ItsMe-Hecked
Student
- Dec 30, 2021
- 123
It wouldn't have taken much to make me happy. Just having one person; a girlfriend or a best friend who cares about me, who I could be myself around. Someone who wouldn't only be around me because I could benefit them, but because we mutually cared about each-others well-being. I wanted to live on the mountains with little technology, with my own source of food. I just wanted to drop out of society with someone, and die peacefully of old age. No conflict. No horrible people forcing me to change how I am. No one to please. It would've been a dream come true.
People on this site can comment all they want about how I'm "being unrealistic" and how "my parents don't owe me anything, and I should try to go back to school", but I would argue that they (at least did) owe me at least this. They would either owe me a way out of this endless suffering, or they could leave me be. Seriously. How fucking much would it harm them for them to just let me be in my room most of the time, occasionally do chores for them, and occasionally eat food. (I rarely eat as is, and I would even VSED if it meant I could have a fairly laid back, peaceful week.) They owed me that much. They shouldn't have forced me into a world that pumped pure, constant suffering into my ass, and then expect me to take their demands. I deserved contentedness; I deserved a life where I could've at least have been calm. Sometimes I just feel like all I can do is lash out. Not going to, though. When I leave, I won't have the desire to lash out anymore because I'll be gone. Can't change the past though, I am over it. I'm CTBing when my package gets here. Also my birthday is soon, which pisses me off.
People on this site can comment all they want about how I'm "being unrealistic" and how "my parents don't owe me anything, and I should try to go back to school", but I would argue that they (at least did) owe me at least this. They would either owe me a way out of this endless suffering, or they could leave me be. Seriously. How fucking much would it harm them for them to just let me be in my room most of the time, occasionally do chores for them, and occasionally eat food. (I rarely eat as is, and I would even VSED if it meant I could have a fairly laid back, peaceful week.) They owed me that much. They shouldn't have forced me into a world that pumped pure, constant suffering into my ass, and then expect me to take their demands. I deserved contentedness; I deserved a life where I could've at least have been calm. Sometimes I just feel like all I can do is lash out. Not going to, though. When I leave, I won't have the desire to lash out anymore because I'll be gone. Can't change the past though, I am over it. I'm CTBing when my package gets here. Also my birthday is soon, which pisses me off.