All i want for Christmas is to be happy

[FireFox]

I have been extremely depressed and suicidal since 21. I am 23. I am depressed because i have achieved nothing with my life and i am just lost. I dont know my purpose in my life and the future scares me so much. I am immature for my age and i am a failure. Seeing people my age getting married, moving citiy, doing big things ie becoming famous reality TV or activism.

I have lived for 23 years but have nothing to show for it and haven't got my life together.
-Unemployed, virgin, living at home with parents and waking up in the same neighbourhood i grew up in.

Everyday i wake up and feel like a failure.

I love Christmas and always have.

I dont want any presents all i want is to be happy.
I cant ever see myself being happy again. I realise life isnt for me. I dont belong here

 

[Ghost2211]

I’ll be alone on Christmas. Let’s all get wasted and have a SS party.

 

[WornOutLife]

Me too!
However, I know I'll be sad and depressed as usual, or even more!

 

[Wakawaka]

I’ll be alone on Christmas. Let’s all get wasted and have a SS party.

i'll drink with you guys haha
im sorry you're feeling this way fox, i wish these weeks could be easier for you

 

[Leiden]

I'm very sorry and I hope that you get your wish for Christmas ❤️

 

[Bigpink]

I'm to all intents alone on Xmas day. Get on the booze early and try to avoid dwelling on better Xmas past

 

[Ulisses]

do you have any method in mind?

 

[MrBlue]

I'm in the exact same place, I'm so far behind other people my age it'll be impossible for me to catch up or have any meaningful relationships with them.

I hope you get your christmas wish, or decent enough distractions to keep your mind busy throughout! :)

 

[Amina92]

So sorry that you in such situation, I'm 24 years old and depressed too for 2 years, I'm suffering post schizophrenic depression, went through really bad things. I'm on therapy for a year, there are some results, but they are so insignificant that I dont know should I live, should I give life a chance. Dont want ctb, but living this way is hard at the same time.

 

[raindrops]

I have lived for 23 years but have nothing to show for it and haven't got my life together.

i dont know you... and i always say this im good at assuming.

you say "nothing to show for it, havent got my life together" i say the same some days, but i think we do have something to show.
we know how to feel, we know what we want, as you said "happiness".... these people who 'have it all' in our eyes, well some of them dont know what they want, most have forgot gratitude, most go about their lives simply not caring, i bet some think theyre happy yet are not, they may be in the wrong job or rely on materialistic things. and as cheeeesy as it sounds, once you do get what you want, the simple things like a home, a job, or a partner or whatever it is you truly want you will feel gratitude, you will truly feel happiness, you will make the most of it, you will care and look at others and have a sincere heart.

as for the things you want, they will come at the right time, you find a job, theres a chance in finding a partner. you are not a failure.
whatever you choose and whatever you do i hope happiness finds you.
x

 

[LongNight]

I have been extremely depressed and suicidal since 21. I am 23. I am depressed because i have achieved nothing with my life and i am just lost. I dont know my purpose in my life and the future scares me so much. I am immature for my age and i am a failure. Seeing people my age getting married, moving citiy, doing big things ie becoming famous reality TV or activism.

I have lived for 23 years but have nothing to show for it and haven't got my life together.
-Unemployed, virgin, living at home with parents and waking up in the same neighbourhood i grew up in.

Everyday i wake up and feel like a failure.

I love Christmas and always have.

I dont want any presents all i want is to be happy.
I cant ever see myself being happy again. I realise life isnt for me. I dont belong here

23!!! You've got plenty of time to do stuff. Never never never compare yourself to whatever schmuck you used to know. People don't share all the garbage. They only share the good stuff, or what appears to be the good stuff. You can't trust that, and you'll probably never interact with most of those people again, so fuck all that.

 

[FireFox]

I’ll be alone on Christmas. Let’s all get wasted and have a SS party.

RoseyBird
Sorry to hear that. Every Christmas i think of the poor, homeless and the lonely. I feel very bad for these people. I listen to war is over by John Lennon. The song reminds me while we in the west enjoy our Christmas people are suffering around the world due humanity selfishness. War is man made creation. It is great song.

