Accept this miserable existence?

[Lookoutbelow]

Many of us think we have accepted that we want to CTB. The problem is our SI (survival instinct) or as I like to call it my SI (suicide inhibitor) prevents us from following through with it. The thought of CTB is calming. The planning feels nice. The act itself damn hard. So I've come to realize that I have not accepted death or I would have done it by now. I have just accepted the thought of death. Maybe I can learn to accept the thought of depression, anxiety, despair and all of the other fucked up emotions that I have. I don't know.

 

[The Burning Fool]

SI can be petrifying, or not present at all. It depends on whether or not the body perceives the potentially lethal action as a threat. E.g. starving, jumping from a height, cutting oneself, consuming poison. These are all threats our genetic lineage has developed defensive mechanisms to; that's how our ancestors were able to conceive and protect their offspring.

But the body is oblivious to some threats such as breathing in gases that replace oxygen in the blood, or fatally overdosing drugs that the nervous system already associates with joy, and so on. Therefore SI can be circumvented with planning. But yes, you're obviously right, you have many options besides suicide.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Lately, I've been fantasizing about a scenario where we (everyone on this forum) plan a meetup deep in the woods in some remote area of the country to do a mass CTB together. For some reason, I just imagine being around like-minded people would make it a lot easier to follow through with. Meetup...maybe tell stories around a big campfire for a night...get plastered...then do one last toast before downing a fatal concoction in unison.

 

[The Burning Fool]

Lately, I've been fantasizing about a scenario where we (everyone on this forum) plan a meetup deep in the woods in some remote area of the country to do a mass CTB together. For some reason, I just imagine being around like-minded people would make it a lot easier to follow through with. Meetup...maybe tell stories around a big campfire for a night...get plastered...then do one last toast before downing a fatal concoction in unison.

That would be a dream come true to some sadistic people though. I'd be shaking and grabbing my knife and pepper spray in my pockets the entire time.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

That would be a dream come true to some sadistic people though. I'd be shaking and grabbing my knife and pepper spray in my pockets the entire time.

We all want to die anyways, so what could be the worst that happens? LOL.

 

[The Burning Fool]

We all want to die anyways, so what could be the worst that happens? LOL.

So much pain can be squeezed out of our bodies. Some sickos enjoy doing that for the fun of it. A game of dominance, maybe sexual gratification and so on. I'd be like a cornered wild animal at a meeting like that.

 

[BlazingBob]

My body is torturing me. It never stops, never will, and has and will continue to get worse the older I get. I'm not going to accept this and don't think I should have to. I'm just waiting on my pets.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

I can only imagine these sickos being smart enough to know that there would be too many of us there with guns and nothing to lose.

 

[The Burning Fool]

I can only imagine these sickos being smart enough to know that there would be too many of us there with guns and nothing to lose.

So basically any horror movie. As long as we stick together, arm ourselves and stay calm, nothing bad can happen. Except, sudden death is not bad in this case.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Quite a fun way to CTB, wouldn't you say? The more I think about it, the more I think we should acutally try to make this a reality lol.

 

[The Burning Fool]

Quite a fun way to CTB, wouldn't you say? The more I think about it, the more I think we should acutally try to make this a reality lol.

I wouldn't even wanna start discussing something like that, cause I'm way too paranoid. I'd be expecting the popos bashing down my door at the next day's dawn, thinking I'm a cult leader or a tenorist yk or whatever.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

good point

I wouldn't even wanna start discussing something like that, cause I'm way too paranoid. I'd be expecting the popos bashing down my door at the next day's dawn, thinking I'm a cult leader or a tenorist yk or whatever.

Good point.

 

[The Burning Fool]

Good point.

It feels so good to have my paranoid thoughts acknowledged. Thank you so much!

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

It feels so good to have my paranoid thoughts acknowledged. Thank you so much!

Paranoia is a healthy instinctual emotion. Especially when it's valid.

 

[The Burning Fool]

Paranoia is a healthy instinctual emotion. Especially when it's valid.

And now you're validating my emotions... stop trying to make me fall in love, you silly! ...You're awesome.

 

[Meteora]

Maybe I can learn to accept the thought of depression, anxiety, despair and all of the other fucked up emotions that I have. I don't know.

I ve been asking myself the same. Can I not accept these symptoms? Well, I can't because I know exactely where it comes from. Sounds stupid maybe. But understanding things makes them much more difficult.

 

[Lookoutbelow]

I ve been asking myself the same. Can I not accept these symptoms? Well, I can't because I know exactely where it comes from. Sounds stupid maybe. But understanding things makes them much more difficult.

I think I read something that seems to make sense about only having three options when it come to feeling like we are in a hopeless situation. We can try to change it. We can leave. We can accept it. Our situation being our messed up thoughts. I've tried changing them (it didn't work). I've attempted to leave them (still here, so it didn't work). My only other option is to accept them. I just don't know how. So the fight continues between change, leave, or accept.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

My body is torturing me. It never stops, never will, and has and will continue to get worse the older I get. I'm not going to accept this and don't think I should have to. I'm just waiting on my pets.

This animal body is a torture chamber.

Imo to most by age 50 this will become apparent. Also how this happens in a blink. Life is a blink which makes it even more meaningless.

Dementia: the brain the nerve cells forget they are brain cells . another unimaginable horror that is hidden

 

[FuneralCry]

I really hate how it's so unnecessarily difficult to cease existing, it's certainly like the survival instinct exists just to prolong suffering and keep us trapped here. Those who wish to leave should just be able to fall asleep eternally, in my case existence could never be something acceptable.