Ages of members.

[Moreofthesamepain]

Seems to be so many younger people here. I see so many posts about parents finding you. You gotta give yourself a chance to live and figure out who you are and what you're made of. We all have pain. Everyone does. What makes some of you who are younger want to die? We all have our reasons, but I'm just wondering. I'm not questioning your feelings at all, or judging anyone, just trying to understand better. Were all suffering from something, or we wouldn't have found this site. I'm 51 BTW, been suicidal since 2007 but the love of my family and friends has kept me alive so far.

 

[Blutsager]

For me? fear of this Pandemia, and what world it may leave behind. That's all there is to it. I have a job, even now working from home. It's a good job, with a good wage, at least for my extremely poor country's standards. I live with an extremely lovely mom, an inspiring and wonderful woman.
Even right now, amid the pandemia, I still have a job, I am comfy at home, still find moments of joy. So I would be fine. But I am still bracing for the worse. An apocalyptic nightmare I dread and refuse to live. I won't suicide, not yet... but I wannt to be ready, both in supplies and mentally, to quit before enduring horrible things to come.

 

[Moreofthesamepain]

For me? fear of this Pandemia, and what world it may leave behind. That's all there is to it. I have a job, even now working from home. It's a good job, with a good wage, at least for my extremely poor country's standards. I live with an extremely lovely mom, an inspiring and wonderful woman.
Even right now, amid the pandemia, I still have a job, I am comfy at home, still find moments of joy. So I would be fine. But I am still bracing for the worse. An apocalyptic nightmare I dread and refuse to live. I won't suicide, not yet... but I wannt to be ready, both in supplies and mentally, to quit before enduring horrible things to come.

I'm afraid of it too. We've never seen anything like this and it's very scary. Sounds though like you are in a good place right now so you stay safe! You sound as though you have a great mom who loves you. Let her help give you strength. Its okay to be afraid, lots of us are sweetheart!

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

You gotta give yourself a chance to live and figure out who you are and what you're made of -- sounds like a command.

We all have pain. Everyone does -- what page of the pro-life handbook is that from?

I'm not questioning your feelings at all, or judging anyone, just trying to understand better -- but you've already told them what to do before asking, and you can read a plethora of posts where people have explained.

I'm 51 BTW, been suicidal since 2007 but the love of my family and friends has kept me alive so far -- how fortunate you are. I myself am 49 BTW, and I think your OP is contradictory, minimizing, and pro-lifey.




This is not the first such mom-sounding thread posted this week, seems maybe pro-lifers are bored again. If you read the Rules and FAQ, especially the intro, you'll get some good info about what pro-choice is and what this site is about. If you're not a pro-lifer you'll get why your OP is disrespectful to the adults you're addressing here.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/rules-and-faq.4/

Here's some other things I and a few other folks on SS wish the site's detractors knew, addressed directly to them since we know they read the site anyway:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/what-do-you-wish-detractors-knew-about-this-forum.30355/

 

[Blutsager]

I'm afraid of it too. We've never seen anything like this and it's very scary. Sounds though like you are in a good place right now so you stay safe! You sound as though you have a great mom who loves you. Let her help give you strength. Its okay to be afraid, lots of us are sweetheart!

Thank you, my friend. I dunno what to tell you. I am frustrated by my fears as you have well said, I am in a good position. I should stop whining. I don't know what to tell you.

I hope you are in a good place too. And that you are being able to find moments of happiness today. That you may live one day at a time. I am trying to.

 

[mediocre]

I have been suicidal since age 12 and it's been continuous since then. I am 27 now and things have only gotten worse. I definitely knew from an early age that I couldn't deal with life and shouldn't be here...

 

[WinterFaust]

I'm 26 so I guess I'm not that young anymore. Had an SO and friends before that kept me going. That's no longer the case and hasn't been for a year. Generally a failure as an adult. Unemployed, debt and poor credit, currently live with my mom. Physical issues from self neglect during this ongoing depressive episode. Bipolar and possible BPD. I think I'd be able to fare better if I weren't all alone but currently don't have any reason to get better and find someone one day. Besides, I got the message loud and clear when everyone left. Too much to handle, not worth it.

 

[RileyTanaka]

Besides, I got the message loud and clear when everyone left. Too much to handle, not worth it.

Goddamn, I so feel this statement. It hurts like a bitch doesn't it?

 

[Moreofthesamepain]

You gotta give yourself a chance to live and figure out who you are and what you're made of -- sounds like a command.

We all have pain. Everyone does -- what page of the pro-life handbook is that from?