I send you merry Christmas message in your pm on Christmas eve. Normally on Christmas eve i go to church and bed afterwards.
Love
Firefox

So sorry that you in such situation, I'm 24 years old and depressed too for 2 years, I'm suffering post schizophrenic depression, went through really bad things. I'm on therapy for a year, there are some results, but they are so insignificant that I dont know should I live, should I give life a chance. Dont want ctb, but living this way is hard at the same time.

Amina92
Sorry to hear that. Sometimes i want to live then other times i want to die and other days i don't know .

It is fighting a war within your self
Sorry what is post schizophrenic depression? I never hear of it. I head of schizophrenia but not post schizophrenic depression.
What are you doing this Christmas?
Hope 2021 is kinder to you

23!!! You've got plenty of time to do stuff. Never never never compare yourself to whatever schmuck you used to know. People don't share all the garbage. They only share the good stuff, or what appears to be the good stuff. You can't trust that, and you'll probably never interact with most of those people again, so fuck all that.

LongNight

Sometimes i feel like i am running out of time.
We live in a world if you are young and successful society elevates you. More and more we are exposed to youth success
•forbes under 30 list
• celebrity culture
•Young people getting elected in to office. In the UK the youngest MP is a 23 year old.
Seeing all this it is hard not feel like a failure. I feel like i have done nothing with my life.
It doesn't help meeting people you went to school with being successful and having stable lives. Last year I went to a church party and the people i went to school were also there. Hearing what they have done with their lives is another reminder i am a failure.

It makes me cry sometimes that i dont know to be an adult and i dont have my own income and live at home. It is just everything. Sometimes i just cry because i am not where i am supposed to be.

When i was young i thought i wouldn't be living with my parents in my 20s and i would be living in a different city and i would have a boyfriend.

I worry the older get the less men will find me attractive, men like younger women. I am not attractive like the girls on tv shows,magazines etc. There is so much competition for men especially in this shallow world that cares about looks. At this point i will settle for any man than be single.

I am a graduate on benefits ( welfare)
Growing up people who are on benefits the ones i knew where either a dropout or a teen mum.

In the UK being on benefits is associated with failure. Shows like Jeremy Kyle, Benefits street show people on welfare as failures in life
I know people have it worse than me
Every day i feel like my life is a failure

 

[justanotherstar]

Feeling like a failure is a heavy burden to carry. I don’t know how to overcome the intense pain that comes along with feeling like a failure but I wanted to let you know you are not alone and send some hugs (if wanted). I think we will always lose the game if we are comparing ourselves to others, we’ll never be enough In our own eyes but I’d like to think there was a way to find peace with what we have achieved and find ways of getting the things we want in life, even if that is ultimately deciding to CTB. I hope you manage to enjoy your Christmas OP

 

[FireFox]

i dont know you... and i always say this im good at assuming.

you say "nothing to show for it, havent got my life together" i say the same some days, but i think we do have something to show.
we know how to feel, we know what we want, as you said "happiness".... these people who 'have it all' in our eyes, well some of them dont know what they want, most have forgot gratitude, most go about their lives simply not caring, i bet some think theyre happy yet are not, they may be in the wrong job or rely on materialistic things. and as cheeeesy as it sounds, once you do get what you want, the simple things like a home, a job, or a partner or whatever it is you truly want you will feel gratitude, you will truly feel happiness, you will make the most of it, you will care and look at others and have a sincere heart.

as for the things you want, they will come at the right time, you find a job, theres a chance in finding a partner. you are not a failure.
whatever you choose and whatever you do i hope happiness finds you.
x

Jump123
Thank you so much

I think most people when they are successful forget thier old lives( all the misery)

I also believe most parents forget their childhood , teenagers and thier 20s because if they didn't they would know how to listen to thier children in distress and actually know to how advise and confort thier children.

I hope one day i can forget this period of my life.
-Being unemployed and on welfare

-constantly suicidal and incapable of experiencing real happiness

 

[TotallyIsolated]

Awww I know it’s trite and I’m sure you’re sick of hearing it but you’re so young. Don’t be so hard on yourself. At 23 your life is just beginning.

I know that being unemployed sucks but it doesn’t define you. Also it’s 2020 and the whole world is a burning mess. I really don’t think you can be blamed for there being no jobs out there!

Also being a virgin at 23 really isn’t a big deal. Give yourself a chance to meet people and just relax. You’re clearly a thoughtful and emotionally articulate person. You’ll do fine.