Ashley_1988
Member
- Dec 13, 2019
- 62
Adopted into another culture can that work- or is it pretty inevitable to turn "insane"
So I don´t know if that topic fits here or if here are some of you who can relate. Nevertheless I just feel writing that down.
When I was about 12 month old I was getting adopted from ethipia into a German family. I had to face racism form a very young age on, but had never people around me who could really tell me how to deal with that kind of hate. Since my parents are white and nearly everyone around me was white so yes..i was always the only black kid with the white parents. They wanted to support me but telling your kid how got beaten up in the school to just ignore them or, that I just should not care to match about racial slurs since people bully only in order to make their selfs feel better. It is not enough they never had any idea how that hurts was that does to you as a child if you are told to get back where you coming from like I choose to live here right??..
When I got older in particular during my time at the university I got to know also other black people in particular immigrants from Africa. But for them I was always seen as not Ethiopian but German. It was not just the lack of relating to their culture, it was more about the everyday challenges that they had to face without a German ID. Sorry I wont do a thesis about Africans in Germany but I wanted just to outline that I am aware of my position and that I am aware I have some privileges other "africans" don´t have.
Anyway it the reality was I was not seen as a part of the ethipian community but also no part of the German culture..it was like there is no fucking space where I can got and just be.
Many Ethiopians as well es Germans told me to be happy about my situation, to be thankful..vor all that opportunity's I am having..
Thankful for what? not belonging to any culture, to always feel like not having a right to even breath the same air as the average person? For being mentally ill for years? Having to face racism on daily basis- but not having a community around that will get you and can to relate to that pain. Since in their eyes I am just a German person, who happens to look African. Even I know it is silly to think like that - but sometimes I think it would be better to still live in ethiopia in poverty instant of being here and always getting explained that I am not welcome here. yes but sometimes I feel that way even when I know it is childish and I should appreciate it, appreciate the possibility I have here but. Sometimes it's just fucking hard. And it its eating my alive..
does someone can relate?
(and Sorry for my English..school was a long time ago..)
So I don´t know if that topic fits here or if here are some of you who can relate. Nevertheless I just feel writing that down.
When I was about 12 month old I was getting adopted from ethipia into a German family. I had to face racism form a very young age on, but had never people around me who could really tell me how to deal with that kind of hate. Since my parents are white and nearly everyone around me was white so yes..i was always the only black kid with the white parents. They wanted to support me but telling your kid how got beaten up in the school to just ignore them or, that I just should not care to match about racial slurs since people bully only in order to make their selfs feel better. It is not enough they never had any idea how that hurts was that does to you as a child if you are told to get back where you coming from like I choose to live here right??..
When I got older in particular during my time at the university I got to know also other black people in particular immigrants from Africa. But for them I was always seen as not Ethiopian but German. It was not just the lack of relating to their culture, it was more about the everyday challenges that they had to face without a German ID. Sorry I wont do a thesis about Africans in Germany but I wanted just to outline that I am aware of my position and that I am aware I have some privileges other "africans" don´t have.
Anyway it the reality was I was not seen as a part of the ethipian community but also no part of the German culture..it was like there is no fucking space where I can got and just be.
Many Ethiopians as well es Germans told me to be happy about my situation, to be thankful..vor all that opportunity's I am having..
Thankful for what? not belonging to any culture, to always feel like not having a right to even breath the same air as the average person? For being mentally ill for years? Having to face racism on daily basis- but not having a community around that will get you and can to relate to that pain. Since in their eyes I am just a German person, who happens to look African. Even I know it is silly to think like that - but sometimes I think it would be better to still live in ethiopia in poverty instant of being here and always getting explained that I am not welcome here. yes but sometimes I feel that way even when I know it is childish and I should appreciate it, appreciate the possibility I have here but. Sometimes it's just fucking hard. And it its eating my alive..
does someone can relate?
(and Sorry for my English..school was a long time ago..)