A few days ago i suggested the idea of 'changing' my lesbianism through conversion therapy, and hearing stories and advice from people on SS has convinced that it's not a very good idea at all. Being a lesbian is one of the best things in my life, the ability to love women is so beautiful to me, but thats an opinion that only I share. I come from a catholic home and a catholic community, and because of that, coming out will cause me to lose everything. I'm only 19 and will only be able to move out when im financially stable or married. I'm still in university so I think my only choice now is to aim to get married and leave and have more freedom? It's not ideal but it will have to do. I think this option will make me the happiest i don't know.
Firstly, I am *really* glad to hear that you are not going through with conversion therapy. Secondly, I want to share my story with you, because I think it might help.
I'm from a very Catholic family. I went to Catholic school, taught at a Catholic elementary school and a Catholic university, and worked in some capacity for the church for 20 years. My mother is a staunch Catholic, and even as I type this, she is sitting in a room down the hallway from me watching Mass on TV. When I came out to her she responded in the most hurtful of ways. I should post the letter here sometime - it's horrible. She called me "diseased" and a "social pariah" and said that death would be preferable for her than to have to endure a life with a gay son. When I had my first boyfriend, she kicked me out of the house. When I got engaged, she stopped talking to me for three months.
Now, she spends her winters with me and my husband here in the US. She loves him and gets along really well with him. We send family Christmas cards of the three of us together with our puppy. She and him bond over cooking and making fun of me. I even confronted her once about how negative she used to be to Michael, and how is that she turned a new leaf. She spoke honestly and I could tell she truly accepted both me and him for who we were and the life we chose.
I say this not to say that your parents will come around, or that every story is like this. Nonetheless, we should be open to the possibility that some people change and grow. It takes each of us some time to come to term with our own sexuality; it can take others time as well. Do what you need to do to make yourself happy. No one should be in a situation where their very existence is made to feel burdensome or sinful. No one should be surrounded by people who decry the way you are. But I suggest also staying open to the possibility that the relationship may heal some day.
