a friend?

[onigiri]

hello, i'm new. 24 year old girl. i've fantasized about suicide for as long as i could remember. the thought always brought me comfort. but now i feel i've come to the absolute conclusion it will happen. probably sooner rather than later. i always knew i didn't want to die of old age, but after several hospital trips from attempts and the suffocating feeling that things probably won't improve in my life, i've moved on to serious planning. not just impulsive pill swallowing without research, or impulsive partial hanging in my bathroom only to chicken out, i'm ready to start research into a final and full proof method. i'm no longer impulsive. i'm calm.. and certain. but i don't want to be alone. idk how long it'll be till i do it but i can't tell my friends or boyfriend or therapist, the people i talk to, because they'll try and stop me. until i reach that final point, u want a friend on that journey to talk to. maybe on that day, til my final moment. not a morbidly sick individual, an empathic person to be here if i maybe need them. i don't know. i'm not sure i'm making sense i'm sorry

 

[DoomedxFromBirth]

My messages are open if you ever want to chat

 

[Empty Smile]

Welcome to the dark side. We have cookies somewhere around here.....

 

[whyidon'tknow]

Hello welcome,

because you are a new member you cannot receieve or start conversations. I'll be your friend tho:)

Love and kindness

 

[onigiri]

My messages are open if you ever want to chat

i don't quite know how to message on here yet but thank you! c:

Welcome to the dark side. We have cookies somewhere around here.....

ooo i'm partial to thin mints tyty

Hello welcome,

because you are a new member you cannot receieve or start conversations. I'll be your friend tho:)

Love and kindness

thank you! c:

 

[DoomedxFromBirth]

i don't quite know how to message on here yet but thank you! c:

I think you have to wait until your messages open up, you have to post a bit more and had to have your account open for 24 hours I think

 

[been_there]

Hello, many here are empathetic when possible, I hope we can help. You can talk that suffocating feeling with a therapist without being specific. What do you talk to him/her about?

 

[Empty Smile]

ooo i'm partial to thin mints tyty

I'm sorry, but the thin mints disappeared when I arrived. My apologies. Would you like a chocolate chip cookie?

 

[inconsequential]

Welcome! My inbox is always open, and I'm always awake, so you can pop in whenever you'd like. I don't have cookies, but there's some candy & ramune around here somewhere.

 

[Empty Smile]

Welcome! My inbox is always open, and I'm always awake, so you can pop in whenever you'd like. I don't have cookies, but there's some candy & ramune around here somewhere.

Hey! I offered cookies first pal!

 

[inconsequential]

Hey! I offered cookies first pal!

Oh, c'mon, everyone needs ramune with their cookies!

 

[durba1]

Suicide is not a fantasy or an achievement to be proud of, it's the last option left when there is no possible solution for someone's sufferance.

 

[Empty Smile]

Oh, c'mon, everyone needs ramune with their cookies!

Are you talking about that ramune soda?

 

[inconsequential]

Are you talking about that ramune soda?

Yes. The lychee type is delicious.

 

[Empty Smile]

Yes. The lychee type is delicious.

Oh shit, the Japanese soda? I love that shit!! I haven't had it in years. I love how you have to open the bottle.

 

[Faraway1990]

I will be CTB soonish I would be happy to make a new friend feel free to DM me [email protected] if email is preferred that goes for anyone I'm happy to meet you.

 

[inconsequential]

Oh shit, the Japanese soda? I love that shit!! I haven't had it in years. I love how you have to open the bottle.

It's so fucking SATISFYING. Rip the plastic wrapper off, snap the plug out of the round plastic, and BOOM GOES THE RAMUNE! I love it. Ahhhh now I need to go buy more ramune.

 

[Empty Smile]

It's so fucking SATISFYING. Rip the plastic wrapper off, snap the plug out of the round plastic, and BOOM GOES THE RAMUNE! I love it. Ahhhh now I need to go buy more ramune.

We'll buy me a few dammit... I can't find them anywhere around my house

 

[RM5998]

You can drop a line to me whenever you want, and I'll try my best to respond. I can promise a patient ear, but not coherent replies.

Also, @inconsequential and @Empty Smile, stop making me hungry. The shops near my room are closed for another 2 hours or so.

 

[ProhibereDolor]

I am here for you if you need someone to talk with. I have always tried to empathize with people instead of having pity. Pity is a fucked up thing. Pity accomplishes nothing yet putting yourself into other people's shoes give you different perspectives rather than just looking down on someone. As soon as you are able to send messages go ahead and send me one and we can about whatever is on your mind. But my advice on what you said about friends, boyfriend, or therapist would try to talk you out of it....that's not always a bad thing. At the least it shows you that some people truly want you to be happy and not leave this planet faster than usual. I try to say inspirational quotes to some people I deem to be needing something to think about so here goes:
"We are going to die, and that makes us the lucky ones. Most people are never going to die because they are never going to be born. The potential people who could have been here in my place but who will in fact never see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of Sahara. Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than Newton. We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively exceeds the set of actual people. In the teeth of those stupefying odds it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here. We privileged few, who won the lottery of birth against all odds, how dare we whine at our inevitable return to that prior state from which the vast majority have never stirred?"