I'm not questioning your feelings at all, or judging anyone, just trying to understand better -- but you've already told them what to do before asking, and you can read a plethora of posts where people have explained.

I'm 51 BTW, been suicidal since 2007 but the love of my family and friends has kept me alive so far -- how fortunate you are. I'm 49 BTW, and I think your message is contradictory, minimizing, and pro-lifey.

This is not the first such mom-sounding thread posted this week, seems pro-lifers are bored again. If you read the Rules and FAQ, especially the intro, you'll get some good info about what pro-choice is and what this site is about.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/rules-and-faq.4/

Here's some other things I and a few other folks on SS wish the site's detractors knew, addressed directly to them since we know they read the site anyway:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/what-do-you-wish-detractors-knew-about-this-forum.30355/

It was just a question. It makes me sad to see young people in this situation. This is also a place to come for support. And, BTW my SN is sitting on my kitchen counter with my ibuprofen, Ativan, tagamet, and seroquel. Soooo...null point there. I'm not a prolifer and I have unsuccessfully hanged myself in the last 2 weeks, but si set in twice....ya can throw that out of your argument. I was curious as I don't seem to see as many people on our age range. So, judge as you wish.

 

[KleinerWolf]

The original post in this thread is unfortunately controversial since people should not assume other members' struggles nor mental health status,
categorising members into specific groups is also unnecessary and should be avoid in the future.

 

[Moreofthesamepain]

Thank you, my friend. I dunno what to tell you. I am frustrated by my fears as you have well said, I am in a good position. I should stop whining. I don't know what to tell you.

I hope you are in a good place too. And that you are being able to find moments of happiness today. That you may live one day at a time. I am trying to.

I'm alive for my elderly parents. I've been researching my ctb method. Charcoal was my choice, but seems very unreliable and hard to really find a place to do this. Si kicked in for partial suspension, so I've settled on sn when the time comes. I am only still here be ause of my family
Its my first thought in the morning...how will I survive today? I'm trying that's all I can say. Today a chat with an old friend helped. Well see about tomorrow.

I have been suicidal since age 12 and it's been continuous since then. I am 27 now and things have only gotten worse. I definitely knew from an early age that I couldn't deal with life and shouldn't be here...

I can relate. Its like destiny is telling me I was made for it. But I'm not quite ready. Been at the bottle of the barrel since June and I'm trying to hang on for my family as im truly blessed in that regard. I'm the fuck up, not them.

Thank you, my friend. I dunno what to tell you. I am frustrated by my fears as you have well said, I am in a good position. I should stop whining. I don't know what to tell you.

I hope you are in a good place too. And that you are being able to find moments of happiness today. That you may live one day at a time. I am trying to.

You are where you are. This is a horrifying time and I'm not at all minimizing your pain. I share it

Thank you, my friend. I dunno what to tell you. I am frustrated by my fears as you have well said, I am in a good position. I should stop whining. I don't know what to tell you.

I hope you are in a good place too. And that you are being able to find moments of happiness today. That you may live one day at a time. I am trying to.

You are where you are. This is a horrifying time and I'm not at all minimizing your pain. I share it

This post is unfortunately controversial since people should not assume other members' struggles nor mental health status,
categorising members into specific groups is also unnecessary and should be avoid in the future.

Wasn't intended to offend in any way, belittle anyone, or anything of the sort.. Just seems disproportionately younger folk. I may be wrong of course. Were here to support each other in our personal choices too, no matter what that may be. I'm suicidal myself. I understand it completely. Maybe I could have worded it better. My apologies.

This post is unfortunately controversial since people should not assume other members' struggles nor mental health status,
categorising members into specific groups is also unnecessary and should be avoid in the future.

Wasn't intended to offend in any way, belittle anyone, or anything of the sort.. Just seems disproportionately younger folk. I may be wrong of course. Were here to support each other in our personal choices too, no matter what that may be. I'm suicidal myself. I understand it completely. Maybe I could have worded it better. My apologies.

 

[KleinerWolf]

Wasn't intended to offend in any way, belittle anyone, or anything of the sort.. Just seems disproportionately younger folk. I may be wrong of course. Were here to support each other in our personal choices too, no matter what that may be. I'm suicidal myself. I understand it completely. Maybe I could have worded it better. My apologies.

It's all good mate don't worry.
We understand you meant well.

 

[MinnesotaSadness]

So young people should shut up and keep suffering because they're not qualified enough to be suicidal?
I thought the whole point of the forum was not to judge people's circumstances and allow anyone to freely talk about suicide. But I honestly see so many judgmental posts and pro-life ish comments on people catching the bus.
But at least it's much better than the entirely censored pro-life cult reddit is.

