Help a solution?

[kindawannacrylol]

A few days ago i suggested the idea of 'changing' my lesbianism through conversion therapy, and hearing stories and advice from people on SS has convinced that it's not a very good idea at all. Being a lesbian is one of the best things in my life, the ability to love women is so beautiful to me, but thats an opinion that only I share. I come from a catholic home and a catholic community, and because of that, coming out will cause me to lose everything. I'm only 19 and will only be able to move out when im financially stable or married. I'm still in university so I think my only choice now is to aim to get married and leave and have more freedom? It's not ideal but it will have to do. I think this option will make me the happiest i don't know.

 

[NextSummer]

If you don't like being together with men, it will not make you happy. Imagine somebody you don't like constantly wanting to have sex with you or get intimate with you. It's not only annoying, but also rejecting him all the time will make the relationship unpleasant. We live in 2021, a woman can live by her own and everybody has to accept that. Good thing about living in a religious household is that you don't talk about sexuality that much, so you don't have to hide yourself too much. "don't ask, don't tell" is okay for some years. When you are independent, it's up to you to come out.

 

[Going Home]

A few days ago i suggested the idea of 'changing' my lesbianism through conversion therapy, and hearing stories and advice from people on SS has convinced that it's not a very good idea at all. Being a lesbian is one of the best things in my life, the ability to love women is so beautiful to me, but thats an opinion that only I share. I come from a catholic home and a catholic community, and because of that, coming out will cause me to lose everything. I'm only 19 and will only be able to move out when im financially stable or married. I'm still in university so I think my only choice now is to aim to get married and leave and have more freedom? It's not ideal but it will have to do. I think this option will make me the happiest i don't know.

A few days ago i suggested the idea of 'changing' my lesbianism through conversion therapy, and hearing stories and advice from people on SS has convinced that it's not a very good idea at all. Being a lesbian is one of the best things in my life, the ability to love women is so beautiful to me, but thats an opinion that only I share. I come from a catholic home and a catholic community, and because of that, coming out will cause me to lose everything. I'm only 19 and will only be able to move out when im financially stable or married. I'm still in university so I think my only choice now is to aim to get married and leave and have more freedom? It's not ideal but it will have to do. I think this option will make me the happiest i don't know.

"Being a lesbian is one of the best things in my life, the ability to love women is so beautiful to me, but thats an opinion that only I share."

It is beautiful and you are not the only one who knows the truth about that. There are many haters but screw their opinions.

I hope you won't get married to one of them just to have freedom. Believe me you will be miserable if you have to wake up everyday and look at him. He might put you in all kinds of humiliating situations just to hurt you. For no other reason.

Peace to you.

 

[WornOutLife]

I think it will be hell for you if you get married with a man.
It's a bit hard but... f*ck the church and your family! You have the right to like whatever you want.

 

[Mouse_]

From one lgbt person to another - the advice is always "do not come out if there's a possibility it may hurt you", which seems to be the case here. You are in uni now, which is great. You are currently living with your folks, right? If so, focus on finishing your studies as soon as you can so you can find a job and get the f out of there as soon as you can. Better still, if you're able to, try to work and save up while you're still studying. It will provide you a safety net in case things were to go badly.

You don't need to get married as soon as possible to become independent. Worse than that, it could get you in a bad position if things don't work out as planned. Don't do it. If you have friends you can trust, try working something out with them instead. Or even aquaintances from uni - I'm sure there must be some kids out there who are housesharing and looking for a new flatmate. This, if you feel like you absolutely can't wait to leave your parents' house.

Best of luck

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

A few days ago i suggested the idea of 'changing' my lesbianism through conversion therapy, and hearing stories and advice from people on SS has convinced that it's not a very good idea at all. Being a lesbian is one of the best things in my life, the ability to love women is so beautiful to me, but thats an opinion that only I share. I come from a catholic home and a catholic community, and because of that, coming out will cause me to lose everything. I'm only 19 and will only be able to move out when im financially stable or married. I'm still in university so I think my only choice now is to aim to get married and leave and have more freedom? It's not ideal but it will have to do. I think this option will make me the happiest i don't know.

Firstly, I am *really* glad to hear that you are not going through with conversion therapy. Secondly, I want to share my story with you, because I think it might help.

I'm from a very Catholic family. I went to Catholic school, taught at a Catholic elementary school and a Catholic university, and worked in some capacity for the church for 20 years. My mother is a staunch Catholic, and even as I type this, she is sitting in a room down the hallway from me watching Mass on TV. When I came out to her she responded in the most hurtful of ways. I should post the letter here sometime - it's horrible. She called me "diseased" and a "social pariah" and said that death would be preferable for her than to have to endure a life with a gay son. When I had my first boyfriend, she kicked me out of the house. When I got engaged, she stopped talking to me for three months.

Now, she spends her winters with me and my husband here in the US. She loves him and gets along really well with him. We send family Christmas cards of the three of us together with our puppy. She and him bond over cooking and making fun of me. I even confronted her once about how negative she used to be to Michael, and how is that she turned a new leaf. She spoke honestly and I could tell she truly accepted both me and him for who we were and the life we chose.

I say this not to say that your parents will come around, or that every story is like this. Nonetheless, we should be open to the possibility that some people change and grow. It takes each of us some time to come to term with our own sexuality; it can take others time as well. Do what you need to do to make yourself happy. No one should be in a situation where their very existence is made to feel burdensome or sinful. No one should be surrounded by people who decry the way you are. But I suggest also staying open to the possibility that the relationship may heal some day.