Venting afraid ill tell my therapist

[tinyghost]

its getting close to my hard deadline for cbt. unfortunately ive gone a bit manic and my ability to cbt has gone down. my decision has not changed but ive been a lot more distracted, and my husband has a close eye on me. i need to die in three weeks, and i have therapy every week. i always imagine telling my therapist about my plans because its what i want to talk about, but obviously its a horrible idea. i either need to cbt in the next few days or get through another (or multiple) sessions without blabbing. im very anxious because she knows how to get things out of me but ive managed to hide it for the past three months. i think ive managed to convince her that im doing better. its just so close now and i need to not fail this time.

 

[jackrussell023]

I've also struggled with how much to tell my psychologist. This week I said whilst im not as acute as a year ago, I'm still in a generally bad space as not fitting in at work, and rather isolated at home. All he asked was if I am safe, which I responded with 'sure'. Definitely haven't discussed any plans.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'd not say anything about actual plans not even about passive ideation. But may I ask you, why do you need to die in the next 3 weeks and why do u have a hard deadline? What must change you'd not kys?

 

[tinyghost]

I've also struggled with how much to tell my psychologist. This week I said whilst im not as acute as a year ago, I'm still in a generally bad space as not fitting in at work, and rather isolated at home. All he asked was if I am safe, which I responded with 'sure'. Definitely haven't discussed any plans.

its sad because it somewhat defeats the point of therapy. i wish it wasnt so easy to get locked up haha. im sorry youre going through that.

I'd not say anything about actual plans not even about passive ideation. But may I ask you, why do you need to die in the next 3 weeks and why do u have a hard deadline? What must change you'd not kys?

i lost my job earlier this year due to my schizophrenia and me and my husband can no longer stay afloat so we are moving in with his mother. we have to move states and so i will be losing my insurance and thus therapy, drs and medication. i have severe mental health problems as well as other health problems and i need medical care. and its less important but living with my mother in law is very triggering due to my history of abuse (which i was trying to work through in therapy). its extremely embarrassing to need this sort of help and it's causing me a lot of anxiety and stress.

tldr my quality of life is about to decrease and im tired

 

[ropearoundatree]

You might be able to get away w/telling your therapist about your intent, or you desire to commit--w/o actually mentioning the method, per se... or that you have it on hand, and are prepared to use it by said-stated deadline. Then they may be contractually obligated by law to report you to the authorities. But I think just expressing the yearning/feeling - or need - in & of or by itself, may alone still be okay. And somewhat even viewed as healthy, in this context or setting. I'm sorry to hear of your situation, and you circumstance. But you should feel no sense of embarrassment over any kind of help that you may require. Whether that be for your mental health diagnosis, or your history of abuse. All of those are very tangible, credible reasons and things to get treated with and for - & generally by those w/professional degrees and such.