Venting A person told me I’m immature for wanting to CTB

[AmDead]

I'm an intelligent older woman too (I'm 67) and I have no doubt that you are immature. That's not intended as a put-down. I am just stating a fact. "Mature" means that your mental and physical faculties have fully developed, and for most people that doesn't happen until their mid 20s. Since you are a teenager, you have not reached that stage.

I also think that the matter of whether you are mature or not is completely irrelevant to the question of whether you should ctb. As you say, depression hurts, and if it hurts badly enough and is going to remain forever then ending it all may be the most rational choice.

However, it is also a fact that, for most people, difficult times do not last forever. In your case, I think your best option is probably to wait and see whether things improve. The odds are in your favor.

Your friend was wrong not to take you seriously. When I was your age I didn't like it at all when adults thought they knew what was going on in my head better than I knew it myself. Almost always, they didn't. Adults who thought they knew everything annoyed me then, and they still annoy me.

I think you are wrong about your definition of mature. I think experiences have a lot to do with maturity as well, not just age. Yes, my mind is still developing, but it does not mean I have not started to make important decisions myself, or form my own opinions. You stated yourself that for "most" people aren't finished developing until mid-twenties. Are you saying that not one teenager in this world is mature?
As for the comments about me having many more opportunities, please read my answers to Emily.
I feel offended that I need to defend myself in this site which is supposed to be pro-choice and no judgements. 18 year olds are allowed to join this site and in my country, that is also the age where law sees us as mature enough to make decisions like the rest of the adults.
As for how maturity is related to ctb, I will ask you, would you have a problem with Sam immature person ctbing? Because from what I can tell you clearly do.

 

[Linda]

I think you are wrong about your definition of mature. I think experiences have a lot to do with maturity as well, not just age. Yes, my mind is still developing, but it does not mean I have not started to make important decisions myself, or form my own opinions. You stated yourself that for "most" people aren't finished developing until mid-twenties. Are you saying that not one teenager in this world is mature?
As for the comments about me having many more opportunities, please read my answers to Emily.
I feel offended that I need to defend myself in this site which is supposed to be pro-choice and no judgements. 18 year olds are allowed to join this site and in my country, that is also the age where law sees us as mature enough to make decisions like the rest of the adults.
As for how maturity is related to ctb, I will ask you, would you have a problem with Sam immature person ctbing? Because from what I can tell you clearly do.

I am not trying to put you down, and you do not need to defend yourself.

As regards "maturity", it is just a biological fact that humans continue to develop, physically and mentally until about their mid 20s. I don't think there is any need to get into an argument about that.

I completely agree that you are capable of making important decisions, and nothing in my original post suggested otherwise. I was capable of making important decisions from about age 14, and you are older than that. If you are completely certain that the right thing for you to do is to ctb, I will not try to stop you.

But I do know that when someone is in the middle of a difficult period, it can be hard to process the fact that the difficulties may not last. I speak from my own experience. I have been there. I was only a little older than you are now (I was 21), when I very nearly left this life because of difficulties I was experiencing. Those difficulties had been going on for months and I had reached my limit. Owing only to chance circumstances beyond my control, I was not able to ctb. That wasn't the end of the problems, and they continued to several more months. But then, very suddenly in my case, they vanished. They have never returned.

The only point I really want to try to get across in this exchange of view is that usually bad times come to an end. I can not guarantee that they will come to an end for you. But, as I said earlier, the odds are in your favor.

Good luck.

 

[FriendofDeath]

Time can also change things for the worst. Those so called opportunities do not interest me in the slightest. It's too small to see, but my profile pic says, "If the price of future happiness is this painful, I don't want it." It's not even guaranteed. I don't want to risk living another 10 years in this much pain. I don't care if I laugh with my family every now and then, it's not worth it.
Plus, I see a few people on here who regret that they had not committed sooner, like in their teens.

I wanted to die when I was young, though my childhood was really pretty good compared to most. But I didn't. I had moments while in college, but overall I wouldn't trade that experience. They say the brain hasn't fully developed in the teen years - maybe that's what @Emily123 is getting at. I am a depressed person. I am also in control, and if I need to go, I can go at any time. I have also explored ways to see if they could offer any relief. Some helped, or I might be gone. But I'm not fixed. And I am here, and I can tell you whatever decision you make will be supported.

 

[jameslb72]

someone told me ther other day that i sound like a real weakling. People sometimes say insensitive unkind things, either intentionally or unintenitionally. We live in a world where having your feelings hurt is akin to someone caving your head in with a hammer. I had a teacher call me a big girls blouse when i was 11. To those no in the know, this is a euphemism for effeminate queer. Sometimes you just have to let these things go or otherwise you drive yoruself crazy mulling over it.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

when you are a teenager , you still have too much opportunity to change your life ( you may not see any solution for the current situation in your life but please believe me . time can change many things in your life) . This is why it's still soon for any teenager to ctb ( it's not because you don't understand or older people understand more than you . it is because you still have too much time and time may also show its magic to change your life

I agree with this, but I still don't think it makes the OP immature, and I definitely don't think it's the right reaction for an older guardian. I think mature young people frustrated with the paths presented to them and the troubles of society often believe in suicide as a solution. It's difficult for them to imagine a positive outcome. Those of us with more life experience can support them and offer them a different vision. I don't think reducing their experience to "immaturity" accomplishes anything.

 

[Mercury6737]

"Mature" means that your mental and physical faculties have fully developed, and for most people that doesn't happen until their mid 20s. Since you are a teenager, you have not reached that stage.

Lol. From now on, the basis of loan cancellation arguments should be that teenagers/young adults weren't fully developed when they applied for said loans.

 

[TAW122]

I hate dismissive people like that. They don't understand your pain (or if they did, they underestimate and dismiss it) so they are ignorant in their responses. Also, humans like to gatekeep and in her case, she sees something that can be overcome or isn't as bad as what she thinks, thus she projects her own standards and views onto you. Yes, it is wrong for her to do that and you have every right to be upset at her.

Personally, I had similar people in my life as well, hence I don't open up anymore IRL, because not only is a waste of time, it also poses additional risk if I am to CTB down the road. The last thing I want is intervention when I've already made up my mind, therefore, I'm just maintaining radio silence until the very end.