Pg.964
Lifeless
- Jul 27, 2023
- 90
Sometimes I get the thought of just accelerating my issues and falling deeper into the hole. I'm already in so much agony every single day but yet it's not enough to make me do it. I've been trying to improve for so long but I keep very slowly getting worse and it's excruciating. I'm literally known at work as the "mentally ill one" like it's a joke. I want to mutilate myself, I want to be impulsive, I want to give into the illness instead of fighting it because I'm afraid of having to suffer more. I don't want to get worse but I can't get better. I'm terrified of how much more pain I'll have to endure in my life. I need it to end
