Aftermath of bipolar mania

[Ruffian]

Does anyone else here look back on things you did in mania with complete shame? I do every time. This last time was not as bad as other episodes, I guess. I'm broke, which is actually a good thing, because if I had money it would all be gone. That is my most reckless behavior, I get the sexual charge as well, but luckily I've never gone outside of a relationship to act that out. I definitely get the aggressive part, but it's more verbal. I've wanted to get physically aggressive with doctors before, and quite frankly, they had it coming. I know enough now to not engage in situations were physical aggression could.be an issue.

There used to be a lot of support forums for bipolar people, but they seem harder to find, and there are few responses. They really helped with processing manic episode. Now I can only find articles, which I don't find all that helpful. Any bipolar people here to chime in? I also think I'm at the greatest risk for suicide during mania. I'm so used to the thoughts during depression, but I get very strong impulses during mania. I'm glad we don't have a gun, because the impulse will hit way stronger and if I had that method available I may act on it.

 

[Polar_]

I feel you. The worst part of my manic episodes are the delusions, where I become completely convinced that the government is spiking food with sedatives (didn't eat for several days), or that there's something or someone coming to kill me. I was convinced I had to kill myself before something killed me, so yes in that particular episode I definitely was a danger to myself, tho I ended up in hospital before I managed to do anything.

The extra energy and impulsivity is definitely dangerous, I agree, though usually my impulses are along the lines of spending all my money, planning trips I can't afford, quitting jobs, quitting my uni degree (while sitting on the bus), and saying things I wish to god and back didn't say.

I think generally it's when I'm mixed that I'm most likely to kill myself, because I have all the energy and agitation, with all the depressive thoughts. That's not fun.

 

[gingerplum]

@BipolarExpat may have some thoughts for you... I don't think I'm violating his confidentiality by telling you this; his username has a bit of a clue in it

 

[sleepy dog]

I don't believe the anger or aggressiveness is mania. I know the psychiatrists are claiming that now. I just don't agree. Mania is a good feeling, depression a bad feeling. It doesn't fit. Those people are turning EVERY human behavior into a mental illness. Like using the internet a lot, you are mentally ill. Like playing video games a lot, you are mentally ill. Like having sex a lot, you are mentally ill. Like playing sports a lot, you are mentally ill. It has become a ridiculous situation.

 

[Rachel74]

Mania as destroyed plenty of relationships with me being a slut and sleeping around and getting in to debt as I feel amazing, I rule the world.

 

[Ruffian]

I feel you. The worst part of my manic episodes are the delusions, where I become completely convinced that the government is spiking food with sedatives (didn't eat for several days), or that there's something or someone coming to kill me. I was convinced I had to kill myself before something killed me, so yes in that particular episode I definitely was a danger to myself, tho I ended up in hospital before I managed to do anything.

The extra energy and impulsivity is definitely dangerous, I agree, though usually my impulses are along the lines of spending all my money, planning trips I can't afford, quitting jobs, quitting my uni degree (while sitting on the bus), and saying things I wish to god and back didn't say.

I think generally it's when I'm mixed that I'm most likely to kill myself, because I have all the energy and agitation, with all the depressive thoughts. That's not fun.

This sounds horrible. I only ever had one or two mixed states and they were horrible. My manias are bad enough. Usually I can tell when it's coming to a halt because I do sort of have a mixed day or two and then I come back down. But it's not that energetic part of mania, I'm generally anxious and irritated and depressed.

Mania as destroyed plenty of relationships with me being a slut and sleeping around and getting in to debt as I feel amazing, I rule the world.

Yes, I really used to feel bad hearing about people Losing their marriages.