Actually going through SN today

[guntor]

Okay so I posted 2 weeks ago asking about SN purity and saying I was going to do it but I totally chickened out, was first time actually believing I was going to die so I wasnt ready.
Today is the day, Im in the 2nd day of the 48h SN protocol, one last dose of Meto before I have to wait for 6 hours and go through with it. I havent completely fasted, I love food too much x), I ate a bit of chicken yesterday, but today just a cup of good ol' coffee this morning.
Im not afraid of vomiting, just that the purity wont be enough.
I dont actually want to die, but Im 29, being lonely my whole life, I tried every activity out there to find people that could appreciate me, nothing worked, the problem is within me sadly, never managed to get me a girl too, and thats what hurt the most when my 16yo nephew is already much better than me at all of these things.
Im very healthy and athletic, tried to convince my therapist about giving my organs in exchange for euthanasia (legal in Canada) didnt work though :( life could have been so good for real, Im a simple man, I got a good job, healthy, I just wanted to be loved a little and I'd have lived the best life out possible but by experience I know it is unachievable for me.
So enough about regrets, I'll prepare the concoction tonight, 3 glasses in case and keep you guys updated, wish me luck, dont be sad hopefully I'll be too dead to feel anything anymore :D
Yo I'm curious about something though, was taking the meto for 2 days actually helpful ? i read that it was only to prepare yourself mentally but it's only the last doses that do the job

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best with your plans and I hope you find the freedom you search for.

 

[AnonGermany]

"I dont actually want to die, but .."

I get really sad when i read this from people. So much hopelessness in a sentence :( i am obviously in no position to judge anyone and have to respect your decision, so i wish you all the best for that last drink in a couple of hours.

 

[bluebus]

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. I'm sorry that it's come to this. I can relate to some of what you're saying, I don't want to die either but I don't have much of a choice left. Life is just too unbearable to keep going anymore. I find that many of us here feel the same way. You're right in that there is no point in having regrets. It doesn't help. It's tough to accept reality sometimes, but it is necessary if you want to find peace, whether it be in living or dying. I really am sorry that life has brought you here, and I wish you all the best. Sending love your way, and may you find peace. -bb

 

[guntor]

I just wish we didnt have to fast, I could go for a farewell kebab right now

 

[The depresionator]

We're the same age my friend and loneliness is such a crushing feeling. The world can feel such an empty place and even finding people doesn't necessarily erase that feeling.

I hope everything goes well and you feel some kind of comfort on this day atleast.

 

[FadingFast2023]

I only bring this up because I was in your identical situation at age 29. I ended up finding a "sexual surrogate" therapist that got me to lose my virginity and taught me enough to get into 2 long term relationships and find a few bits of happiness along the way.

 

[guntor]

I only bring this up because I was in your identical situation at age 29. I ended up finding a "sexual surrogate" therapist that got me to lose my virginity and taught me enough to get into 2 long term relationships and find a few bits of happiness along the way.

That's interesting, well if suicide doesnt work I'll have something else to try even though I feel like it wouldnt help me much I've tried long and hard cant seem to make it work :(

We're the same age my friend and loneliness is such a crushing feeling. The world can feel such an empty place and even finding people doesn't necessarily erase that feeling.

I hope everything goes well and you feel some kind of comfort on this day atleast.

Id like to keep in touch with you guys if it my chinese SN didnt have enough purity, we'll se tomorrow !

As for me I'll speed up the process a little, if the SN doesnt kill me hunger will do it, Im taking the last meto in 30-45min and the SN 1 hour after that !

 

[AnonGermany]

You said you dont actually want to die and discovered another Option today. Technically you could enjoy that Kebab you have been craving, put that SN away for Backup and make Different plans for Science.

I dont want to step too close, your Text just felt like you really dont want to do this today but saw no other Option :/

 

[The depresionator]

Yes, of course I would like to as well. Maybe the guy above has a point, the don't want to die comment kind of stuck with me too. You're not sure of the purity so maybe it's worth testing? Also you haven't mentioned taking benzos and beta blockers with the benzos being kind of needed as much as the meto i think.

 

[guntor]

You said you dont actually want to die and discovered another Option today. Technically you could enjoy that Kebab you have been craving, put that SN away for Backup and make Different plans for Science.

I dont want to step too close, your Text just felt like you really dont want to do this today but saw no other Option :/

I appreciate you man, but I dont actually believe it will help, Ive already tried everything, people just feel no attraction whatsoever to me, I spent a beautiful summer in Canada all alone with no one to share it with for 29th time in a row I cant live like this anymore.

