Discussion adhd and autism diagnoses

[anhed0nia]

After half a lifetime of failing to thrive and being constantly told by people who insist that I'm "smart" that I'm just not trying/have a bad attitude/exaggerating my problems due to low self-esteem (or just flat out lying about them), I'm starting to realize that my issues could be cognitive or neurological in nature. I'm probably going to try to get evaluated for ADHD and autism spectrum disorder sometime next year. I'm a little scared; I imagine the results coming back ambiguous or not as I hoped, and then I'd feel like one of those innocent people who damningly fails a lie detector test because they were too anxious to get a proper reading, and then they're stuck with that on their record. I know a diagnosis won't fix my life, but I think it would explain a lot of things--and also help put a stop to these frustrating arguments I have to have about why I'm such a mess. I also know that there's an ongoing ADHD medication shortage that will probably drag on for as long as people are getting fast food scripts from shady internet therapy startups without any kind of real evaluation. I just think that I would get some peace of mind from seeing it in writing that there is something going on with me besides, you know, just being lazy and stupid.

So my very general questions for you all are: Have you ever been evaluated for autism, ADHD, or other, similar conditions? What was the process like? What benefit, if any, did you get from your diagnosis (or lack thereof)? How did this change your life, for better or worse?

I've been talking to a lot of people about these topics and hearing really sad stories about folks being misdiagnosed with everything from BPD to schizophrenia before finally getting it confirmed that their meltdowns and behavioral and emotional difficulties actually stemmed from the frustrations of being neurodivergent. I wondered how that might resonate with this forum.


PS I just want to say that I really feel for people who have struggled with autism-related problems, who now live in a climate where everyone has started claiming that they're autistic just because they're shy and they have neat hobbies or something. It's like everybody thinks neurodivergence is this cool kids' club that you get to join because you're quirky and smart and have passionate personal interests. I know there can be positive things about autism, but it's as if everyone has forgotten that you usually get diagnosed with a condition because you're experiencing some kind of pain, not because you're so special and unique. I'm sure there are a lot of undiagnosed people who have benefited from the raised awareness of neurodivergence, but the public conversation about it has been so cutesy and unhelpful, my heart goes out to everyone who has had to fight to have their condition acknowledged, and who does not experience their autism purely as some kind of fun merit badge.

 

[kittyswift]

i was diagnosed as autistic in my late teens. being undiagnosed was horrible, i wasn't "autistic enough" to be recognised but i wasn't "normal enough" to fit in with my peers. although nobody said it and i wasn't bullied or anything like that, myself and my peers recognised that i just couldnt fit in with them or communicate as well. the diagnosis process was difficult because when i was diagnosed people didnt really think that girls could have autism. the questions i had to answer were very stereotypical- do you like trains? would you rather go to a museum or a party? and more. the diagnosis itself was helpful for me because it helped me recognise its not necessarily something wrong with me, i just function differently to neurotypical people. my diagnosis has helped me find ways to cope with things and find a community of other autistic people :)

also, it was myself who suggested i may be autistic in the first place! i had quite a few friends with autism and it occurred to me oh i do that too! or oh we happen to share a lot of similar traits. it was awful trying to fight for an assessment when it was only me who thought i may be autistic but the diagnosis itself was helpful. the downside is that theres a lot of stigma and discrimination sadly

 

[anhed0nia]

i was diagnosed as autistic in my late teens. being undiagnosed was horrible, i wasn't "autistic enough" to be recognised but i wasn't "normal enough" to fit in with my peers. although nobody said it and i wasn't bullied or anything like that, myself and my peers recognised that i just couldnt fit in with them or communicate as well. the diagnosis process was difficult because when i was diagnosed people didnt really think that girls could have autism. the questions i had to answer were very stereotypical- do you like trains? would you rather go to a museum or a party? and more. the diagnosis itself was helpful for me because it helped me recognise its not necessarily something wrong with me, i just function differently to neurotypical people. my diagnosis has helped me find ways to cope with things and find a community of other autistic people :)

also, it was myself who suggested i may be autistic in the first place! i had quite a few friends with autism and it occurred to me oh i do that too! or oh we happen to share a lot of similar traits. it was awful trying to fight for an assessment when it was only me who thought i may be autistic but the diagnosis itself was helpful. the downside is that theres a lot of stigma and discrimination sadly

This resonates with me, especially the stuff that relates to being "high functioning" and therefore not having your true challenges acknowledged. A few years ago when I posting a lot on my blog about the struggles I have with normal stuff, someone gently suggested I might be autistic. I only understood the relevant stereotypes and had a reaction like, "Isn't that for like math geniuses who have no emotions or something? That's not me," and then the person shared this article with me that was really helpful and eye-opening--here it is, in case it does anything for anybody else: