Discussion (a) Prepping family (b) choosing a date

[Tally]

I am perhaps fortunate in that my close family are understanding of my future suicide, given the length of time I have been unwell, and the effect it has had. Of course they wish me to stay if I were happy, but not if staying is harder for me than going.

This doesn't equate to them being supportive of suicide, nor mitigates any pain on their part, but they understand the reasoning, and I can openly talk to them about this.

No matter what you do however, that final leaving will still be a shock of course, no matter how prepared someone is.

How have people considered choosing a data? It is difficult to look at what individual dates mean to people in terms of birthdays, public holidaydays, past deaths, anniversaries, and work out which date between all these things is the least painful for people. Your death will always be a specific date in the year, but it seems crueller to do it on your birthday, or the whatever date, which would be a double reminder. How do people choose, what sort of time frame from a date is OK etc?

Thanks

 

[Jean Améry]

I'm sorry to hear you've been unwell for so long.

As to communication with family regarding CTB: count yourself lucky. I don't think many people are able to talk to their family about this.

Apart from one ill-conceived semi-attempt out of sheer desperation which I didnt really consciously plan I never set a date. Given that I've decided to try to live for those I love (even though a part of me doesn't want to) I won't anytime soon.

The problem seems to be that there is no ideal date: your death will always be remembered and you will likely always be missed (especiall during family gatherings, birthdays...) no matter what date you pick. Try to avoid significant dates like the birthday of important family-members but other than that I'd say follow your gut and let de chips fall were they may.

The best of luck to you in whatever you decide.

 

[soda_pressed]

I sort of agree, I'm going to hopefully do it in a week, before I move out back to my parents so they won't have to be the ones to see my body.

Although I feel there is no ideal date. They'll hurt whenever.

 

[k3v3r]

i don't think date matters too much (unless you do it on someone's birtdday or something) They will get hurt no matter what

 

[Username786]

I really wish attitudes towards physician assisted were different. It seems like it'd be better for everyone involved if you could say proper goodbyes and maybe have someone with you. It makes me sad that so many, myself included, end up having to go it alone, and having to use an irish goodbye.

 

[Tally]

I really wish attitudes towards physician assisted were different. It seems like it'd be better for everyone involved if you could say proper goodbyes and maybe have someone with you. It makes me sad that so many, myself included, end up having to go it alone, and having to use an irish goodbye.

I agree username786. Sadly in the UK, politicians are far too scared to have a proper debate on assisted suicide, and certainly would never have the remotest thought to look at legislation. We have too many "pro-lifers", who believe that they have a right to have a say on our end of life wishes. Yes, measures need to be taken to ensure assisted suicide is not abused, but these things can be addressed. Maybe in 50 years we will be more enlightened.

When a suicide occurs, the question is always raised as to "how could we have prevented this?". Maybe this needs changing to "how could we have supported this person, so they don't have to spend time on a suicide forum trying to work out the least impacting and painless methods to end their lives"

 

[TAW122]

When a suicide occurs, the question is always raised as to "how could we have prevented this?". Maybe this needs changing to "how could we have supported this person, so they don't have to spend time on a suicide forum trying to work out the least impacting and painless methods to end their lives"

Yes! This is precisely the problem with most people who experienced the aftermath of a suicide. You've summed it up perfectly with those statements. Instead of focusing on preventing the act (suicide), they should focus on making things better and supporting the person who is suffering (not necessarily agreeing with or aiding them in their suicide) and understanding the root cause(s) for them wanting to suicide. If there isn't anything that can be helped, then people should just respect that individual's choice. It's sad that pro-lifers not only choose life for themselves, but want to impose their choice and will on others who don't want life. This is why I resent pro-lifers; it's not because they themselves want life, but they want to put that on others who don't want life and they use bullshit reasoning such as their morality (religion) says so and is absolute, or that people who don't want to live are mentally ill, irrational.

 

[Vegrau]

Honestly I think birthday is way better. They dont need to remember two dates. They only need to remember one and be done with it.

 

[NCBEYOND]

I think birthdays might actually not be that bad because it gives your family a reason to "celebrate" a otherwise totally upsetting day. I'm no where near my birthday and have set my date for next week but this is only as it's my earliest oppertunity without interruptions but it doesn't fall on a special day

 

[s_girl]

I think dying on your own birthday would be kind of poetic and beautiful in a way. If you don't have a time limit, then I think this day would work well.

 

[JadedGray]

Not to mention your tombstone will have the same date (minus the year) on your tombstone. I wonder how many people (by accident) have died on their birthday.

 

[Kikoo Loool]

Not to mention your tombstone will have the same date (minus the year) on your tombstone. I wonder how many people (by accident) have died on their birthday.

About 1 over 365.

 

[Nem]

My family knows I'm not doing well at all, the date will have to be soon and I don't think they would really care too much so I just need to select a not so future of a date and get it done.
Peace