Accepting the Pain

[ojinzo]

In life, we are forced to accept pain. The pain of a terminal or chronic illness, the pain wrought from social interactions, betrayal, etc. The pain that comes with failure, disappoints, bullying, abuse, and struggle. It has become normalized to simply accept the pain of everyday life. However, the pain that may come with a controlled death is taboo, something almost everyone fights to avoid and/or refuses to engage.

I've been on this site for months now. One third here are pro lifers, another third is undercover le (both masquerading as sufferers), and the rest are people truly seeking help or advice on how to end or find solice to life.

I am of the latter. Amongst those who truly want to go. As such, recently I'm accepting the pain that may come with a less preferred method to ctb. I am. It will not last forever. I know a sure fire way that will work and that is all that matters at this point. As I write, I am enveloped with a sense of peace and tranquility. I am going to methodically plan my exit, also using that time to build the courage to simply accept the pain.

I've met a lot of wonderful humans on this site that seek what I seek and I just wanted to share my thoughts on something I haven't seen any writings on, which again is accepting the pain. It may not be an ideal option but it is still an option if you really want to seek an end.

Peace

 

[FuneralCry]

I guess that a painful dying process is more preferable to the pain that would be experienced if someone chose to stay alive until old age. Nobody should have to die a painful death, but it seems as there is no way to escape pain as long as we exist. I hope that you find freedom from your suffering. At least no matter what, the pain will not last forever. Life is so cruel and horrifying, but at the same time so meaningless and temporary. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

 

[Hope:-)]

The pain is my one reason to not ctb.

 

[Samsal112]

I agree. I have always thought this. There are limited ways to exit without feeling some sort of pain. Rather than focus on pain, we need to focus on a method that will ensure death. Even SN is not that painless. I have already read three posts where it didn't work.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I know a sure fire way that will work and that is all that matters at this point.

Any reason not to share it with the rest of us?

 

[ojinzo]

Vwbbzxvbas v

Any reason not to share it with the rest of us?

Because I don't want to hear anyone's critiques on how painful it will be blah blah blah.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Because I don't want to hear anyone's critiques on how painful it will be blah blah blah.

Isn't that what this forum is for? Wouldn't it be better to hear from others in case there is a chance of not being successful? If there's a flaw(s), wouldn't you want to hear that so that you can be successful?

 

[ojinzo]

Isn't that what this forum is for? Wouldn't it be better to hear from others in case there is a chance of not being successful? If there's a flaw(s), wouldn't you want to hear that so that you can be successful?

No

 

[Rational man]

I feel your pain. Think of pain as an impermanence, an awful intrusive situation in an otherwise loving SPIRIT. I m.still alive ,.Not sure why but doctors have been able to keep me alive but im still in pain and terminal. Theres not much of me left ro return to nature. Hope you find PEACE in your HEART.

 

[DarkNearDeath]

I like the paragraph.. nice reading it

 

[locked*n*loaded]

No

That's fine. Do as you will then. Hope it works out as you envision. Peace to you.

 

[theboy]

I agree

 

[hamvil]

Religion depicts pain as a way to get closer to god. At least christian religion. Jesus is the main example for this. If you live in certain countries our society is shaped around judeo/christian principles. I see a good dose of sadism in this. Christians essentially worship an instrument of torture (the cross).

I am less worried about pain (to some extent) than to the fear of failing and ending up messed up. Like jumping and surviving. Trying to hand myself and end up in a chair. Same for jumping in front of a train and similar. Not sure if I could manage a method based on drinking something. That also takes courage.