Almost died from an OD in April, I will do it again sometime soon and it will work

[fluorine.uranium.99]

On April 8th, I ingested 5g propranolol and 18 mg guanfacine.
Now I know everyone says ODs are rarely fatal. But if you know what you're doing and have the right meds it can be very lethal.

The only reason I'm alive is that I was found 1 hour after ingestion and EMS arrived shortly after. Even then, I was very close to dying. I was in the ICU for a while. They weren't sure I'd make it.

Well this time I will succeed. Imma do it in a forest preserve. this time it'll be:
>4g propranolol
>200 mg prazosin
825 mg atenolol
>5g lamotrigine

All crushed and dissolved in water. I'll try to find some antiemetic to take as well.

If my propranolol dose doesn't get increased I will have to wait longer to get >4g (I have a 3 month supply prescription). So this means I have to be alive for 4-7 more months. It feels like so long. I am going to indulge in my eating disorder to make the wait more bearable. I wish I could just have everything right now so I could do it. Agh, I know I sound so dumb. I could just hang myself right now. I know that. But I want to OD.
Imma try to get my dose increased from 10 to 20 mg BID. It used to be 20 mg BID but when I OD'd they unprescribed me propranolol but I was recently prescribed it again, but at 10 mg BID. 20 mg BID would be WAY better because it would mean I get DOUBLE the medication. Ughhh I really want that. Imma try to get that to happen next appointment.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find peace, I wish you the best.

 

[darksouls]

hope you find relief from suffering

 

[bye bye before 40]

Hope you find peace brother

 

[plzoffme]

wishing you a peaceful journey :)

 

[DUDale]

On April 8th, I ingested 5g propranolol and 18 mg guanfacine.
Now I know everyone says ODs are rarely fatal. But if you know what you're doing and have the right meds it can be very lethal.

The only reason I'm alive is that I was found 1 hour after ingestion and EMS arrived shortly after. Even then, I was very close to dying. I was in the ICU for a while. They weren't sure I'd make it.

Well this time I will succeed. Imma do it in a forest preserve. this time it'll be:
>4g propranolol
>200 mg prazosin
825 mg atenolol
>5g lamotrigine

All crushed and dissolved in water. I'll try to find some antiemetic to take as well.

If my propranolol dose doesn't get increased I will have to wait longer to get >4g (I have a 3 month supply prescription). So this means I have to be alive for 4-7 more months. It feels like so long. I am going to indulge in my eating disorder to make the wait more bearable. I wish I could just have everything right now so I could do it. Agh, I know I sound so dumb. I could just hang myself right now. I know that. But I want to OD.
Imma try to get my dose increased from 10 to 20 mg BID. It used to be 20 mg BID but when I OD'd they unprescribed me propranolol but I was recently prescribed it again, but at 10 mg BID. 20 mg BID would be WAY better because it would mean I get DOUBLE the medication. Ughhh I really want that. Imma try to get that to happen next appointment.

I ODed march 16th and did die but the only reason I'm breathing now is because an asshole didn't want to mind his own business and called authorities to do a welfare check on me. Someone who didn't even know me. What an asshole! With fentanyl, if you haven't been dead that long they can bring you back by pumping narcan in you. They pumped me full of narcan and brought me back to life. Kept me in the hospital for a couple weeks till they thought my condition was stable. Then they transferred me to probably the worst psych facility on the planet. Was my worst nightmare. They stole all my belongings. Money IDs, wallet. They even stole my damn clothes! They kept me in there for another 2 months which caused me to lose everything else I owned and released me with nothing. Didn't do anything to even pretend they were trying to help me. Words can't express how horrific this experience was or how evil these people are. I am getting ready to do it again. Most people don't die from trying to ctb with drugs is true but doing enough fentanyl is the exception to that rule. It's a great method. Completely painless. Only drawback is you have to make sure EMS don't get to you soon enough to bring you back with narcan. I will make absolute certain this time