 

[KleinerWolf]

So young people should shut up and keep suffering because they're not qualified enough to be suicidal?
I thought the whole point of the forum was not to judge people's circumstances and allow anyone to freely talk about suicide. But I honestly see so many judgmental posts and pro-life ish comments on people catching the bus.
But at least it's much better than the entirely censored pro-life cult reddit is.

It's all good mate.
He has apologised.
You can't fault people for not knowing.
We are in this together.
Much love.

 

[SpareWheel]

I'm approaching 42 so I'm safe I think, I'm old enough to have lived long enough to declare I've lived far too long already.

It is sad seeing young people suicidal though I agree, part of me thinks their life could improve no end, then the other part of me thinks of young me and it never really did.

 

[Halnas]

I am 30 and i thought about suicide since around 12 and if i would have done it around the time when my education ended, it would have been just fine. When you are 18 (this forum is 18+) you already have some kind of idea of your capabilities. And you are able to tell if it is just a depressive period or if you are actually chronically thinking that it would be good if your life would end right there.

I really don't like those advises of "hold on, it will get better", because that "better" just means that you might get into something that distracts you from suicide. Maybe there really is some one-in-a-million case of somebody legitimately turning into a happy normie, but i bet that in most cases it just won't change at all. There was a thread here about when people first thought about suicide and most were thinking about it since early childhood.

The only time when "hold on" is a good advice is when it's an impulsive act or you are in a bad period. If you think about suicide when you are clear in the head, go ahead, no judgment.

 

[Moreofthesamepain]

So young people should shut up and keep suffering because they're not qualified enough to be suicidal?
I thought the whole point of the forum was not to judge people's circumstances and allow anyone to freely talk about suicide. But I honestly see so many judgmental posts and pro-life ish comments on people catching the bus.
But at least it's much better than the entirely censored pro-life cult reddit is.

That wasn't my intention at ALL and didn't mean to offend anyone. Pain is pain and young people have a lot of it, in ways some of us can't even imagine the horror some kids have had to endure, or choose to no longer endure via ctb! This is a support page too, hence the recovery page. Its just very sad to me that we live in a world where so many younger people have to be in that pain in the first place. That's my only point. My apologies if I've offended you.

 

[KleinerWolf]

I am 30 and i thought about suicide since around 12 and if i would have done it around the time when my education ended, it would have been just fine. When you are 18 (this forum is 18+) you already have some kind of idea of your capabilities. And you are able to tell if it is just a depressive period or if you are actually chronically thinking that it would be good if your life would end right there.

I really don't like those advises of "hold on, it will get better", because that "better" just means that you might get into something that distracts you from suicide. Maybe there really is some one-in-a-million case of somebody being legitimately totally happy, but i bet that in most cases it just won't change at all. There was a thread here about when people first thought about suicide and most were thinking about it since early childhood.

The only time when "hold on" is a good advice is when it's an impulsive act or you are in a bad period. If you think about suicide when you are clear in the head, go ahead, no judgment.

In my opinion it is important to define what it means by "clear in the head"
I know it has to be somewhat subject at end of the day
but people have got to try their best to think it through, I reckon it mostly come down to the following
a. is this temporary or is this permanent?
b. Even though things are so bad at this moment, is there anything practical I can do about this situation before I commit to ctb?

Think it through. It's worth it. Plenty of time to die. Just cant go back thats all. We wish you the best regardless.
Discretion will always be yours. No one can take it from you.

 

[Pryras]

I'll be 23 in a few months so I'm not sure if you'd consider me "young" but I think everyone's pain is valid and how they cope with it is very personal and something that may or may not change overtime.

I have experienced pain over and over again but while I do think it can get better, the same could be said about getting worse.
My personality, the way that I AM, the way my feelings manifest, is something that won't change. Because of this, pain is inevitable and not something I want experience again.

 

[Moreofthesamepain]

I am 30 and i thought about suicide since around 12 and if i would have done it around the time when my education ended, it would have been just fine. When you are 18 (this forum is 18+) you already have some kind of idea of your capabilities. And you are able to tell if it is just a depressive period or if you are actually chronically thinking that it would be good if your life would end right there.

I really don't like those advises of "hold on, it will get better", because that "better" just means that you might get into something that distracts you from suicide. Maybe there really is some one-in-a-million case of somebody legitimately turning into a happy normie, but i bet that in most cases it just won't change at all. There was a thread here about when people first thought about suicide and most were thinking about it since early childhood.

