid $2500 for it so it's not like I can't get it repaired. I fell onto it hard when I was intoxicated a few weeks ago.

Im on my way to a NA meeting but I'm too embarrassed to share any of this in person. I feel so weak admitting I wanna use again and when everyone else just shared how proud they are that they can say no.

I just find life so boring now. Nothing excites me anymore. I feel like a bored teenager wanting to cause some trouble. But no I'm too old to be breaking windows and setting things on fire.

 

[randy]

maybe some psychedelics would kick you out of your boredom?

after I started doing shrooms, I had no desire for alcohol

 

[Zegers]

shrooms

psylocibine?

 

[Velvet Fortress]

I feel so weak admitting I wanna use again and when everyone else just shared how proud they are that they can say no.

They've been where you are before they could say that. On the contrary, I find admitting that you're really struggling much braver and more respectable than celebrating victories (not that there is anything wrong with that either).

Sorry you're going through all this. It sounds like you're fighting very hard and I commend you for that

 

[randy]

psylocibine?

affirmative

 

[dogthebenzohunter]

maybe some psychedelics would kick you out of your boredom?

after I started doing shrooms, I had no desire for alcohol

Sadly not the season for shrooms down here it's summer. And I have had my debit cards taken from me so even if I had money in my account I'd have no way to order from the dark net.

That is unless I sell the research chemicals that are already on the way. I got 5000 doses coming. But I'd feel so bad if someone overdosed on it. So I'm not sure if I can morally go through with that. Because the ones buying would be my people not some yuppie businessman.

 

[randy]

Sadly not the season for shrooms down here it's summer. And I have had my debit cards taken from me so even if I had money in my account I'd have no way to order from the dark net.

That is unless I sell the research chemicals that are already on the way. I got 5000 doses coming. But I'd feel so bad if someone overdosed on it. So I'm not sure if I can morally go through with that. Because the ones buying would be my people not some yuppie businessman.

if you can get your hands on RCs, 4-aco-dmt is a great RC that's nearly the same as shrooms

 

[dogthebenzohunter]

if you can get your hands on RCs, 4-aco-dmt is a great RC that's nearly the same as shrooms

I got 3-meo-pcp coming as well as the rc opiates. I've heard people feel great for 2 days after from a low dose. I wanna try a 5mg dose and see. Apparently you feel more sober than you would on ketamine or dxm. I love ketamine but I hate snorting it. The 3 meo pcp you take orally.

 

[Rainy_days]

I think sometimes libraries have musical instruments to rent... maybe go check it out? I don't know if you like reading or not but books are a major distraction and escape for me. The other one is computer gaming but I don't know if that interests you either. These things can be free or relatively inexpensive, are absorbing, and can pass a lot of time.

 

[CowsAgainstCapitali]

Is kratom availible to you? It reduces my desire to drink and punishes me if I combine them.

 

[Exact Change]

It's been like 3 weeks since I got outta the hospital after having a few seizures from alcohol withdrawal.

I really don't care anymore again the shock of nearly dying has worn off and I'm back to wishing I didn't make it.

Part of me knows getting drunk again will be a mistake but another part of me is just so bored and doesn't care anymore.

I also have some drugs that may arrive next week or the week after. Enough to kill me 1000 times over in fact. I should really sell them but addiction will win and I'll use them I just know it.

I don't have enough money to go on an alcohol bender just enough for one night.

Also found out today my guitar is gonna cost $600 to repair so I won't be able to pick it up till a find a job and get paid. I paid $2500 for it so it's not like I can't get it repaired. I fell onto it hard when I was intoxicated a few weeks ago.

Im on my way to a NA meeting but I'm too embarrassed to share any of this in person. I feel so weak admitting I wanna use again and when everyone else just shared how proud they are that they can say no.

I just find life so boring now. Nothing excites me anymore. I feel like a bored teenager wanting to cause some trouble. But no I'm too old to be breaking windows and setting things on fire.

I'm an alcoholic and can relate to all youve said. How much were you drinking daily to experience withdrawal seizures? I struggle to just go 24 hours sober. Then the night comes and all thats left is regret and depression.

 

[dogthebenzohunter]

T

I think sometimes libraries have musical instruments to rent... maybe go check it out? I don't know if you like reading or not but books are a major distraction and escape for me. The other one is computer gaming but I don't know if that interests you either. These things can be free or relatively inexpensive, are absorbing, and can pass a lot of time

Thanks for the advice but I do luckily have other guitars to play. And ye been playing battlefield to kill time

Is kratom availible to you? It reduces my desire to drink and punishes me if I combine them.

It's not here. I have used it when I lived overseas and got addicted to it

I'm an alcoholic and can relate to all youve said. How much were you drinking daily to experience withdrawal seizures? I struggle to just go 24 hours sober. Then the night comes and all thats left is regret and depression.

I stopped and started so many times over the past 10 years. This time I went on a 2 week bender and was drinking like 20-24 standard drinks a night. Then once I stopped it was on day 3 the seizures came.

If you ever decide to quit make sure you see a doctor first or get some Valium so you don't seize.