9ofHearts
Awaiting Death
- Oct 1, 2025
- 15
I am aware that it is (unfortunately) extremely difficult to pass away from an overdose alone, and that the repercussions of surviving an attempt can be drastic. However, I would like some feedback on an idea I've been mulling over, which can effectively be boiled down to forcing a state of unconsciousness while in the noose.
I have attempted via partial hanging 5 separate times over the weekend. Blacking out felt like "TV static," like a slow dissociation from everything.
I kept pulling myself back from the void. At first, it was such an odd feeling; to taste death. I forgot about my problems for a little while (20-30min) and my mind was making up all sorts of reasons to continue living. Then, they came back.
Now, it only takes a minute or so to return to my senses. If that. I enjoy the rush of nearly dying, but having all of my painful memories flood back to me is unbearable.
My plan is to triple down on CNS & respiratory depression. I have never used a prescription painkiller in my life, and I was always averse to taking OTCs like Tylenol or Advil. That is to say, my tolerance is basically zero.
I will be mixing a muscle relaxant (methocarbamol 3000mg/750mg x 4), 20mL of Promethazine, & 0.5L hard liquor while I already have the rope around my neck, in the kneeling position. I plan to keep dropping my weight forward until I finally lose the strength to fight back.
I've cut my weight down to about 62kg (136lbs). Just the alcohol alone would make me pass out, but this cocktail combined with the blood-flow restriction from partial hanging almost makes my death a guarantee. My CNS & respiratory functions will already be heavily impaired, which should limit convulsions & unconscious SI.
Hopefully, I will never wake up again. There will be nobody around to cut me loose, resuscitate me or notify EMS. It could be several hours or even a day or two before I'm found.
TL;DR
Please let me know your thoughts. I plan to go through with this tomorrow. Should I add anything? What are my chances of dying? What would happen if I survived? Thank you all for your help.
I have attempted via partial hanging 5 separate times over the weekend. Blacking out felt like "TV static," like a slow dissociation from everything.
I kept pulling myself back from the void. At first, it was such an odd feeling; to taste death. I forgot about my problems for a little while (20-30min) and my mind was making up all sorts of reasons to continue living. Then, they came back.
Now, it only takes a minute or so to return to my senses. If that. I enjoy the rush of nearly dying, but having all of my painful memories flood back to me is unbearable.
My plan is to triple down on CNS & respiratory depression. I have never used a prescription painkiller in my life, and I was always averse to taking OTCs like Tylenol or Advil. That is to say, my tolerance is basically zero.
I will be mixing a muscle relaxant (methocarbamol 3000mg/750mg x 4), 20mL of Promethazine, & 0.5L hard liquor while I already have the rope around my neck, in the kneeling position. I plan to keep dropping my weight forward until I finally lose the strength to fight back.
I've cut my weight down to about 62kg (136lbs). Just the alcohol alone would make me pass out, but this cocktail combined with the blood-flow restriction from partial hanging almost makes my death a guarantee. My CNS & respiratory functions will already be heavily impaired, which should limit convulsions & unconscious SI.
Hopefully, I will never wake up again. There will be nobody around to cut me loose, resuscitate me or notify EMS. It could be several hours or even a day or two before I'm found.
TL;DR
- Hard liquor (40% ABV) 0.5L
- Methocarbamol (muscle relaxant) 3000mg
- Promethazine (antihistamine) 20mL
- All ingested back-to-back while the noose is already tightened around my neck, in the kneeling position for a partial hanging
- Triple-down on CNS/respiratory depression should limit unconscious SI/convulsions & greatly aid in cessation of breathing
- Ideally, I should fall asleep peacefully & involuntarily in the correct position to CTB and finally have peace.
Please let me know your thoughts. I plan to go through with this tomorrow. Should I add anything? What are my chances of dying? What would happen if I survived? Thank you all for your help.
