Agorophobia anyone?

[downndone2]

Anyone else on here have agorophobia? I have literally been homebound for a few yrs now. It has been really bad. If you've read my previous posts, you know my series of unfortunate events. I've got a broken heart and soul.
How do you guys deal with this awful condition?
On top of everything else. I have chronic medical conditions, a nerve condition, heart issues, chronic pain, etc. I cannot even the house to see a fucking doctor.
I never dreamed in all my life that my life would turn out to be such s living hellish nightmare.
I have to wait to ctb until 2023 due to life insurance. I hope every night that I dont wake up...

 

[bing]

Yeah kinda agoraphobic for the past 3 years. No real fear when I get groceries or anything. But now I'm housebound since I lost my job. Haven't left in 1-2 weeks now at all

 

[downndone2]

I work remotely. Get most everything delivered. It is awful

 

[Why Me?]

I feel like I'm forced to live a agoraphobic lifestyle, because the house I live in is filthy, so I only feel comfortable in my bedroom, so I avoid leaving it. I'm practically in my bedroom 24/7. I don't have much money, I can't drive, I have severe social anxiety, I think I look & feel horrible, my dental is horrible. The person who's house it is doesn't want me in the backyard where the neighbors can see, because I'm black, even though he is a junky obese man. Usually I'm too cold to leave the bed, because he refuses to put the heat up, but now that it's getting warmer outside, it will be a battle to get AC. I have no energy because of depression & medical problems, this guy is some sort of filthy hoarder that does not want me to clean, but refuses to clean anything. I've been here for years because I lost my apartment, and I haven't made enough money to get back on my feet. I haven't left this house in months, because I haven't had an outside errand. My sister lives nearby and knows the situation, but only brings me food now that I've lost my income, she won't invite me over to her luxury place cause she doesn't want me there, she's a narcissist who contributed to the downfall of my life. Anybody else in my shoes I'm sure would have CBTed a long time ago. I would love to be healthy, have my own place, car (be able to drive) enjoy nature, go shopping, and be a princess, but this is my life at 41 after trying so hard thru the injustice, and misery, this is terrible.

 

[FuneralCry]

I often find it very difficult to leave the house, to me it is unbearable the thought of going somewhere with many people. I prefer to be alone, there is nowhere that I want to go anyway. Life is so depressing and there is nothing here for me in this world. It is sad to hear how much some people suffer, it is such a cruel and unfair world we live in.

 

[roo]

yeah i havent left my house since january 6th, im in my final year of school too so ive missed some of my final exams...

 

[downndone2]

I'm sorry. Do you have plans to find a new job? What were you doing before you lost your job? I cant imagine being confined to one room all the time, living with a hoarder, etc. My social anxiety was non-existent in 2018 but since 2019 has been really bad. 2020 sealed my fate. This year I've nit been in a public place. Just went out in my car to drive thrus, etc

I often find it very difficult to leave the house, to me it is unbearable the thought of going somewhere with many people. I prefer to be alone, there is nowhere that I want to go anyway. Life is so depressing and there is nothing here for me in this world. It is sad to hear how much some people suffer, it is such a cruel and unfair world we live in.

Yes, it is. I certainly understand your feelings. 4 years ago I was normal but it all went to shit

I feel like I'm forced to live a agoraphobic lifestyle, because the house I live in is filthy, so I only feel comfortable in my bedroom, so I avoid leaving it. I'm practically in my bedroom 24/7. I don't have much money, I can't drive, I have severe social anxiety, I think I look & feel horrible, my dental is horrible. The person who's house it is doesn't want me in the backyard where the neighbors can see, because I'm black, even though he is a junky obese man. Usually I'm too cold to leave the bed, because he refuses to put the heat up, but now that it's getting warmer outside, it will be a battle to get AC. I have no energy because of depression & medical problems, this guy is some sort of filthy hoarder that does not want me to clean, but refuses to clean anything. I've been here for years because I lost my apartment, and I haven't made enough money to get back on my feet. I haven't left this house in months, because I haven't had an outside errand. My sister lives nearby and knows the situation, but only brings me food now that I've lost my income, she won't invite me over to her luxury place cause she doesn't want me there, she's a narcissist who contributed to the downfall of my life. Anybody else in my shoes I'm sure would have CBTed a long time ago. I would love to be healthy, have my own place, car (be able to drive) enjoy nature, go shopping, and be a princess, but this is my life at 41 after trying so hard thru the injustice, and misery, this is terrible.