Hope you feel better soon. And remember, there is a whole community here that is willing to help you with anything. The people on this site actually care. Well, most of us anyway. I'm sure there's trolls under a bridge around here somewhere. But most of us just keep skipping along and not give them the satisfaction of paying or answering some riddle to get across.

 

[Jen0804]

you are welcome to reach out to me any time you need

(Anybody)

 

[Kringle's Curse]

I could use a new friend I'm lonely as shit

 

[ProhibereDolor]

I could use a new friend I'm lonely as shit

Send me a message.

 

[Jen0804]

I could use a new friend I'm lonely as shit

SEnd me one too if you would like

 

[Jean Améry]

I think you're making a lot of sense. It's actually one of the main reasons why most people are on here I suspect. I'm sure you'll find there are a lot of empathic, sincere people on here you can talk to if need be.

Welcome to SS. I hope you'll find what you need here. Perhaps even a small glimmer of hope, who knows?

 

[-L-]

Hi,
I need a friend too..
I'm lonely as shit, and am more then happy to talk with anyone, or listen.
I'm a female in my early 20s struggling primarily with chronic mental health issues, for some basic background on me.

If anyone wants to talk, my PM's are open (to anyone). Feel free to reach out to me if anyone wants to talk..

Thanks.

 

[Conflicted Cat]

It does suck doesn't it. Well, we're all here if you need anyone to talk to. We won't judge, or parrot "iT gEtS bEtTeR, yOu HaVe So MuCh To LiVe FoR!" People here are very understanding.

And yeah, we do have cookies here! Help yourself to one if you'd like.

 

[anna-morphosis]

hello, i'm new. 24 year old girl. i've fantasized about suicide for as long as i could remember. the thought always brought me comfort. but now i feel i've come to the absolute conclusion it will happen. probably sooner rather than later. i always knew i didn't want to die of old age, but after several hospital trips from attempts and the suffocating feeling that things probably won't improve in my life, i've moved on to serious planning. not just impulsive pill swallowing without research, or impulsive partial hanging in my bathroom only to chicken out, i'm ready to start research into a final and full proof method. i'm no longer impulsive. i'm calm.. and certain. but i don't want to be alone. idk how long it'll be till i do it but i can't tell my friends or boyfriend or therapist, the people i talk to, because they'll try and stop me. until i reach that final point, u want a friend on that journey to talk to. maybe on that day, til my final moment. not a morbidly sick individual, an empathic person to be here if i maybe need them. i don't know. i'm not sure i'm making sense i'm sorry

hi there. im in a very, very similar situation actually. new user, im 23. my experience going from suicidal teenager to suicidal adult has been kind of like going from vaguely anticipating a potential tumble out of my life and stopping at the hospital to recharge when i collapse but don't die, to taking very seriously the steps i'll have to take to make this stop, and realizing that the hospital can't really do anything but frustrate me now. the stakes of my life are higher, and so are the stakes of my death. i'd like to imagine that i've made my peace with dying alone, but whether or not i have, i've gotten myself into a situation where i'm being monitored for suicidal behavior and could use some support in figuring out a way around that, hence my coming here. i'm happy to talk privately with you or anyone else on this site if that's wanted. it's been incredibly freeing to find this place

 

[thedutchguy]

My inbox is open to any who want to talk or vent.
Got a discord and skype for those who want to talk realtime. So plenty of option feel free to contact me for a listening ear

 

[throwaway123]

hello, i'm new. 24 year old girl. i've fantasized about suicide for as long as i could remember. the thought always brought me comfort. but now i feel i've come to the absolute conclusion it will happen. probably sooner rather than later. i always knew i didn't want to die of old age, but after several hospital trips from attempts and the suffocating feeling that things probably won't improve in my life, i've moved on to serious planning. not just impulsive pill swallowing without research, or impulsive partial hanging in my bathroom only to chicken out, i'm ready to start research into a final and full proof method. i'm no longer impulsive. i'm calm.. and certain. but i don't want to be alone. idk how long it'll be till i do it but i can't tell my friends or boyfriend or therapist, the people i talk to, because they'll try and stop me. until i reach that final point, u want a friend on that journey to talk to. maybe on that day, til my final moment. not a morbidly sick individual, an empathic person to be here if i maybe need them. i don't know. i'm not sure i'm making sense i'm sorry

you're in for one hell of a ride. I've been where you are and let me tell you suicide does not only take planning but also desperation and willpower and the process of building up that willpower and desperation takes years for most of us and sometimes even decades.