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toobrokenforlife

toobrokenforlife

Member
Feb 15, 2021
17
I was planning to drown in a lake I pass on my way home from work tomorrow, but today I had the house to myself for once and tried partial hanging as it's less likely to be seen by someone else who might rescue me. SI kicked in and I released the pressure just before I blacked out. Now I'm just sitting on my floor shaking and my neck hurts like hell. I wish this was easier.
I'm hoping drowning will go better as I'm a terrible swimmer.
 
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Depressed Cat

Depressed Cat

Mage
Jan 4, 2022
567
Yeah, CTB is not easy at all and SI is very strong indeed.

Today may not be the day for you to CTB. Relax a bit and let your neck heal.

You can wake up tomorrow and think carefully about how you want to proceed.

I wish you the best and hope you find peace.
 
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miserableforever

miserableforever

Arcanist
Oct 23, 2020
488
I was planning to drown in a lake I pass on my way home from work tomorrow, but today I had the house to myself for once and tried partial hanging as it's less likely to be seen by someone else who might rescue me. SI kicked in and I released the pressure just before I blacked out. Now I'm just sitting on my floor shaking and my neck hurts like hell. I wish this was easier.
I'm hoping drowning will go better as I'm a terrible swimmer.
There's always another day. Dying is so hard, I know.
Make some coffee and watch TV or something to distract yourself for now.
Fighting against your own self is the worst battle. Sounds generic but it's very true.
I wonder how some people on here just did it without hesitation.
Wasn't your time yet❤️
 
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cambrai33

cambrai33

Traveller
Nov 3, 2021
386
You have just been through a life changing experience and my heart goes out to how you must be feeling.

Try and give yourself a week to just collect your thoughts and look after yourself as best you can before you contemplate any else as life changing. Si was dominant for a reason but it's now the best to to reevaluate things as best you can.

Take the next day or so just to be kind to yourself as best that you can

We are always here if you need to sound us out on things
 
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Crazy4u

Crazy4u

Enlightened
Sep 29, 2021
1,318
I wish you feel better tomorrow. like others said, dying is hard. don't be hard on yourself
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,938
I'm sorry you had this experience, ctb really is difficult and more than anything I wish it was easier to leave. The SI is very frustrating, it is determined to keep us suffering. We all deserve the option of a peaceful exit at a time of our own choosing, no one should have to resort to methods like hanging that could fail. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.
 
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Noctis

Noctis

I wish I'd done it years ago
Dec 15, 2021
308
That really sucks. I've never tried hanging, but my SI did keep me from pulling the trigger.

The important thing to remember is this does NOT make you a failure; it just wasn't your time. Like others have said, take a break, try to relax, and be kind to yourself.
 
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