Venting All talk and no bite

[jaemus12]

I am so envious of people here that are ballsy enough to ctb. My life is so fucked to the point that I am ready to go but at the same time I don't even know what to do.

I just feel like I'm all talk of suicide but no bite. I am just so confused. Fuck.

All my life I have been nothing but a fucking loser. And now even to kms I can't even do it. Fuck. Just someone kill me :/

Sorry I just have a lot of thoughts that's all over the place. I'm near the end - I'm going to jump off the bridge into the waters when the time comes - I'm starting not to give a fuck about pain or suffering or some shit.

Fuck.

 

[Deadinside24]

Ctb isn't an easy thing to do. Don't be so hard on yourself. I can't really speak for everyone else but I've tried more times than I can count and I'm still here. Your body was built to survive at all costs. Overcoming that is harder than it sounds.

 

[jaemus12]

Ctb isn't an easy thing to do. Don't be so hard on yourself. I can't really speak for everyone else but I've tried more times than I can count and I'm still here. Your body was built to survive at all costs. Overcoming that is harder than it sounds.

Thanks. I'm just frustrated. I hate myself :(

 

[bigj75]

Ctb isn't an easy thing to do. Don't be so hard on yourself. I can't really speak for everyone else but I've tried more times than I can count and I'm still here. Your body was built to survive at all costs. Overcoming that is harder than it sounds.

this! There is absolutely no shame in hesitating to ctb.

 

[PatKat]

I am so envious of people here that are ballsy enough to ctb. My life is so fucked to the point that I am ready to go but at the same time I don't even know what to do.

I just feel like I'm all talk of suicide but no bite. I am just so confused. Fuck.

All my life I have been nothing but a fucking loser. And now even to kms I can't even do it. Fuck. Just someone kill me :/

Sorry I just have a lot of thoughts that's all over the place. I'm near the end - I'm going to jump off the bridge into the waters when the time comes - I'm starting not to give a fuck about pain or suffering or some shit.

Fuck.

The permanent solution to the permanent problem...

 

[FailedWoman]

People like to say how it's "the easy way out".
But in reality it's the hardest thing you'll ever do.
I've been trough quite a few failed attempts and quite a few more where I couldn't even go through with it...

 

[bigj75]

People like to say how it's "the easy way out".
But in reality it's the hardest thing you'll ever do.
I've been trough quite a few failed attempts and quite a few more where I couldn't even go through with it...

this.

 

[FailedWoman]

this.

Yeah, most people can't even imagine how it must feel when you're standing on the railing of a bridge, rope in hand.
It's a horrifying feeling, or at least to me it was.

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

If you don't got the balls benzos will push you

 

[FailedWoman]

If you don't got the balls benzos will push you

I've been thinking about this. Never had benzos in my life, but I've heard they're pretty great with alcohol, haha.
I think I could get some through one of my online pharmacies, but would cocaine work as well? It's easier to get for me and I know it will give courage in any situation.

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

Now than benzos make you not give a fuck

 

[jaemus12]

Now than benzos make you not give a fuck

Perhaps it's time to get in on some of that stuff.

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

I would Valium

 

[Justanotherconsumer]

I'm curious what would be the use of the rope on the bridge?

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

Pop your head off

 

[FailedWoman]

I'm curious what would be the use of the rope on the bridge?

A noose. Since the bridges over here aren't high enough.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I can relate. I seem to have turned into one of those people that makes threats of suicide, uses it as emotional blackmail or to solicit pity. Its not true however, I'm serious, just can't bring myself to do it and still reaching out for help that I know is not there.

I guess that is human nature: fight when you can, flee when you can't fight or freeze when you can't do either.

 

[medusa]

t

I am so envious of people here that are ballsy enough to ctb. My life is so fucked to the point that I am ready to go but at the same time I don't even know what to do.

I just feel like I'm all talk of suicide but no bite. I am just so confused. Fuck.

All my life I have been nothing but a fucking loser. And now even to kms I can't even do it. Fuck. Just someone kill me :/

Sorry I just have a lot of thoughts that's all over the place. I'm near the end - I'm going to jump off the bridge into the waters when the time comes - I'm starting not to give a fuck about pain or suffering or some shit.

Fuck.

there is nothing to envy-every suicidal person had exactly the same struggle and thoughts as you. Just some of us were terrified and tired enought to do it.
If you are having so much doubt, maybe suicide is not for you? Is there no other way to fix your problem?
You decide.

 

[jaemus12]

t

there is nothing to envy-every suicidal person had exactly the same struggle and thoughts as you. Just some of us were terrified and tired enought to do it.
If you are having so much doubt, maybe suicide is not for you? Is there no other way to fix your problem?
You decide.

No. I have to go. It's just a matter of time. Sooner or later. I screwed everything up and I have nowhere to go.

I still don't know what's going to happen when I do the deed. I may pussy out, I may have doubts but I want to escape and I will do it eventually.

 

[Wantingpeace]

Thanks. I'm just frustrated. I hate myself :(

So many people saying they are losers etc on here. I don't believe in that. I do not think of people like that. Hope you find peace whatever you chose.