As I've gotten older, I realize there is no justice. I agree completely with all of you. It is heartbreaking that Woxi suffered so much abuse from the people around her. It happens everyday, behind closed doors, and nobody bats an eye.
I've been abused so much in my life, and I realized no one cares. Your average Joes will victim blame and gaslight you. Therapists and mental health workers are ignorant about trauma and abuse, so their advice is often harmful and does nothing but rub salt into a gaping wound.
Support groups and communities espouse vitriol towards people who say that their treatments didn't help them. Platitudes like, "The trauma wasn't your responsibility, but the healing is" get thrown around often. The whole world is extremely invalidating.
Sometimes their attitudes are born of ignorance, and you can't really blame people with good intentions for living a sheltered life. However, most people I've come across in real life are downright nasty and judgemental if you talk about your experiences with abuse and ptsd.
I suffered so much during my high school years because I had been molested for several months, and was pulled out of school for 2 years, during that time I was locked in a house with abusive family members and only allowed to leave maybe one every couple months. My development stagnated and in some aspects declined, as I was becoming selectively mute/nonverbal.
By the time I went to live with my Foster family at age 16 and went back to school, I was fucked. Everyone at school knew what happened to me, and they believed the abuser because there was no physical evidence/injuries from my sexual abuse. This made my life hell. One teacher in particular thought I was just being lazy and punished me at every turn for missing school due to illness or being unable to speak up because I was terrified of her screaming at me.
This woman has won all sorts of awards and is revered as one of the best teachers my school had ever seen. Why?? She was always protected even when my Foster mother went to advocate for me and told the school staff to stop harassing an autistic child who clearly could not handle being screamed at and accused of things daily. There were no reprocussions.
The cycle has continued, each time I suffered abuse. I was groomed by a much older man, and he was incredibly abusive to me. Even when he struck me with his fist and denied that his best friend tortured and raped me, people believed this guy because he had charisma, and in the culture I lived in, it is common for teenage girls to be groomed by men.
People accused me of lying because I didn't want to go to a hospital, file a "rape kit" and be further violated even though I had visible injuries. I am still furious to this day that grown, 30 and 40 something year old adults defended and enabled this abuse to keep going, especially when they knew I had no way out.
People treat abuse victims like we are the ones who did something wrong. As a child, I was not even cognizant that I was being abused. I thought it wasn't a big deal or I deserved it. Children can't control their circumstances. Yet, people will blame blame blame you anyways for not doing enough to stop it, even when the police and social services in your area DO NOT CARE!
I am gaslit all the time about how a doctor sexually assaulted me as well. The staff at the hospital seemed to think it was funny when I'd panic and start shaking from flashbacks. They wouldn't give me medication to ease any of the tremors or severe agony I was in, because they thought I am overreacting. Only one person, a kind nurse, believed me when I said that a doctor had violated me. She is the only person in the medical field I will ever trust, because she did not try to deny reality or defend his actions.
We are expected to deal with the aftermath of something that permanently alters your brain. There are no drugs you can take, no surgeries that can be performed, that will help such levels of severe complex PTSD. It feels like a death sentence.
People tell you to grow up and get over it, you are an adult now, cope with it, they say. I'd like to see those mother fuckers cope with this!
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