Why someone may get into a relationship with someone who is incarcerated. For those who may find comfort in the distance that prison creates. This distance can provide a sense of safety, allowing for a relationship that feels less vulnerable compared to traditional or even long-distance relationships.
For some, dating an inmate offers a sense of stability. The belief that the inmate won't abandon or replace them due to their confinement can foster a protective feeling. This dynamic can be beneficial so the inmate actively maintains the relationship, which can enhance the emotional connection. Theres a fantasy, allowing partners to engage emotionally and creating a form of escapism. If the inmate treats their partner well, it may reinforce the belief that they are special and different, contributing to a sense of purpose in the relationship. They may immerse themselves in a world that feels more controlled and predictable, through the lens of another's confinement. Those who have been victims of similar crimes may find themselves reliving their past in a way that feels safer. Or just reliving a type of "love" they know.
Some women may have characteristics such as loneliness or a desire for excitement, finding an adrenaline rush in the encounters with their incarcerated partner. Others may take on a nurturing role, disregarding the inmate's crimes in an effort to provide support and care, akin to a motherly figure. In my eyes I see it as most likely these women dating people incarcerated are probably not the most mentally stable people. But I don't know..
I wanted to say something similar. I think what would be more interesting would be to know whether these women go on to have actual real physical relationships once the guy (if the guy) is released. Some will of course but- will they last? Or, have they (subconsciously maybe) chosen someone who will never be released? In which case, is it a way to fulfil certain needs without the full experience?
My Dad pointed out that I only ever had 'fantasy' relationships in my head because they were safer. (Limerence- obsessive crushes on guys.) I felt that was because there's no way these guys would go out with me in real life! Still- teetering around the opportunity once, I wondered if he was actually right. Do I actually want to expereince the real thing? Observing the couples I know- I'd say- no! So- I guess we all find ways of fulfilling our needs.
How many men or women would want a largely pen-pal type relationship though? Would that necessarily be enough for you? Of course, it might for some. Long distance relationships, non physical relationships may suit some.
Also, I've seen it here with men as well as women and myself. Sometimes if we know we're 'damaged' ourself, we may hope that another damaged person will forgive us our own faults. Plus, as other members have pointed out. These men may be desperate for interaction so- less likely to reject them. The same of course could be said of autistic lonely men.
These men are obviously high profile too. Women know they exist. They've read their stories, maybe seen interviews. Do as many women know you exist? Or, your story?
Something else I'd be fascinated to know. Ever heard of a show called: 'The Undateables'? It showcased people with various learning difficulties and disabilities, looking for love. I'd be curious as to whether any of those participants received fan mail/ love letters. I imagine- quite possibly. Maybe it's enough for some people to just be high profile to make others aware they exist and, see something in them. I would however question whether you would actually end up enjoying some of that type of attention.
Ever heard of limerence? I tend to suffer from it (I think.) But effectively- we build up a version of what we hope that person is- in our minds. I imagine that certainly comes into play when people develop crushes on celebrities- and criminals in this case! How do we have the time around these people to even truly know them? So, is the love legitimate and based entirely on the real person or, is it simply inspired by them? I suppose it could end up feeling like being a stand in for someone's fantasy. I think it can be overwhelming for some too. It's not a healthy form of attraction. That's why I do my best to stop myself from slipping into it now.
I guess women are drawn to power and dominance- unfortunately. But then, it's no real difference to guys being attracted to young, fit women. We are genetically programmed to feel attracted to other potential parents. Guys always argue that young, fit women are more fertile. Powerful men would hopefully make good protectors and care givers.
Sadly, our biological attraction is far more hazy on picking up on details! That young woman may be a gold digger or want to sleep around. That powerful guy might be a serial killer. Our biology (sadly) leads us into dumb decision making sometimes.
