All available suicide methods are either painful or very hard to gather material for.

[kkkangkkk]

I know it's nothing new to a lot of people on this forum, but it's just so frustrating when you are on your last straw and you just want to die peacefully and quietly on your bed. But nope. They made it so hard that even when you are in so much pain you still have to be more miserable in order to escape from this world.

What's worse is that it's literally impossible to kill yourself when you are living with your family. And if you have a failed attempt, they make you feel worse than before. I have been blamed for being a bad example for my siblings. Once my cousin wasn't behaving so her mom confiscated her phone, she said she's going to kill herself (without any intention of doing so). And who gets blamed, me.

I really wish I am more tolerant to pain so I can just stab myself to death.

 

[yellowroses]

I feel this so much. I've gone through every "easily available" method, none of them worked. The thought that everything is probably going to come down to me just slitting my wrists or jumping off a bridge sucks so much- I've been through so much already and just want to die a quiet, painless death. Wishing you peace

 

[kkkangkkk]

I feel this so much. I've gone through every "easily available" method, none of them worked. The thought that everything is probably going to come down to me just slitting my wrists or jumping off a bridge sucks so much- I've been through so much already and just want to die a quiet, painless death. Wishing you peace

Honestly I don't know why it's so hard for me to overdose on pills when I see people ODing on the news all the time. Maybe I don't have strong enough pills. The struggle is real when I don't even know where to get non-otc drugs.

 

[yellowroses]

Honestly I don't know why it's so hard for me to overdose on pills when I see people ODing on the news all the time. Maybe I don't have strong enough pills. The struggle is real when I don't even know where to get non-otc drugs.

I would really not recommend trying to overdose, even on prescription drugs. My last major attempt was an overdose, took three different medications (an antidepressant, a stimulant, and an antipsychotic)- an entire bottle of each of the antidepressants and antipsychotics, and three months worth of the stimulant. In theory, should've been enough to send a fucking horse into cardiac arrest. All I had to show for it were two weeks of heart palpitations. I made a post awhile ago saying this but it bears repeating: I have no goddamn clue how *anyone* manages to die by accident.

 

[kkkangkkk]

I would really not recommend trying to overdose, even on prescription drugs. My last major attempt was an overdose, took three different medications (an antidepressant, a stimulant, and an antipsychotic)- an entire bottle of each of the antidepressants and antipsychotics, and three months worth of the stimulant. In theory, should've been enough to send a fucking horse into cardiac arrest. All I had to show for it were two weeks of heart palpitations. I made a post awhile ago saying this but it bears repeating: I have no goddamn clue how *anyone* manages to die by accident.

Yeah I have attempted three times because it just seems like the least painful method and easiest. The first two times my family discovered me and sent me to the hospital. The third time I just end up puking everything out. It's getting harder to swallow pills too as I get older. I wish there's a button I can push and just be done with.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

.............when I see people ODing on the news all the time.

Are they ODing on pills, or are they ODing on fentanyl or heroin. I would suspect the latter. Big difference.

 

[kkkangkkk]

Are they ODing on pills, or are they ODing on fentanyl or heroin. I would suspect the latter. Big difference.

I honestly thought about trying that, except I have been a goodie goodie suppressed Asian all my life and I have no idea where to get them. It might be expensive but I think if I could get it to work in one try I can afford it.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's just so incredibly inhumane how we cannot just leave this world in a guaranteed way in peace, in fact it's criminal to me trying to force people to suffer until they die, it isn't like any of us are obligated to continue enduring this existence we were burdened with.

And I certainly understand that it's so dreadful feeling trapped here when you just wish to leave, the fact that this society is so disgustingly anti-suicide just leads to unnecessary torture, it repulses me how suicide isn't accepted as the relieving thing it truly is, as suicide is the option to find true relief from suffering, it's compassionate letting people leave in peace.

 

[jbear824]

I feel this and I feel so trapped because of it. The misery, and the long, slow painful nAtUrAl death that awaits me has me terrified. And I'm gonna be homeless, so I won't even get to suffer in relative comfort as it were. Nope I get to wait for death as the trash of society. I would love to get SN, but I dont have the ability to get the other required materials for the most peaceful regiment. I'm too afraid of pain to do other more violent methods. I'm too empathetic to jump in traffic or something and make someone else responsible for my death.

I'm stuck here until my body stops functioning on its own unfortunately.

 

[odazai]

I know it's nothing new to a lot of people on this forum, but it's just so frustrating when you are on your last straw and you just want to die peacefully and quietly on your bed. But nope. They made it so hard that even when you are in so much pain you still have to be more miserable in order to escape from this world.

