Aliens Telling Me To Suicide

[releasespieces]

I'll preface this post by saying that I've been diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses over the last 25 years.

I have no one to talk to really and if I tell my counselor this they'll lock me up for sure. I have conversations in my head that at one time I would believe were coming from god, but then at another point I was convinced were coming from aliens. I'm now an atheist, but these conversations continue all the same, more of a coping mechanism for stress and depression it would seem. These aren't audible voices in the vein of schizophrenia, but just silent, intrusive thoughts that don't feel as if they are coming from me, more of an outside source. They always tell me things like "we love you" and "we" this and that... always we, it's never a solitary thing.

Just recently I had some deeper internal dialog going and they told me I should CTB because the world is headed for cataclysmic disasters and I need to leave. I've never felt at home here on earth and things are just getting worse and worse for me personally. I can never find a place to live, I'm always jumping from a variety of transient, uncomfortable situations. Staying with parents or friends, transitional housing or currently subsidized housing where things appear to be going really poorly and I'm preparing for eviction.

Ive had issues with messianic complex before and I've always felt since I was maybe 6 years old that I was an alien. Always a theme of Im here to help humanity and save the world, but that it's gone horribly wrong and my mission was a bust. These "aliens" have basically told me that I failed and that it's time to leave here. You can only imagine the stress that would put someone under if they actually believed this were true, you were here to save humanity and you failed essentially.

They were just convincing me that the pain of death wouldn't be nearly as bad as I'm making it out to be and that once it was over I would feel a great sense of relief. I don't know what I'm looking for by sharing this with the community, but I just wanted to get it off my chest somehow, somewhere.

 

[deathissosad]

Have you ever heard about those 2 brothers in brazil who died mysteriously with lead glasses on their faces and in their notebook it was like alien related. Im too lazy to type the whole thing out but they took pills (no autopsy was done so its a mystery to this day) but they did that put the glasses on and went to the Rendezvous point and were found there on this hill. In the notes it was like thats where the aliens will grab is

 

[releasespieces]

No … but I might look into it.
This here? Quick google search, wiki… https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lead_masks_case

 

[Grav]

Two Brazilian Men Died After Contacting With ETs In 1966, UFO Spotted In Area

In 1966, the bodies of two men were found on a hill in the suburbs of Rio de Janeiro with strange lead masks on their eyes who according to many people died after making contact with aliens.

www.howandwhys.com

That's the story.

 

[releasespieces]

They sound hella nuts for sure. Most likely psychedelic psychosis. A lot of my delusional thoughts are derived from head injuries, genetics and psychedelic drug use. There are logical explanations for all of it, but it doesn't make it seem less real for me, that's for sure.

 

[swanlife]

Tell a doc that you hear voices but not about killing yourself. You will get medication without going in a psych ward

 

[releasespieces]

Tell a doc that you hear voices but not about killing yourself. You will get medication without going in a psych ward

Well I've been diagnosed with schizophrenia in the past, but I don't hear any audible voices at this time. They're more like somewhat unsolicited advice, but a typical internal dialog that occurs, I would guess, in most peoples minds. It's quite possible that I'm just hearing my own thoughts, just in a particular format. It's probably just some form of escape for me because my life is boring but stressful as hell in some regards. Thanks for the advice, but I quite simply do not do psychotropic medication. Been there and done that… got me nowhere except health issues, weight gain, hair loss, lethargy, etc. I think those chemicals are a bunch of bullshit.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Tbf though you're able to mentally distance yourself from what you're experiencing, analyze it well, and type it all out really coherently. I would say that's a positive. I wonder what's causing it, however. Schizophrenia is definitely associated with actual audio/visual hallucinations. Maybe you just have some form of overactive subconscious.

 

[releasespieces]

I agree. I've been able to sort it out with a very objective scientific approach for some time now. I'm not sure why I do it really.