But thank you man that's really nice of you, keep on trying to bring light in these threads, many people have not tried everything or are too young in here. Im almost 30 I know Im not worth it anymore

Yes, of course I would like to as well. Maybe the guy above has a point, the don't want to die comment kind of stuck with me too. You're not sure of the purity so maybe it's worth testing? Also you haven't mentioned taking benzos and beta blockers with the benzos being kind of needed as much as the meto i think.

Nah Benzo is just to keep calm, Im calm as fuck :D I dont want to die cause I wish I could have experienced someone loving me, I wish I could have known what it is to have a group of friends, I wont panic

 

[AnonGermany]

Good luck kind soul from the Internet. I hope everything is gonna work out like you planned it.

 

[Whyami]

Hope your journey to the other side will be peaceful I wish you to find peace

 

[partnersearch]

Okay so I posted 2 weeks ago asking about SN purity and saying I was going to do it but I totally chickened out, was first time actually believing I was going to die so I wasnt ready.
Today is the day, Im in the 2nd day of the 48h SN protocol, one last dose of Meto before I have to wait for 6 hours and go through with it. I havent completely fasted, I love food too much x), I ate a bit of chicken yesterday, but today just a cup of good ol' coffee this morning.
Im not afraid of vomiting, just that the purity wont be enough.
I dont actually want to die, but Im 29, being lonely my whole life, I tried every activity out there to find people that could appreciate me, nothing worked, the problem is within me sadly, never managed to get me a girl too, and thats what hurt the most when my 16yo nephew is already much better than me at all of these things.
Im very healthy and athletic, tried to convince my therapist about giving my organs in exchange for euthanasia (legal in Canada) didnt work though :( life could have been so good for real, Im a simple man, I got a good job, healthy, I just wanted to be loved a little and I'd have lived the best life out possible but by experience I know it is unachievable for me.
So enough about regrets, I'll prepare the concoction tonight, 3 glasses in case and keep you guys updated, wish me luck, dont be sad hopefully I'll be too dead to feel anything anymore :D
Yo I'm curious about something though, was taking the meto for 2 days actually helpful ? i read that it was only to prepare yourself mentally but it's only the last doses that do the job

You are so young, in a lifespan. Have you tried any spiritual paths? When you raise your vibration, you will be surprised who and what you will attract. I wish I had learned earlier to come from gratitude. The biggest thing I see that you have going for you is YOU MENTION YOU ARE HEALTHY.
I am struggling with complex situations which are impacting my health....That is why I am here.
What about family? Are there those who you love or who you feel love from?
I once read a poster that said " Love is not something you find, but something you become."
Have you ever felt a passion for something in this world that you could call your purpose?

 

[DreamEnd]

How are you feeling? Will you keep us updated?

 

[guntor]

Here goes nothing !
burned like hell

 

[Whyami]

Here goes nothing !
burned like hell

To drink it? Lay on your right side, breath, hopefully it's gonna be painless and quick, I wish you the best

 

[AnonGermany]

Good luck we are here

 

[partnersearch]

You are so young, in a lifespan. Have you tried any spiritual paths? When you raise your vibration, you will be surprised who and what you will attract. I wish I had learned earlier to come from gratitude. The biggest thing I see that you have going for you is YOU MENTION YOU ARE HEALTHY.
I am struggling with complex situations which are impacting my health....That is why I am here.
What about family? Are there those who you love or who you feel love from?
I once read a poster that said " Love is not something you find, but something you become."
Have you ever felt a passion for something in this world that you could call your purpose?

I see you reacted with a word. Does anything I wrote resonate?

 

[Whyami]

I see you reacted with a word. Does anything I wrote resonate?

I reacted because it's not a place and not a moment to said those kind of thing. Please respect his choice, he's trying to ctb right now it's not respectful.

 

[Techef]

burned like hell

Hope you don't suffer.

My first SN source tested out to be bunk. Gonna need to test second source in case I can't finish my gas setup before my due date.

I dont actually want to die

I've been wanting to CTB to escape from the pain of my chronic and terminal illnesses, but as I get closer to the end I've been finding, for whatever reason, that I'd rather not die either. I don't know why...

 

[notverylucid]

Good luck kind soul, hope you are able to be at peace

 

[The depresionator]

Well it looks like he was successful. Shame he never managed to get that kebab, but atleast his pain is over.