The only time when "hold on" is a good advice is when it's an impulsive act or you are in a bad period. If you think about suicide when you are clear in the head, go ahead, no judgment.

I agree with that too. When you have mental illness or trauma or other various reasons that make people want to ctb it's not like you can just turn it off. The only time you can turn it off is when your asleep- if you're lucky. You can get on medication but it doesn't take away the experiences. People generally mean well when they say hold on, that or they just don't want to hear it, or don't know what to say, I guess. It's hard to explain to people who would never consider ctb why anyone would do it. Its pretty much constant, unless as you said you can find a distraction from it. I think people can heal from trauma, or cope is maybe a better word, or they change their mind due to some new life circumstance or change (such as having kids maybe) and go on. But not everyone, obviously or we wouldn't need this forum to freely talk about it. Thanks for your comment

I'll be 23 in a few months so I'm not sure if you'd consider me "young" but I think everyone's pain is valid and how they cope with it is very personal and something that may or may not change overtime.

I have experienced pain over and over again but while I do think it can get better, the same could be said about getting worse.
My personality, the way that I AM, the way my feelings manifest, is something that won't change. Because of this, pain is inevitable and not something I want experience again.

Absolutely everyone's pain is valid. I appreciate your commrnts

 

[muffin222]

I'm 23. I had a very dysfunctional upbringing fraught with abuse and neglect and poverty. The scars and damage of my childhood still impact me to this day, though it has gotten somewhat easier as the years go by. I've done a lot of inner work on myself as well as meditation.
I'm also autistic. This made me a magnet for bullies during my school years. I was bullied regularly from age 10 until 15 when I switched schools, but the damage to my self-esteem was firmly etched into my mind by that point. It really warped my self-worth and my confidence. I've suffered from recurrent depressive episodes, anxiety, and other mental health issues as a result of my life experiences.

Sometimes I feel a great deal of despair over the extent of my psychological damage and the reality that, as much work as I've done and still CAN do to mitigate the effects of the trauma, I'll never be "normal". I'll always bear the scars and carry some level of pain, grief, and angst over my past wounds. That's just the nature of childhood trauma and bullying. It's quite a tough pill to swallow when you really think about it.

And I've thought endlessly about it

 

[Mistake of Nature]

I'm not that young (late 20's) but I've wanted to CTB since I was about 14. I knew then that I didn't belong here and that my life wasn't worth living. The nearly 15 years since then have only confirmed those beliefs. I deeply regret not ending it back then as I would've saved myself so much heartache and pain. The only thing keeping me alive now is my stupid SI.

 

[Moreofthesamepain]

Yeah , I had already decided to commit suicide before this Lockdown began but now to me the future seems like an apocalyptic nightmare world, no jobs etc. . So the future is now much worse for me and i think for everyone as there won't be any jobs in the future. A worldwide economic depression will happen because of this unprecedented lockdown.

I don't think people understand how everybody being locked in at home is destroying (has destroyed ) the economies of the world . This will lead to an apocaypitic world a nightmare world . There were a lot of jobs here in the USA before all this lockdown began but now i fear for the future of jobs . A lot of companies , small businesses are going out of business ( no customers etc. ) so how will they hire if they are no more?

My own small company with 2 employees had to shut down and I'm not sure I can recover as i was already struggling. Bankruptcy is probably next for me. I'm losing everything including my vehicle and have to move in with my parents so I have a place to live. I'm starting completely over again. Its very scary that all this is happening. I've been seriously considering ctb and looking for my method since January, before this all even started. This has just amplified it for me.

 

[SpareWheel]

I'm 23. I had a very dysfunctional upbringing fraught with abuse and neglect and poverty. The scars and damage of my childhood still impact me to this day, though it has gotten somewhat easier as the years go by. I've done a lot of inner work on myself as well as meditation.
I'm also autistic. This made me a magnet for bullies during my school years. I was bullied regularly from age 10 until 15 when I switched schools, but the damage to my self-esteem was firmly etched into my mind by that point. It really warped my self-worth and my confidence. I've suffered from recurrent depressive episodes, anxiety, and other mental health issues as a result of my life experiences.

Sometimes I feel a great deal of despair over the extent of my psychological damage and the reality that, as much work as I've done and still CAN do to mitigate the effects of the trauma, I'll never be "normal". I'll always bear the scars and carry some level of pain, grief, and angst over my past wounds. That's just the nature of childhood trauma and bullying. It's quite a tough pill to swallow when you really think about it.

And I've thought endlessly about it

Sorry you've had to go through all that. It's probably my age and rose tinted specs of my school years but I often forget just how cruel children can be, reading posts like yours reminds me of the Hell I saw some kids go through at school, I'm ashamed to admit I didn't do as much as I should have to help a lot of them, might have even been guilty of some mild bullying myself by proxy just being pally with the ones doing the bullying. It was always the weakest and most vulnerable that got targeted too, a lad whose mother died, a lad who was a Jehovahs witness, a girl that had some glandular issue which made her massively obese etc. Wouldn't shock me at all if all 3 of them had been on this site at some point. I like to think they all made successes of their lives and the hardship made them stronger, but I'll never know without joining Facebook, and there's more chance of me becoming Miss Universe.

 

[WhatIsMyLife]

I'm 23. Had depression since I was 14. Things have been up and down for me, but I've spiraled to a very low point in my life over the past eight months. I'm tired of pretending that I'm okay to people. I'm tired of sitting up at night with a sense of hopelessness that I can't shake. Things aren't improving for me anytime soon. And it eats me up everyday. It's awful, and I want the pain to end.

 

[I screwed up]

My own small company with 2 employees had to shut down and I'm not sure I can recover as i was already struggling. Bankruptcy is probably next for me. I'm losing everything including my vehicle and have to move in with my parents so I have a place to live. I'm starting completely over again. Its very scary that all this is happening. I've been seriously considering ctb and looking for my method since January, before this all even started. This has just amplified it for me.

Hey that's exactly my situation. Only diff is mine is (soon to be was) 3 employee company. This lockdown has wiped out everything ... live with parents now .. My desire to ctb has just become more intense n am more depressed than ever.

 

[Remember to forget]

I know this has upset a few people but I think this needs talking about in civslised manor.
How many times do we read stories about young people dying, killed etc and all over the news there is sorrow, tears and grief that sweeps the nation. Now change that to someone in their 50s plus, not so much of a reaction, a few tears but the reaction is that they got to 50 so had a life. It's human nature to want to protect the young and vulnerable, some have children the same age so let's not be to harsh. No one believes young people's struggles are any less real than those that are getting on a bit. To be honest my struggles were so much harder to deal with when I was younger, I was so lonley as a child so asking youngster to reach out is an important thing to discuss.

 

[Luchs]

Seems to be so many younger people here. I see so many posts about parents finding you. You gotta give yourself a chance to live and figure out who you are and what you're made of. We all have pain. Everyone does. What makes some of you who are younger want to die? We all have our reasons, but I'm just wondering. I'm not questioning your feelings at all, or judging anyone, just trying to understand better. Were all suffering from something, or we wouldn't have found this site. I'm 51 BTW, been suicidal since 2007 but the love of my family and friends has kept me alive so far.

I'm only somewhere around 20 and honestly, how my life went up to now was bad enough. My life fucked me over well enough that I'll never recover anyways.

 

[Halnas]

In my opinion it is important to define what it means by "clear in the head"
I know it has to be somewhat subject at end of the day
but people have got to try their best to think it through, I reckon it mostly come down to the following
a. is this temporary or is this permanent?
b. Even though things are so bad at this moment, is there anything practical I can do about this situation before I commit to ctb?

Think it through. It's worth it. Plenty of time to die. Just cant go back thats all. We wish you the best regardless.
Discretion will always be yours. No one can take it from you.

i agree, but people know this themselves very well. Especially here. I didn't see many posts from impulsive people here. Most stories are about people who thought about it for decades and they are very self-aware.
And you start with the premise that you have to be in a bad situation to consider to CTB. That is not true. Some people just ask themselves the question: "Why should i even keep existing?". The two people that i personally knew in RL who took the rope were all very well set up and had no known problems. I myself had a good or above-average life and still i am here. And even thought that some people would be jealous about what i had, at the best moment in my life i was just kind of ok with existing.

We read those "hold on, it gets better" a million times, so let me balance that a bit by extending those questions:
c. If you improve your situation, do you tHhink you won't consider suicide anymore? Would a better job and more money really make your life suddenly worth living?
d. What could be the best case that could happen? And if you commit suicide and miss the opportunity for that very unlikely best case, does it even matter?

 

[TVtrays]

I just turned 24, and I've had mental health issues since I was 8 and suicidal ideation since I was 11 or 12. My mental health has been so bad that i dropped out of college and I've wasted my youth and among a thousand other things I've discussed on this site, i don't see a way forward for me.