Venting a difficult night

[listeningpost1379]

I have been trying to get work going to salvage my situation but family clashes are tormenting me. Tonight there was a huge fight with me crying for two hours straight as they kept insulting and threatening me, somehow my arms ended up bruising a bit too. I have been too tired to work on anything, my brain is like scrambled eggs despite urgency. I hate everything so much, kinda miss the brain I used to have until my late 20s, that could write research papers through tears no matter how physically or mentally hurt I was. Now I'm trying to not relapse into thinking about the deep extent to which my family, that boasts every single nightmare Asian family stereotype imaginable and unimaginable, has abused me and controlled my life and ruined myself as a person and my past and my future both; and the wars and political circumstances they birthed me into that have made everything so difficult...

I'll shower now and then brew some coffee, wish me luck and strength and uh for my remaining brain cells to die at a slower rate lol