Love kills. This is advice for all of you who thankfully haven't fallen into this trap. Don't frickin date people, don't get involved romantically because you either break someone's heart or get yours broken or maybe even both. This ruins your life. The other person just moves on peacefully, finds someone but you're there stuck in your misery. Please take this from me guys, even if you think it's going to last forever, it won't. Don't do this to yourself.
Commandocoki
Member
- Aug 23, 2020
- 21
It's true. Painfully, ridiculously fucking true.
lost guy
Just a guy trying to work things out.
- Aug 12, 2020
- 94
Very true. 11 years down the drain. The pain is unbearable.
Thank you for the helpful tip. What would you suggest for people who want to feel love and affection but don't want to get hurt?
I feel bad for you. But I can't really relate because I have never had a long term relationship before, just flickers early on in my teens and early twenties that never went anywhere and then faded away all together. I guess maybe this can apply to friendships as well. I miss those. I wish I could have like normal friends...even the idea of a long term partner seems like it's asking for like some insanely impossible miracle act from the universe
Superdeterminist
Enlightened
- Apr 5, 2020
- 1,877
I hear you and I heed you. Things can go terribly wrong in love. But I fear that lovelessness can also be deadly.
Rue89
Visionary
- Feb 10, 2020
- 2,726
I agree. For me this applies to friendships too. I've never dated anyone, but every friend I've ever had left without giving me a reason. They just shut me out, and I no longer exist to them. I'm done with people.
RealHumanBean
Student
- Aug 8, 2020
- 102
I've destroyed so many friendships with my depression/mental illness. Either by saying inappropriate shit that makes people never talk to me again, or by being so taxing and stressful to be around that people simply cut me off. The worst part is that the best people absorb the most of it, and it makes you feel shitty about using them the most..
Deleted member 17949
Visionary
- May 9, 2020
- 2,238
idk sounds like some people have a good time but I would say, loosely from what I've seen, don't ever let yourself invest too much of your own happiness in another person. Don't become emotionally dependent on someone or allow them to depend too much on you since love is never as stable as it seems.
BPD Barbie
Visionary
- Dec 1, 2019
- 2,361
bravotess
I'ma jump ship now before I sink slow
- Aug 8, 2020
- 119
RedDEE
Life sucks and then you die.
- May 10, 2019
- 356
I would like to thank the OP for making this thread, and sharing this wonderful wisdom with us. I can confirm that everything the OP has said is true. I am very experienced with love. Cut love out immediately.
As someone with an irreparably broken heart, let me answer this one.
Choose lust instead. Love has hurt me in every way. But lust is pure. Lust can give you the feelings of closeness, and affection. Lust has never hurt me.
One night stands. Download the tinder app. Feel like you need love and affection? Find somebody that will fuck you, and cuddle you for one night. And then go home in the morning. You get all the benefits of closeness and affection without all the heartaches that love brings. And if you feel yourself falling in love - CUT THEM OFF IMMEDIATELY. Anybody can find a one night stand. Anybody can get fucked if they want to. Anyone can find affection. Just don't let it go too far.
As someone with an irreparably broken heart, let me answer this one.
Choose lust instead. Love has hurt me in every way. But lust is pure. Lust can give you the feelings of closeness, and affection. Lust has never hurt me.
One night stands. Download the tinder app. Feel like you need love and affection? Find somebody that will fuck you, and cuddle you for one night. And then go home in the morning. You get all the benefits of closeness and affection without all the heartaches that love brings. And if you feel yourself falling in love - CUT THEM OFF IMMEDIATELY. Anybody can find a one night stand. Anybody can get fucked if they want to. Anyone can find affection. Just don't let it go too far.
ghost-key
A Nord's Last Thought Should Be Of Home.
- Oct 22, 2018
- 15
Agreed. Drown yourself into your hobbies and work instead. Video games, books, road trips, movies...anything is better than getting attached to someone only to watch them walk away from you like you were nothing to them
Thank you. Unfortunately those apps have never worked for me. I don't get matches on Tinder and I have never been able to meet anyone for one night of fun or affection.
Darkhaven
All i have left is memories
- May 19, 2019
- 979
Dr Iron Arc
Into the Unknown
- Feb 10, 2020
- 20,756
Same here. I can't get matches on Tinder either (understandably) and I'm so naive I'd catch feelings too easily anyway. The only method I've found besides completely distracting myself with something else that even slightly works as temporary relief from these innate desires is to whine about it to people...
GravityUtilizer
Born to lose
- May 22, 2020
- 737
TheSoundofTime
In time you will find peace...
- Aug 9, 2020
- 71
Too late mate. It happened to me already and I can totally relate to your post and situation 100%. It's sad to hear that it happened to you too
This is partly why celibacy was such an important part of past societies. Wait till you find someone to marry then basically never divorce. If you divorce, not allowed to remarry or you get shamed by society.
When you do this in life, you don't go around using people and then ghosting when someone has outlived their usefulness which is what has happened since sexual revolution.
When you do this in life, you don't go around using people and then ghosting when someone has outlived their usefulness which is what has happened since sexual revolution.
That's a wise thing to say
I'd say it's impossible to never get hurt in love, it's rare to find something that lasts "forever" . To be honest, it's about not giving up no matter what, but even if your partner says that they won't, they still may, you cannot clap with one hand, you need both. There are going to be problems for sure but you have to overcome them which doesn't happen. It's silly to think that i ever believed in forever. I kept on fighting but sadly he didn't. And well now i'm broken beyond repair haha So much for love. And if you read this thread, a lot of people agree with what ive said so i guess this is pretty common. Strong willed and egoistic people survive this pain and try to seek revenge but emotional people such as myself get lost and go cray cray in the brain. I agree with what @RedDEE said. You can go on and get someone for a night, just for physical intimacy, however if you wish to seek emotional intimacy, I wouldn't suggest it at all. Seek it with yourself, seek it with your imagination and all things you, don't get another person close to you. As all wise people say, do drugs but never love, kids.
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Even tinder is dangerous for a lonely guy like me. I fell in love with a girl I met on tinder few months ago and she rejected me after knowking me better. ps. we didn't have sex but I still think about her.
Ghosting should be illegal
Well that's a vague Comment. It's easy to say that don't invest too much or don't be emotionally dependent. When you fall in love you want to give everything to that person. If i could just measure and think rationally about how much to give to them I wouldn't call that love, personally. That's just you trying to half ass contribute to a relationship and well, i did love that man with my whole heart.
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GravityUtilizer
Born to lose
- May 22, 2020
- 737
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