Help Advice

[Zanmato]

Long post, sorry. But please, I need an advice.

I'm 32, and I only have a few jobs experience, very short.

I was a Neet, but on July 2024 I started my current job.
At the beginning, I kinda liked it, and some coworkers were really fine.
I renewed my contract at the end of November, until the end of June.
But I had some doubts, I was worried that things could have become worst.
Turned out that I was right.

At the beginning of April I had a breakdown, full of anger, because a toxic/narcissist coworker kept micromanaging, gaslighting me.
Everything I do, or not, is wrong. Even if I follow her instructions.

After that breakdown, I started a countdown to the end of June, and... Only one week was good. The only week when she wasn't working.

Thanks to her, my stress and anxiety increased, I can't even completely feel relief on my days off because she writes to me, even just to say "You did wrong" (even if it's not true, or isn't my fault. And once, I was contacted at 11 pm.)

So I have anxiety even of my days off, when I hear my phone. And this is far from ok.

Aside this, there is a bad "So-Called Supervisor", HR who can't make shifts and bad bosses ideas (After all, I'm the one who have to deal with customers, right?)

So, Months passed and I lived each week with stress and anxiety.

And today... I gave my notice.
And now I feel terribly.

I don't know what to do.

Try to say: "Hey, I know I gave this notice because of a reason, but I thought better about it, and I like to stay", or... Quit.

I know the reasons why I wanted to left (micromanaging , gaslighting, bad Supervisor, I lost my appetite), but I'm hating the idea of being unemployed again...

At the same time, the idea of all that anxiety and stress is... Awful...

I really don't know what to do.

 

[SomewhatLoved]

It's a complicated situation. But if you are feeling regret and think maybe you should stay working, maybe you should ask if you can take back your notice and stay on. The worst that can happen is some embarrassment and them saying no.

I think I maybe had a similar experience, and here's how I handled it:

Fresh out of post-secondary, I wasn't getting many job offers. I had been applying around for 2 months before I finally got one, and when I did I took it. Turned out to be super toxic. Very high turn over, everyone always leaving, etc. Constant drama. Everyone talked shit about everyone, and I'm sure when I wasn't around they probably said bad things about me. There was one particular staff member who was always negative to me to my face. Dyed my hair black - she said "I can't take you seriously anymore, you look emo". Calls me skinny. Sees me eating a sweet and gives me side-eye and says "how can you eat that? it would make me sick". Etc, etc. Just not a fun place to work. I had expenses however so I had to keep going. Putting up with it felt better than defaulting on my car loan, insurance, and other expenses.

Now I've been here for 7 months and I have experience within my field. 2 months ago I started applying again, and now in a month I'm starting a new job at a large reputable company in my industry.

Obviously there are some differences in our experiences, but essentially I guess what I'm trying to say is for me continuing to work has allowed me to continue to afford to live, while slowly but surely building a bridge out of this place. The more experienced you are the easier it is to get hired. And also, when you have a steady source of income you can be a bit more picky about where you want to work because you're not desperate for money.

So I guess my advice would be see if they'll keep you on - if it's still early they might not even have interviews scheduled with new candidates. As long as you weren't an asshole in your resignation letter, I would imagine it's not like your boss is pissed at you and your relation is ruined or anything. Who knows, again worst that can happen is they say no. And if you stay you can still apply elsewhere anyways. Unexplained gaps in resumes can be weird, and people in HR have often told me that companies will prefer candidates who don't have things like that.

 

[Zanmato]

Turned out to be super toxic. Very high turn over, everyone always leaving, etc. Constant drama. Everyone talked shit about everyone, and I'm sure when I wasn't around they probably said bad things about me. There was one particular staff member who was always negative to me to my face. Dyed my hair black - she said "I can't take you seriously anymore, you look emo". Calls me skinny. Sees me eating a sweet and gives me side-eye and says "how can you eat that? it would make me sick". Etc, etc. Just not a fun place to work. I had expenses however so I had to keep going. Putting up with it felt better than defaulting on my car loan, insurance, and other expenses.

