Accept being alone rest of my life

[cyan]

How do you accept being alone/single the rest of your life?

I'm divorced, my long term boyfriend dumped me last summer, and any guys I'm attracted to have no interest in me. I'm tired of hurting and feeling like a loser because I can't create Intimacy in my life. I'm not good enough for those I'm attracted to, for some unknown reason; guess I'm just a broken bitch of a human being, a disgusting loser.

Being alone and without the hope of intimacy is devastating. It pulls the will to continue on with life into a dark abyss of empty nothingness. What's the point? Why keep trying? If nobody wants me in their life, why would I want me in my life?

 

[Good4Nothing]

These are the questions I ask myself every day.
I haven't accepted it. I'm going to keep trying.

 

[everydayiloveyou]

You've had several relationships before, so it's very possible that you could get into one again. When you're going through a tough time, these thoughts seem to make sense, but logically there's plenty of evidence against them.

The boys you like not returning your feelings doesn't really say all that much about you personally (ofc so long as youre not being abusive or something). They could just not like you. You can't ever control that, and even if you were perfect, there's a chance that those boys still wouldnt want you. It's like how you probably can't explain why you don't like other boys who may be very nice and just your type. Relationships and attraction are super strange, if we knew the inner workings to these things then surely Beyonce wouldnt have gotten cheaten on, yknow?

I'll probably ctb without ever holding someone's hand, but honestly that idea doesnt consume my mind or anything since I've never experienced romance before. But I can sorta relate in that I often feel like life's not worth living without friendship. What I try to do is remember that it's perfectly possible for me to make a friend, because I've had some before, even with all my issues and flaws. And in the meantime, all I can do is work on myself so that I can be a good friend to the next person who comes along, whenever that may be.

Maybe you can try to use that same perspective. Instead of thinking "this is hopeless, i'll be alone forever," think of the evidence you have against that. You've already been in at least two long term relationships! It's time to focus on yourself, and the issues that are maybe getting in the way of potential romances (mental illness is usually a big one). If you don't have strong friendships, maybe spend this time working on those. You need to be kinder to yourself as well. Someday a new person might come into your life. Other people are unpredictable, so all you can do is focus on yourself in the present.

 

[timf]

We live in a very superficial society. If you are attractive, funny, entertaining, rich, or famous you will find all sorts of people attracted to you. However, even those who have these features find that provide little depth or satisfaction.

If one can improve their self sufficiency, for example living alone is much better than living with a mistake, one might begin to appear less "needy". Seeking another who is not held captive to the superficial currents of the day can be difficult because there are so few.

It might be that seeking in groups that are more people inclined towards giving than taking such as churches or volunteer groups over bars and clubs for those less superficial may yield better results.

 

[Quinlor]

Yeah but the key question is how long is the rest of your life ? 10 years, 1 months, a week.
That's why I'm suicidal .

 

[mathieu]

I think I will be alone for the rest of my life, too. The guys I like don't like me back and even if they did I have commitment issues. Hopefully I can CTB so there is less time spent lonely.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I don't think I'll ever fully accept it, but to at least do so temporarily is all I have to get me by. When I'm really desperate I make time to fantasize about a fictional character who represents my ideal partner.

 

[Throwawaysoul]

I'm at a crossroad where the thought of being in a relationship is annoying, it's like having a parent you fuck. Unless I find someone that's basically me, then I fully accept it and I don't have to clean the bathroom as much.