I am not materialist, do not hate on me.
I am worried that I will still 'be' in some way after I die. I fear reincarnation or some kind of retributive justice, and I don't know how to make myself feel better about this.
Are there any resources that will help me realize that nothing happens after death?
I am disappointed to report that I also wanted oblivion but I found that reincarnation might be real, but not necessary.
I generally do not push my believes, even tho I sometimes try to, but this time I feel called out.
I would advise to do extensive research into Near Death Experiences and previous life regressions also things like out of body experiences. This are all subjective experiences, but it does not make them unreal or something that can be dismissed, the fact that there are many independent cases of such happenings make it worthwhile evidence of phenomena.
nderf.org
If we ignore stuff like: NDEs or out of body experiences or children remembering past lives we can assume there is nothing after death. But remember that we cannot really prove that brain creates consciousness. We cannot make the jump from dead matter to subjective experience, and truth is majority of us do not know our own minds. From the other side there are traditions that are based on research upon subjective experience through meditation, which is observing the nature of mind. These traditions state that we are made of impermanent (senses, feelings, perceptions, thoughts, suffering and desire) and permanent and unending (awareness, being).
It is not something to be scared of. Being aware is not equal to suffering. Quite opposite, It is rather peaceful and not boring, it just is. I personally belief that our awareness can go through life to other life, but does not have to. Some people retain their memories as they are part of their soul. There are documented cases of people remembering their past life and this is something I would call evidence.
Saying that I mean that there is world beyond our perception. We are in very limited bodies and cannot see souls, like in waking hours we do not see dreams. Once we die we leave body and can experience what is after. There are no natural processes of judgment, but there are accounts of beings posing as Jesus/god/relatives/guides/angels etc. this is really common to see such things in NDEs but I won't get into that.
There are theories that reincarnation is a trap and a scam and that It can be avoided and stopped and we can become free. But I will speak of them only when asked. (you can dm me, I am not selling anything. actually the links I provided explain it all esspecially last one)