What's worse is that it's literally impossible to kill yourself when you are living with your family. And if you have a failed attempt, they make you feel worse than before. I have been blamed for being a bad example for my siblings. Once my cousin wasn't behaving so her mom confiscated her phone, she said she's going to kill herself (without any intention of doing so). And who gets blamed, me.

I really wish I am more tolerant to pain so I can just stab myself to death.

I feel you

 

[assisted]

I know it's nothing new to a lot of people on this forum, but it's just so frustrating when you are on your last straw and you just want to die peacefully and quietly on your bed. But nope. They made it so hard that even when you are in so much pain you still have to be more miserable in order to escape from this world.

What's worse is that it's literally impossible to kill yourself when you are living with your family. And if you have a failed attempt, they make you feel worse than before. I have been blamed for being a bad example for my siblings. Once my cousin wasn't behaving so her mom confiscated her phone, she said she's going to kill herself (without any intention of doing so). And who gets blamed, me.

I really wish I am more tolerant to pain so I can just stab myself to death.

i relate

I feel this so much. I've gone through every "easily available" method, none of them worked. The thought that everything is probably going to come down to me just slitting my wrists or jumping off a bridge sucks so much- I've been through so much already and just want to die a quiet, painless death. Wishing you peace

same. my heart goes out to you

Honestly I don't know why it's so hard for me to overdose on pills when I see people ODing on the news all the time. Maybe I don't have strong enough pills. The struggle is real when I don't even know where to get non-otc drugs.

me too. too many "miracles" ://// the amount of ndes ive had... i barely feel human

I would really not recommend trying to overdose, even on prescription drugs. My last major attempt was an overdose, took three different medications (an antidepressant, a stimulant, and an antipsychotic)- an entire bottle of each of the antidepressants and antipsychotics, and three months worth of the stimulant. In theory, should've been enough to send a fucking horse into cardiac arrest. All I had to show for it were two weeks of heart palpitations. I made a post awhile ago saying this but it bears repeating: I have no goddamn clue how *anyone* manages to die by accident.

i feel you on this

Yeah I have attempted three times because it just seems like the least painful method and easiest. The first two times my family discovered me and sent me to the hospital. The third time I just end up puking everything out. It's getting harder to swallow pills too as I get older. I wish there's a button I can push and just be done with.

for what it's worth, if anything all, you're not alone
internet hugs are available :(

 

[Aplev]

At least I am not alone. That's what I try to repeat to myself to not go absolutely crazy and make the rest of my life even worse than it already is.

But yes, so similar here. I relate so much to all of the comments in this thread. I am too empathetic to make someone else feel responsible for my death (even if maybe they really don't care and they'll get through it, who knows). I am too scared of pain to try the most violent methods. I have no idea where to get so many materials. I don't have contacts, or whatever other people have that they manage to get heroin or so many other materials that I honestly have no idea how the %$#% they got.

I attempted two times in the past, one with overdosis and alcohol, the other with rats poison, because honestly that's as far as I can go, I can't endure anything stronger than that, that's the truth as much as it pains me to say so. I am not capable of putting myself to sleep to see if I got the right place for a partial hanging method, or cutting my wraists without stopping half-way and just cry helplessly. Some people say living is harder than dying, but I think it's the other way around. At least for me it is. I don't know how other people can inflict damage to themselves so easily. Maybe I haven't been inflicted enough pain? But I've been through so much suffering. How much more to gather the energy to do something even more intense?

I would expect people to be more compassionate after a suicide attempt. But that's not how this sick world works. What I got for trying to peacefully leave this world without exposing anyone to anything too violent was judgmental looks, hostile tones of voice, words like "make sure he takes all the pills". And for trying to have a better life by doing therapy, I got a "professional" (or rather, someone that claims to be a professional and that is claimed to be a professional I'd say) to tell me that "if you tried overdosis, then I'll be rolling on the floor laughing" (original expression in Spanish was "me $#"$! de la risa", but it has pretty much the same meaning). I didn't want to talk about my method for a natural fear to be judged as just trying to call attention, but in the end, that's exactly what happened, because when you are someone like me, you just can't escape judgment and pain. That's how the world works for people like me.

And time goes on and on, and you just degrade more and more. Your body aches more and more, your mind feels more and more sloppy, it takes more and more effort to keep it working, you take more pills/remedies, you go through more and more treatments... it doesn't get any better. It just doesn't.

And then people die by accident. Easily. And I am still here, no matter how hard I try. It's almost as if an external force wanted revenge on me, and there's absolutely nothing I can do to ease their wrath.

All that is left is for my body to stop functioning. In the meanwhile, I just don't have any other choice but to see how other people got away with inflicting me so much pain and suffering, and to see with my own eyes and senses how my mind, body and heart degrade more and more each day. That's the way that it is.