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A failed CTB (what to say)

OneEyedUK

OneEyedUK

Member
Mar 18, 2018
17
So, without naming anyone, most of the regulars to the discord chat and to SS will know by now that someone a lot of us know has had a failed CTB attempt.
I'm not going to share the details of that with you all, although I do have everything, that's not the point of my post...

There are people that come into the chat and they seem to be only here for a few days then they tell us they are going to CTB and they are gone... that's always hard.. I still haven't got my head around that yet.

What's harder is when it's someone who has been around for a long time, who you have shared DM's with and got to know. I think you'd have to be pretty heartless to have no feelings AT ALL when they announce they are CTB, and they disappear!

My question.. or maybe just my thoughts even... are what do you say when they person comes back having failed?? Cause if any of you can say 100% that your sorry to see them ... then I have a long ways to go before I am there.
My friend is back... I wanted them to find peace.. I really, really did... but my friend is back... and part of me is glad... and that's SOO selfish ...

If at least one of you feels the same I won't feel like such a bad person ... but I'm still not sure what you are meant to say....
 
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gayprince.exe

gayprince.exe

Member
Mar 20, 2018
46
A drawback for failed suicide attempts is that one is often subjected to an increase of depression because they are often scolded for trying to kill themselves. When someone returns, I'd say to comfort them; we all share similar ideals when it comes to suicide. You will know better than all the people who tried to guilt trip them.
 
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H

Hikingcat

Member
Mar 19, 2018
16
I think it's natural to be happy because you get to talk to them again. I'd have conflicting feelings - happy for me, quite sad for them (especially if they had to endure a psych ward), and maybe a little bit happy for them because they have a chance of finding a life worth living.

I think most thing in life aren't purely good or purely bad. Conflicting feelings are fine =].
 
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DeathAngel

DeathAngel

New Member
Mar 24, 2018
2
No it's not selfish to feeling that, it's human and normal we haven't a heart for nothing. You just have to be present for him ( or her) and hope that the next time he don't fail or that he will feel better...
 
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F

fhbpd

Member
Mar 17, 2018
11
It's alright to have mixed feelings. Of course we wish them peace, but it is difficult to lose someone you care. It's not selfish to feel this way. We all would rather they felt better than CTB. Just offer them support for either trying again or giving life another chance.
 
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A

Aity4883

.
Mar 28, 2018
209
I don't see suicide as a good choice. The way I see it. We are in hell. And in hell you will suffer. Go left, right, up or down...it doesn't matter. You will suffer.

There is no good choice. Be alive in hell or die and let hell go on. Really a baaad fucked up situation we're in folks.

I have a friend who did fail and didn't come back for a month or so. Hospital...psych wards....the whole schabang. He left so fast... I regretted not talking to him more. Would talk to myself sending messages for the first week or so...it does suck losing someone.

When he came back I was happy and showed him more that I care. Now we're back to normal. Might not be for long though....
 
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millefeui

Enlightened
Mar 31, 2018
1,035
It is okay to feel relieved for someone you grew to care about still being alive. That said, if I know someone is suffering, I would be happier knowing they are (hopefully) in peace after passing away. It is not about what I feel, but about what they feel. Just my two cents, of course.
 
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EricRoche

EricRoche

Member
Apr 7, 2018
75
millefeui said:
It is okay to feel relieved for someone you grew to care about still being alive. That said, if I know someone is suffering, I would be happier knowing they are (hopefully) in peace after passing away. It is not about what I feel, but about what they feel. Just my two cents, of course.
Click to expand...

We don't have enough people like you in the world...Most people sadly think otherwise.
 
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millefeui

Enlightened
Mar 31, 2018
1,035
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Funkbunny

Student
Nov 18, 2018
116
You're far from a bad person! Duality. Glad they are back, sad they didn't get the result they wanted. Totally get it.
 
Tomoe

Tomoe

Member
Feb 12, 2019
44
I was in a similar situation as yours. Here's my take on it:

1) It's fine for you to feel that that person is not gone because you're getting something out of it: a friend/ someone to spend time with.
2) The only time I'd consider this feeling to be 'not okay' is if you don't support your friend in whatever decision they want to make. If they want to continue living, need mental support, you be their supporting hand in that. If they're keen on another attempt, I would support them in that as well, equally as much as if they were trying to live.
 
C

Connor36082

Member
Apr 18, 2019
44
OneEyedUK said:
So, without naming anyone, most of the regulars to the discord chat and to SS will know by now that someone a lot of us know has had a failed CTB attempt.
I'm not going to share the details of that with you all, although I do have everything, that's not the point of my post...

There are people that come into the chat and they seem to be only here for a few days then they tell us they are going to CTB and they are gone... that's always hard.. I still haven't got my head around that yet.

What's harder is when it's someone who has been around for a long time, who you have shared DM's with and got to know. I think you'd have to be pretty heartless to have no feelings AT ALL when they announce they are CTB, and they disappear!

My question.. or maybe just my thoughts even... are what do you say when they person comes back having failed?? Cause if any of you can say 100% that your sorry to see them ... then I have a long ways to go before I am there.
My friend is back... I wanted them to find peace.. I really, really did... but my friend is back... and part of me is glad... and that's SOO selfish ...

If at least one of you feels the same I won't feel like such a bad person ... but I'm still not sure what you are meant to say....
Click to expand...
How can I join the discord?
 
Bagger

Bagger

Stressful
Jun 18, 2019
331
Read this thread https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/list-of-resources.3/
 
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