First of all, thanks for your answer.

Yes, unfortunately it seems the same, sort of... Some coworkers might be fine, but I think some of them are fake, and one is becoming toxic because he's influenced by that person I wrote.

And... Damn, I really don't like this, as I don't like the idea of being unemployed again.

At first, I thought that I needed some peace of mind (and still do), I didn't think I had the strenght to start so soon in another place.
But... Is not that easy.

As long as you weren't an asshole in your resignation letter, I would imagine it's not like your boss is pissed at you and your relation is ruined or anything. Who knows, again worst that can happen is they say no.

No, I kinda lied saying that I had another job offer (it happens often, in this place), saying that I thanks them for the chance that they've gave to me.

 

[whywere]

Through the decades, but way back in the 1970's especially, I had such micro mangers that just thinking about it now makes my head spin and my stomach upset.

So, like so many others, yep been there. With all of that said, looking back, I was and still am so glad to get away from all that stress brought on by boss(s) who had "action item lists" and leaving at the end of the day with a headache.

Life is too short period to ever put up with anyone who will not treat others as not only equals but humans, never.

This is just my 2 cents worth, but 1st off, I feel that you did it completely right as far as getting away from that much brought on stress that you had no control over. You did not mention what type of business/industry that you are employed by, and I would take a week break or so, then hit it on the position search aspect.

If it was me, I would NEVER EVER use your past employer as a reference, as hopefully one would not be needed.

One might have to take a part time position to make ends meet while position hunting, however, at least in my past experiences, this would be much preferred over putting up with a micro-managing person who has such zero self-worth that they have to take out their frustrations on their co-workers, like you.

You are an intelligent, worthwhile and caring person and in the long run you WILL be great.

Walter

 

[SomewhatLoved]

First of all, thanks for your answer.

Yes, unfortunately it seems the same, sort of... Some coworkers might be fine, but I think some of them are fake, and one is becoming toxic because he's influenced by that person I wrote.

And... Damn, I really don't like this, as I don't like the idea of being unemployed again.

At first, I thought that I needed some peace of mind (and still do), I didn't think I had the strenght to start so soon in another place.
But... Is not that easy.


No, I kinda lied saying that I had another job offer (it happens often, in this place), saying that I thanks them for the chance that they've done to me.

If that's your reason for resigning I think you have a chance. You could just say that you changed your mind and you would prefer to say or something. Again, as long as they haven't gotten to far into the recruitment process I could see there being a fair chance your boss takes you back assuming he liked you.

 

[Zanmato]

So, like so many others, yep been there. With all of that said, looking back, I was and still am so glad to get away from all that stress brought on by boss(s) who had "action item lists" and leaving at the end of the day with a headache.

Life is too short period to ever put up with anyone who will not treat others as not only equals but humans, never.

I can see your point of view... And yet, I started thinking only about how many chances I had to find a job, and they were a few.

Of course I thought even before, but now it's just... Worst. Maybe they're only paranoia? I don't know.

This is just my 2 cents worth, but 1st off, I feel that you did it completely right as far as getting away from that much brought on stress that you had no control over. You did not mention what type of business/industry that you are employed by, and I would take a week break or so, then hit it on the position search aspect.

It's an easy job, nothing special (well, it depends, sometimes it can becomes a bit tough. Let's say that is something where you wouldn't stay there forever.

And I know that I haven't control... Things already turned out worst, so...

If that's your reason for resigning I think you have a chance. You could just say that you changed your mind and you would prefer to say or something. Again, as long as they haven't gotten to far into the recruitment process I could see there being a fair chance your boss takes you back assuming he liked you.

Well, in all these Months (one year, after all), I never complained (and I had good reason, some shifts were really bad, sometimes)