Advice?

[wildflowers1996]

I absolutely know (if I can ever get past my fear of hell) that I do not want to live. I want to end my life.

But I just can't get past the guilt of hurting my parents.

I am 27 years old. My mum is 72 and my Dad 70 (they had me late in life).

I am wondering if I have the strength to wait to ctb until they pass on naturally. But that could be ages and ages away. My grandparents apart from one lived to their 90s. I don't think I can take another 20 years.

My problem is I also have a brother, who is 31.

And I desperately don't want to hurt him. I don't see him much any more, but we used to be close.

I feel like it would be very hard for him to take - losing both parents, and then me too.

He is married, so he wouldn't be completely alone. He seems to be happily married too. By then, he might even have children, so a family of his own.

That's what I'm hoping. Even though I don't really think people should have children, maybe he'll be lucky and have happy children.

And then maybe if I die he won't be too badly affected? But I don't know. How could I minimise the pain for him?

 

[Agon321]

I'll be brutally honest: there's nothing you can do.
The best you can do is create a goodbye note that explains your situation to your family, but they will still feel the pain.

I believe that we should not deceive ourselves.
Your suicide will hit your family just as my suicide will hit mine.

It's a bitter pill we have to swallow.

If you really can't live any longer, you have to somehow come to terms with the fact that your family will feel your loss.

Nobody said suicide was easy.

However, time heals some wounds.
Of course, your brother will feel your loss at first, but if he already has a wife, it will be a little easier for him.
He has extra motivation in life.

You have to ask yourself what you want to do and answer it.
Everyone has to do it.

I know my comment didn't help you, but I think we have to be honest in situations like this.

But remember that sometimes we have to be selfish in life and only think about ourselves.
I try to think as little as possible about the consequences of my upcoming death.
I want to focus on my situation and rationalize my choice.
A pragmatic summary of the advantages and disadvantages.

 

[FuneralCry]

I imagine that must be a difficult, painful situation to be in, I guess maybe notes may minimise the pain if those left behind have some sort of explanation to make them understand. But anyway best wishes.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

The ever-unsolvable problem most of have - either we suffer for many more years and maybe decades or family has to grief - but what to do if our problems are unsolvable for us? Eventually family, friends and loved ones will get over it and move on with their lives.

 

[Necrosis]

I can see some mercy in waiting for your parents to pass. It gives you time to work out your fears. I think instead of staying distant from him to minimize potential grief, try to get closer with him while you can. If you leave as a distant sibling he might blame himself so much more for not doing enough. If you're around he might just appreciate the time you've had while you were here. He still might be very confused if you two get closer and he saw no signs, but there would be less blame on top of the grief.