I'm sorry. Do you have plans to find a new job? What were you doing before you lost your job? I cant imagine being confined to one room all the time, living with a hoarder, etc. My social anxiety was non-existent in 2018 but since 2019 has been really bad. 2020 sealed my fate. This year I've nit been in a public place. Just went out in my car to drive thrus, etc

 

[Foresight]

Yes I have agoraphobia. I never leave my house anymore. I get anxious stepping onto my lawn. There's no real cure for me because I actually am attacked when I'm in public. I'll be tucked away until I die.

It's not so bad. It's oddly comforting in your own little world. The internet helps.

I'm sorry you transitioned to this lifestyle in so little time. I always had social anxiety. I can't imagine going from nonexistent social anxiety to full agoraphobic. That must be a difficult internal shift.

 

[downndone2]

Yes I have agoraphobia. I never leave my house anymore. I get anxious stepping onto my lawn. There's no real cure for me because I actually am attacked when I'm in public. I'll be tucked away until I die.

It's not so bad. It's oddly comforting in your own little world. The internet helps.

I'm sorry you transitioned to this lifestyle in so little time. I always had social anxiety. I can't imagine going from nonexistent social anxiety to full agoraphobic. That must be a difficult internal shift.

I am sorry, I feel the same outside. It is awful existence imo. I think of the vacations I used to take, the way the sand felt on my feet and the ocean, the restaurants, long drives, the sun on my skin, the sunsets, etc. I havent felt the sun on my skin in months.
I hate living like this but since everything happened to me, I feel hopeless and helpless

 

[Foresight]

Aw man, I can relate. When I used to drive for fun. Beach trips and restaurant dinners with loved ones. All just a memory. I try to open the window when I can. I think lack of time outside can destroy human health. I can tell by your description you know this life deeply. I hope you get some sun from the windows. I try to stand outside at night too. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, it's just difficult.

 

[downndone2]

Aw man, I can relate. When I used to drive for fun. Beach trips and restaurant dinners with loved ones. All just a memory. I try to open the window when I can. I think lack of time outside can destroy human health. I can tell by your description you know this life deeply. I hope you get some sun from the windows. I try to stand outside at night too. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, it's just difficult.

Yeah, I feel it has ruined my health, I feel like a freaking vampire. Everything is a trigger and my anxiety is exhausting. If I do leave, it is literally at night.

 

[LivideLamb]

Yes. It's been years and it's growing all more tiresome. I'm really tired of not doing what I want to do. I can confidently say that my agoraphobia has been less severe than some years ago, which just means that if someone can drive me to the supermarket and hold my hand all the time when we're in the store, like a freaking infant, then yes I can shop and act like a stable human being.
I can't do anything alone. I wanna go on a walk, go to the bakery, lose myself in the forest, explore the world all around me, yet whenever I go out the crushing weight of the world, panic attacks, and dissociation, everything seems too much. Last week, for the first time in two years, I took my bike and rode around the block. I'm tired of it.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I've been a shut-in for 9 months…

 

[waitingforrest]

Leaving the house always makes me even more convinced to stay in. Somehow I always manage to see something that makes me feel worse. I sometimes wish I can go somewhere far away from people so I can go out without fear.

 

[lili]

My psychiatrist has been saying I have this recently and I never thought about it before.

I usually can spend one to two weeks with never leaving the house. And sometimes I've spent a month in here or a little more. It never really dawned on me it might be this, although I still am in denial. I always find a way to justify in my head as to why I didn't leave the house. Whether it was me having to do a lot of stuff in my house or not.

But I do have to say that when the pandemic happened and people stayed at their homes, I was already quite used to sometimes never leaving the house in a month or longer. Sometimes 2 months.

I feel like I don't like this though, I wish I could go outside. But then I can't find the energy to go outside. This usually happens during depression.

But even when I'm not depressed at all for some reason I justify in my brain reasons to not go outside because I'm too busy doing work or I have a bunch of stuff to do.

Wish I could figure this out.

 

[its-about-time]

I wouldn't say I have proper agoraphobia. I just have a lot of anxiety and other negative feelings when leaving the house, so I generally don't. I keep black-out curtains drawn and stay inside. But I do get to feeling motivated enough to leave the house sometimes. This last month I've had more motivation but I feel myself returning to not stepping out even for a cigarette. It's not fun at my level, I imagine true agoraphobia is much worse.