Story A letter

[restingplace]

I think In the time leading up to my rest I'll start posting things I'd like to say to people since I won't have the guts to say it in person and it would be a cause for concern. This one is for my old art teacher.

Hi Mr B,
I've lost my passion for art, I've lost it for a while now which is a shame because I know you wanted me to go far with my art. I end up getting frustrated and leaving projects for weeks, months. Sometimes you felt more like a friend or therapist than an art teacher and I admire that, I've always been fearful of teachers my whole life but you're the only one I actually got to open up to and feel comfortable around. I always wondered about the tattoos on your arms and what they meant. When I was really depressed, halfway through my art gcse, sometimes I'd stay behind in the art room after school even if I didn't have anything to do, it was a place where I felt comfortable and not judged. I'd sit there for hours sometimes writing in my diary and listening to music until the cleaners told me to get going. This was during the colder months so the warmth of that classroom felt like a hug. Theres a lot I could say and want to say to you but it's hard to put into words, I think most importantly I thank you for noticing that I was different and encouraging me to stand out with my art and how I expressed myself. You understood a lot even when none of it was communicated directly. I've always admired your art too, its really quite unique and the detail always captivates me, I know you used to sit and work on your own stuff in class sometimes, really made the class feel like an actual art class.

I'll definitely visit before I kill myself, I wish I could've known your honest and deeper thoughts about the letter I gave you towards the end of highschool. Thanks for everything you've done for me and others. I used to wonder in class from time to time how you would react if you were to find out that I killed myself, would it take you by surprise?

Oh and another thing, every time you told me to be responsible whenever I was in the art room alone, I did listen, even when I had nothing to hurt myself with at home and I was desperate I never touched anything from the art class, I knew it would probably fuck you over if anyone found out and I couldn't picture myself betraying your trust. Thank you for trusting me, at the time a shy 15 year old with arms so cut up I couldn't actually feel much sensation in them. I doubt you will ever see this but hey if anyone finds this do let him know. He was a really good guy.

I think In the time leading up to my rest I'll start posting things I'd like to say to people since I won't have the guts to say it in person and it would be a cause for concern. This one is for my old art teacher.

Hi Mr B,
I've lost my passion for art, I've lost it for a while now which is a shame because I know you wanted me to go far with my art. I end up getting frustrated and leaving projects for weeks, months. Sometimes you felt more like a friend or therapist than an art teacher and I admire that, I've always been fearful of teachers my whole life but you're the only one I actually got to open up to and feel comfortable around. I always wondered about the tattoos on your arms and what they meant. When I was really depressed, halfway through my art gcse, sometimes I'd stay behind in the art room after school even if I didn't have anything to do, it was a place where I felt comfortable and not judged. I'd sit there for hours sometimes writing in my diary and listening to music until the cleaners told me to get going. This was during the colder months so the warmth of that classroom felt like a hug. Theres a lot I could say and want to say to you but it's hard to put into words, I think most importantly I thank you for noticing that I was different and encouraging me to stand out with my art and how I expressed myself. You understood a lot even when none of it was communicated directly. I've always admired your art too, its really quite unique and the detail always captivates me, I know you used to sit and work on your own stuff in class sometimes, really made the class feel like an actual art class.

I'll definitely visit before I kill myself, I wish I could've known your honest and deeper thoughts about the letter I gave you towards the end of highschool. Thanks for everything you've done for me and others. I used to wonder in class from time to time how you would react if you were to find out that I killed myself, would it take you by surprise?

Oh and another thing, every time you told me to be responsible whenever I was in the art room alone, I did listen, even when I had nothing to hurt myself with at home and I was desperate I never touched anything from the art class, I knew it would probably fuck you over if anyone found out and I couldn't picture myself betraying your trust. Thank you for trusting me, at the time a shy 15 year old with arms so cut up I couldn't actually feel much sensation in them. I doubt you will ever see this but hey if anyone finds this do let him know. He was a really good guy.