Venting Alienation

[Trakehner]

I feel totally forlorn in this world. I legitimately have nobody in my life who I trust or feel any real connection to. I can't relate to anyone and do not understand how normal people function. In a similar manner, others perceive me as a weirdo. I never fit into any group or community which leaves me feeling even more isolated. I have no way of communicating with anyone besides online.

No one takes my depression seriously, and it's dismissed as "laziness" and "not being grateful". My anxiety is just me "not trying hard enough". My lack of social skills are viewed as rudeness and also a result of "not trying hard enough". They genuinely believe that I choose to be this way. As if one would actively decide make their life 100x more difficult for absolutely no reason.

All I wish is that someone or something could make this meaningless existence at least tolerable for the last year or so of my life before I die. It pains me to see literally everyone else living fulfilling lives while I barely have to energy to leave my bed most days.

 

[iloverachel]

I can definitely relate and feel your pain
I have been an outcast my entire life. Ignored, rejected, treated like a worthless cockroach everywhere I go.

Doesn't matter, I'll be dead soon hopefully.

I hope you find a community or group of friends to make you feel less alienated

 

[juna]

It pains me to see literally everyone else living fulfilling lives while I barely have to energy to leave my bed most days.

I feel the same. I wonder how other people are able to handle their lives while I can't even get up from my own bed most of the days. At this point, I am so exhausted, I don't even care if the future will be better, I just want this to end. The saddest thing is no one understands. And I know even after I die, they will not understand my pain, they will just say I felt lonely or so, which is far from truth. It's just tiring. I wish I had died years ago when everything was easier. Now, even dying appears difficult to do.